Touch of Pink Page #6

Your mother has

a baby grand piano.

She can't play a note either.

Good one. Well, I better be going.

You know what's the matter with you?

What?

Your upper abs.

We should do some crunches later.

Tighten them right up.

I'm sorry.

- You didn't do anything wrong.

- No.

No. I'm sorry you had to see that.

- It must have been a shock.

- Yes.

I'm not completely backwards.

I know about men with men.

I subscribe to Reader's Digest.

- Khaled is just...

- No.

Not Khaled.

I didn't know about you and Giles.

I didn't know that you had such...

...feelings...

...for him.

Really, I had no idea.

No idea at all.

Here's the beep,

you know what to do.

Hi. It's me.

Remember how you said...

... you'd never been to Canada...

...or met my family or...?

Well, whatever.

I was just wondering...

... whether you wanted to come

to Canada.

You know, for the wedding?

What's the matter?

- Couldn't get ahold of him.

- Who?

Giles.

Probably out buying you

a little "I'm sorry" present.

I thought we might enjoy

Gunga Din together.

Set in India, you know.

Has Indians in it.

Your kind of Indians,

not the John Wayne kind.

How about it?

This is...

For a nice little elephant girl.

This is lovely, lovely, lovely.

See that elephant?

The worst breath.

Even worse than Irene Dunne.

I'm going to iron my sari

for the wedding.

You're still going to go?

For Dolly and Hassan's sake.

If you have anything

that needs ironing...

- I didn't bring a suit.

- Maybe your father's suit would fit you.

- But you're busy.

- No, no. This isn't important.

Good.

Come.

I used to love that film.

I took you to see all the Cary Grant

films, do you remember?

Cary Grant, Doris Day.

The Naz Cinema in Mombasa.

They used to play all of them.

Years after they were made.

We didn't know.

I so wanted to be like

the girls in those films.

I went to London because of them.

You went to take a secretarial course

so you could support us.

I went to London to be Doris Day.

Your father passed away

in his sleep.

I woke one morning and I knew,

without looking.

Everything had become so still.

Everything in me became still.

Even my feelings for my little boy.

For weeks, I just...

I felt nothing.

Then, one afternoon,

I went to a film.

Suddenly there was a way out.

Suddenly I could be Doris Day,

flying off to a new life in London.

Trouble is, London wasn't interested

in any Indian Doris Days.

Then or now.

I wish it was different.

But it wasn't.

That little accusing face...

When I came back,

you wouldn't talk to me or anyone.

You'd laugh and play

with your invisible friend.

But nothing for me.

Just that little accusing face

with your father's hurt chin.

We'll catch the morning flight

to London.

- Hello?

- Hi, it's me.

- I got your message.

- Oh, yeah?

I just thought, you know...

I was very pleased

to get your message.

- Yeah?

- Seems like you're enjoying Toronto.

I'm glad.

I'm really happy you've made peace

with that part of your life.

Hello?

Just because you order

extra-hot at Flaming Tandoori...

...does not make you

anything other...

...than a sanctimonious,

toffee-nosed, lily-assed tosser.

Oh, it's the oldest story in the book.

Boy meets boy.

Boy loses boy and goes to Toronto.

Boy gets back together with boy

in London for a happy ending.

- Well, maybe not the oldest story.

- Stop it!

There's not gonna be

a happy ending.

And there's nothing you

or I can do about it.

Today's the big day.

- Yes, but the taxi hasn't arrived yet.

- I'll go and call one.

Really? Thanks. So kind.

You're Alim?

You're very lucky

to have a mother like her.

She's quite the woman.

If you don't mind my saying so.

It all looks perfect.

- Hello.

- Hello, Dolly.

What?

What? What is it? Don't I look

all right? What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

- Is there?

- Of course not.

What could be the matter?

Today's my big day.

Is something smudged?

Will you tell me?

Don't I look all right?

Auntie, you look fine.

Maybe just a bit tense?

This is not tense.

I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

Oh, here's Khaled.

The mukhi should be here soon.

I'll go and see him.

- Dolly...

- Excuse me.

Do you think

I should say something?

What?

What is it?

Excuse me.

Actually, Dolly, there is something

I want to talk to you about.

Now, which one is she?

- Who?

- Alim's girl.

The lucky so-and-so got himself

a neuro-brain surgeon.

He brought her, didn't he?

He wanted to, but...

Actually, there's a funny story

about that.

- Why are you dressed like that?

- Well, I wasn't really sure.

It's an Indian wedding,

so I thought...

- You thought what?

- Well, India!

And she dropped the scalpel

inside the rabbi's tummy.

Oh, that's not funny.

That's a malpractice suit.

And what's this tummy business?

I thought she was a brain surgeon.

Excuse me. I have a dry throat.

I guess I need some punch.

Excuse me.

I can see why you wanted to come.

It's like Oscar night out there.

No, more like the spoils

of a maharajah.

- Gunga Din?

- Yes.

How about an elephant ride

across the Rajasthani Desert.

Just stop it, Cary.

Nuru?

- It's warm in here, isn't it?

- It's all right, Nuru. I know.

- Know what?

- About Alim.

Our room used to be next

to Khaled's...

...and your boy's got

quite a set of lungs.

- Oh, my God!

- Exactly. Just like that.

- You let them?

- I've always given Khaled his freedom.

He's given me all this.

I don't see how you can go ahead

with the nuptials.

- What do you mean?

- Nuptials. That means...

I know what nuptials means,

my son's a dentist.

- What about Nina?

- She's marrying my son, the dentist.

Look, I want grandchildren

and ice sculptures and place cards.

And so do you, Nuru. Don't pretend.

But if Khaled can do his duty,

there's no reason why Alim can't.

A happy ending

justifies everything, Alim.

I always do whatever it takes

to make you happy.

You don't understand

what makes me happy.

Of course I do.

It's you who've forgotten.

Alim.

Alim!

- Yes?

- Is this the Lalani wedding?

Yes. Waiters go in the back.

You're very late.

Go change in the toilet, quickly.

Our secret.

I cannot be a witness

to this wedding.

- I'll slip out. Nobody will notice.

- Everybody will notice!

Nuru, you're not going anywhere.

Now, don't play

the perfect mother with me.

You left your son

and we picked up the pieces.

We will always pick up the pieces.

We are family.

Rolex says 38 minutes. And that

caterer is scary with numbers.

I'm not...

Hassan must be drunk.

I knew we should've had

a cash bar.

Has there been a hockey match?

Has Canada won?

Uncle, this is Giles.

Oh, he's a friend, then?

Yeah. I hope it's all right.

Of course. We have pheasant

samosas coming out of our ears.

Hassan. Very good party.

Hello.

It's good to see you.

I'm sorry, I know. Your family.

I cannot believe my eyes.

Can't you stop them?

Think I'll get a Coke.

Excuse me.

Why is Alim kissing that man?

And what will his fiance,

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