Torrente 4 Page #4

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Wrote it for my missus

who's as bad as they come,

but I love her sick.

Right, very good,

very nice, Joaquin.

You'll come to realize

God didn't give

you this calling.

Perhaps you should return to

playing sports in the yard or

arts and crafts,

that sort of stuff.

What are you saying, Father?

F*** that sh*t!

I'm outta here, damn shithead!

Boys!

Joaquin

is no longer with us!

Right on, Father

only those who know

how to sing can stay.

What a b*tch, so they

set you up, eh?

You said it

it's a heavy charge.

I gotta get out of here,

to clean my honor

and get revenge.

There must be a way.

There-'s a prisoner: "Colibri",

the humming bird.

He's been planning an escape

digging a tunnel for years.

He's almost finished

Maybe,

if I talk to him

This, this is the cell.

It cost me smokes to see him.

How do you do it, uncle?

You maneuver like

you're at home.

It's been many

years, my boy.

What a guy! Let's go.

I told you. Freedom

is right here.

Always a p*ssy involved.

A creature, I saw a

That's no creature, it's a man.

This is "Colibri".

What the f***?

Hi, Mr. Colibri. My name is

Jos Luis Torrente. A pleasure.

"ML Colibri"

F*** me and my f***ing rep.

Three years of digging

with a spoon for this

Hey, come on,

don't be like that.

This man would drown

in a glass of water.

He-'s small enough.

Today, I finally

reached the end,

and what do I see

through the hole?

The end of the tunnel

is right

right below the wall

where the guards patrol.

Don't tell me you

drew the map wrong?

Never happen to me.

You miscalculated.

You gotta pay special attention

to height and angle, that's it.

Gregorio, make him disappear

before I rip his eyes out!

What could I do?

Here's this Cuban

eyeing my girl's ass,

saying I love you baby,

I wanted to hit him,

which is what i did, that's

what I did, Torrente.

Instead of receiving a medal,

I got sent here like a criminal.

It's not not fair.

No, it isn't.

What why are you in jail?

I killed a man!

He must've done something

to piss you off.

Yeah, he looked at me.

I know how to do it

Like they did it in

"Victory" with Stallone.

You know that World

War I flick?

They were in a

"consecration" camp,

and played a match against the

Nazis, escaping at halftime.

Movies are not my thing.

But it premiered after 1972

It was a huge hit!

Anyway, we'll do it too.

We'll organize a big match,

a real spectacle of

rivals, Atleti-Real Madrid!

Against the guards.

And escape through the tunnel.

He's bright, huh?

We'll need a car outside

But I got that covered,

don't worry, I have a

team of professionals.

Very nice, Manolito,

they look real.

You look like someone else.

Are the lashes yours?

No, I put on a little makeup.

- Bring the ...?

- Yes, Torrente.

Super, it's key.

Yes, sir.

I need to tell you the exact

date and time of the match.

Jos Luis and Maruja Soler

pass to the visitors' quarters.

You have 15 minutes.

Here you are, hurry up!

You wouldn't believe what it

took to get that thing in,

and to pull it out

I decided to

Tie a string to

it like a Tampax.

Here it is.

What the f***

- What sh*t is this?

- Mine.

Let's see, you inserted

that in there unwrapped?

Believe me it wasn't easy.

You wanted it gift-wrapped?

No, man, just a little plastic,

cellophane, something

The important thing is that

it has a battery and it works.

I tried it, it buzzes.

I'm sure you spent half the

afternoon calling yourself.

You say the darndest things!

Come on, wrap it up!

We'll need a car right away.

- Be ready for my call

-Yes, sir.

Uh, Torrente,

since we're already here,

do you want me to

Say what ...? How can you

be such a degenerate?

Mr. Castano, it's a

pleasure and an honor

to be in the office of

a Real Madrid supporter.

I saw you out of respect to your

uncle, dean of prisoners here

but let me tell you from the outset

that arranging a match won't be easy.

Here, the rabble

uh, the prison population, lacks

camaraderie and sportsmanship.

You're tighter than right.

It's a question of motivation.

I'm just the person to

inculcate in these people

the competitive spirit.

You know, I

I was a junior player for

Real Madrid when I was a kid.

They called me the Dark

Arrow, say no more.

What memories

What a time.

It just occurred to me

Why don't you personally

manage the guards' team?

Manage, at my age?

You tempt me, Torrente

You tempt me.

- Skipper, me me!

- Nah, I want stars, stars

Nothing but wannabes here

Historically, South

Americans just aren't

good at soccer.

Look at him, he's

got a nice touch.

Gimme a break, man.

He's black.

So what?

Wasn't Pele black?

He was the best

player of all time.

- That's true.

- Right.

Let' see. Hey, boy,

Bimbu, bimbu,

Ankawa, ale!

Again the cops I no

just arrive, I Spanish!

Spanish! F*** me!

Pirate DVD, I no

know. I friend.

Soccer, you like soccer?

Play with monkeys,

back in jungle?

He understands "nada".

Throw him the ball

Ball.

F***, he does

have a touch.

Give him a pack of smokes,

he's on our team.

Bumbu, bumbu, guay

Come here, come on

Don't be afraid, dude!

Fight,

tactics, freedom,

feeling, yeah

Team spirit

The ol'red-and-white!

- Peralta, please.

- Yes, sir.

Let's begin with

some technique

"Mustache", "Teeth", go!

Some respect, damn it.

You act like kids!

Come on, listen up a bit, the

We have fake strikers,

fake backs, we got 'em all.

Above all, we have

fake defenders.

The only authentic

guy is the goalkeeper.

We'll play the "fake-out".

Coach,

why not use two strikers

and attack from the sides?

This way the midfield

will be in closer too.

Look kid,

shut up if you have

nothing to say.

Respect experience.

Hey, you're off the team

Get outta here!

Bastard.

Hey Torrente, Iet's

play "Tiki-Taka".

Can someone translate?

- Mr. Castano.

- What?

- How goes it? Coaching eh?

- Looks like it.

Where was I this kid

haven't I seen him before?

He's my nephew.

So he's not a

staff employee?

No, he-'s studying for

a civil service job,

but let's not get all bent

out of shape over players now.

After all, it is

a friendly match.

We're gonna crush you!

Hey! Shave it!

There he is!

He's Bazooka Boy, Torrente!

Bah, lighten up

He lacks technique. He-'s

all brute strength. Boom!

I may not know too much,

but I do know how to train.

Are we men or are we queers?

Come on, let's go!

Move, go, go!

Yeah, you're machine!

Up, up, there you go!

That's it, very good!

No pain

lift that black ass,

move that rear,

that's it, keep it up!

Alright, sprint, sprint!

- 5, 6, 7!

- There you go!

Yeah, let's go!

Very good, very good

I'm strong as an ox.

Don't worry about me.

You don't worry me,

I only worry that if you

insist on coming with us

you endanger the operation.

Baloney, Jos Luis, you

won't even know I'm here.

OK Dioni, what are

you staring at?

The bikes.

- I thought vans were your thing.

- They were.

-Jos Luis Torrente?

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