Trail of the Pink Panther Page #4

what is the inescapable conclusion?

Maria Gambrelli killed the chauffeur.

What? You idiot. Impossible.

- She's protecting someone.

- How do you know that?

- Instinct!

- But, the facts.

You are forgetting

the most important fact... motive.

- He beat her.

- He was Spanish.

- He tore her dress off.

- Don't be ridiculous.

Would you kill somebody

who tore your dress off?

- I suppose not.

- Of course not.

No, there is no doubt

in my mind whatsoever, Hercule.

Maria Gambrelli is most definitely

protecting somebody.

Find that somebody,

and you have found the murderer.

And I shall find the murderer

before the day is out.

Maria Gambrelli

will tell me who he is.

Yet Clouseau was proved right.

Maria Gambrelli was innocent.

Clouseau was always proved right

at the end of the case,

but on the way, even he

made a few miscalculations.

Now he is lost in the sea.

I admired his successes,

but his methods...

they made a mockery

of everything I knew of police work.

So I quit,

but I have a good life.

I carry a few cargos,

charter to a group of tourists in August

when it gets too hot

to stay in Paris.

Don't you miss it sometimes...

the excitement?

Young lady,

if I missed the excitement,

don't you think

I would bait my hook?

Thank you, Hercule Lajoy.

I like you, and I don't think

you're nearly the hard case

you make yourself out to be.

I like Hercule, too, just because

he is the hard case he seems to be.

If you really want to get

to the bottom of this Clouseau thing,

forget about the ones

on his side of the law.

Dig up some of the crooks

he caught, or didn't catch.

Call again when you're

in the neighborhood!

Thank you.

I may do that.

They only show

the top half of you on television.

- I'm glad the bottom is as good.

- Me, too.

How's business?

- Better.

- Picking up.

Clouseau disappears,

business gets better?

- Sure thing.

- Yeah, boss.

This Marie Jouvet...

- She's snooping around.

- So what?

Who knows? But I think

it's better if we put a tail on her.

Louis, she's no dummy.

- Pick a couple of good boys, huh?

- Done.

When I first met

Inspector Clouseau

about 20 years ago in Cortina,

I had a nasty ski accident.

Unfortunately, Clouseau happened

to be staying at the same hotel.

Sir.

Excuse me.

My leg is caught.

You were married

to Inspector Clouseau.

Yes.

Had you known Sir Charles

before Cortina?

Only casually.

I am willing to bet you

10,000 francs

that the Phantom is in Cortina

at this very moment.

Even, perhaps,

in this very room.

How exciting.

What do you think, Mr. Tucker?

I agree with the inspector.

Ten of his victims have been guests

at Angela Dunning's parties.

- What are you all talking about?

- The notorious Phantom.

I've never heard of him.

The little I've read about him,

he seems to be quite a fellow.

There are few thieves

who are as clever as the Phantom.

Each theft is

completely different and unique,

classic in its conception.

I thought you were working on

the theory that he does repeat himself.

Only as far as Angela Dunning's

parties are concerned.

There is one other duplication,

but that is his trademark,

his calling card, so to speak.

He always leaves

a white monogrammed glove.

Sounds terribly theatrical.

If I were the Phantom,

I'd have chosen my victim already.

Really? Who?

Who owns the most fabulous

diamond in the world?

- I suppose I do.

- The Pink Panther.

Such a prize he could never resist.

He would be bound to try for it.

He'd be disappointed.

The Pink Panther is in my safe at...

Your Highness, please,

don't say it here.

If I'm not being too nosy,

I read that there was some dispute

over ownership of the Pink Panther.

It belongs to me.

It was a gift from my late father.

- I shall never surrender it.

- Why should you?

When the present government

seized power,

they claimed the diamond

was the property of the people.

There's even talk of the international

court deciding the issue.

Why don't I steal the diamond,

leave that glove behind,

and you and I can split the insurance?

All right.

I feel like dancing.

Your Highness?

I'd love to.

- How about you, madame?

- Yes, of course.

- Your leg is better, Sir Charles.

- What?

I say, your leg is better.

Much better, thank you.

Mr. Tucker...

That's my beer.

In May 1964,

you divorced Inspector Clouseau.

- A year later...

- I married the man of my dreams.

Who was that, darling?

That fellow Clouseau accused

of being the notorious Phantom.

Oh, him. You have to forgive her.

She's not very good on names.

- He's terribly attractive.

- But she has impeccable taste.

What made Inspector Clouseau

think you were the Phantom?

An anonymous phone call.

I see.

Come up immediately.

Sir Charles.

The Phantom.

I've really got him this time.

- Of course he was wrong.

- About what?

- About you being the Phantom.

- Of course he was wrong.

Wrong, but persistent.

Persistent he was.

He was convinced I was planning

to steal the Pink Panther.

When Princess Dala

gave a costume ball

at her villa in Rome,

Clouseau was there with his men.

Warm?

Yes. Must be hell in there.

But it's not so good in there.

- Anything suspicious?

- No, nothing to worry about.

My men are everywhere,

mingling here, mingling there,

watching all the time.

How dare you drink on duty!

Who is inside there?

- Sergeant Walter!

- Sergeant Quash.

Go on behaving like this

and I'll have your stripes!

The Pink Panther

was stolen that night?

By a gorilla.

Come back.

It's me!

To my dying day,

I'll never forget that old man

trying to cross the street.

Come on, faster!

Hurry!

What's the matter with you?

Can't you drive faster?

We've been down this street.

Come on.

Quick! This is the road

they have gone up.

Don't argue with me.

I know where they've gone!

George, any idea

how we get out of here?

I don't know. I've been up

this street, that one, that one.

- How are we gonna get out?

- Try the high road.

I'll take the high road,

you take the low road.

- So long, Uncle Charles.

- Ciao, George.

Who taught you

to drive this thing?

I see them!

That's them.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes!

Believe it or not,

for a while,

it looked as though

Clouseau himself was the Phantom.

He was arrested

for having stolen the Pink Panther

and sent to prison.

Tucker!

But he was innocent?

Inept, but innocent.

- Inept?

- Wouldn't you say so, darling?

Not in everything, darling.

He was a terrific sleeper.

- It's hard to believe.

- It's true.

He almost never made a serious

mistake while he was sleeping.

I mean inept.

France's greatest detective?

It does test one's reality.

- Do you think he's dead?

- I hope not.

- What do you think, Sir Charles?

- No.

Men like Clouseau never die.

They're indestructible.

- That's the way it should be.

- Why?

We need them.

They help us preserve

our sense of humor.

They're living proof

that however bad things get,

if you persevere, you survive

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