Tramps Page #3

---

What's wrong with my mustache?

All right, who else?

I don't wanna

talk about this with you.

Come on, give me something.

Very bad for Darren?

Ma, it could be very bad for me.

What about high school?

Some scandalous hallway hookups?

Some stairway action?

All right.

Rebecca Vargas.

She touched my penis in tenth grade.

- Wow. Rebecca Vargas?

- Yeah, Rebecca Vargas.

Rebecca Vargas back then...

Oh, my God, man.

Ohh.

I don't know if it counts, though.

- Why wouldn't it count?

- Well...

All right.

Mike Budabin, a friend of mine,

he told everyone

that whoever got Rebecca Vargas

to touch their penis first,

wins the "Special Prize."

What was the Special Prize?

It was having Rebecca Vargas

touch your penis.

- Makes sense.

- Right.

Anyway, she found out about this prize

being associated with her

and she wanted to know what it was.

And so she asked me,

and I said that I would tell her, but...

she had to touch my penis first.

So she tapped it with her pinky and...

that's how I won the Special Prize.

Daniel, just come home now.

You'll make supper,

and the bettors are coming early tomorrow.

We should just let Darren handle it.

Yeah.

Daniel?

I'm gonna stay.

Daniel? Daniel? Hello?

Thank you.

I don't know if that's

the sweetest or saddest story

I've ever heard in my life.

No, no, no, it's the sweetest.

It's the sweetest.

For the record, it counts.

- Really?

- Yeah, of course.

I mean, she touched your penis, right?

You don't think that

we should just sleep in the woods?

I am not sleeping in the woods.

- What if this is alarmed?

- The pool shed?

- I don't know.

- Don't worry. It's not alarmed.

Just come on. Live a little.

So he ends up going to court

and he was in the courtroom going

"It was a ghost."

And the judge is like,

"I know the ghost. I've seen it."

So he got off.

Whoa.

So, what do you cook?

Everything.

- I mean, at the restaurant.

- Oh. Um...

It's, uh, it's a nice little

Italian place.

You ever been there? To Italy?

No. No.

I mean, the only place I've ever been

is Providence.

Well, that's where you should go.

Forget Sacramento.

Yeah.

I've been there once.

- You have?

- To Italy, yeah.

Wow. Did you go with your family

or something?

No.

- I'm sorry, I didn't...

- Don't be sorry.

Do you like it there?

Yeah, I guess.

Italy has a lot of shady people

once you get past all the tourist stuff.

Right.

You don't ever think that maybe

it's... it's not the place that's shady,

it's the people you're choosing

to hang out with.

You know, why don't you go somewhere else

besides Providence for the weekend

before you start acting

like you know everything.

- I'm sorry.

- No, it's... No, no, it's okay.

I'm just cold.

You know, if... if you are cold,

we could... we could hold each other.

Excuse me?

You know, we could hold each other

for warmth.

You wanna cuddle me?

Look, it's a meteorical fact.

I'm not, you know.

Meteorological.

That's what I meant.

If you try anything, I swear to God

you're gonna f***in' regret it.

No, I'm... I'm a little scared of you,

so I'm not...

Okay.

Yeah?

We're only cuddling for warmth.

Yeah. Cuddling for weather purposes.

Hey, it's me. We're fine.

We're on it, but we got delayed.

So it won't be going down till tomorrow.

So, yeah.

We'll be at the motel in the morning.

So that was Ellie.

And it's fine, you know.

Uh, they're a little delayed,

but they'll be there in the morning, so...

Just drop me off at the motel

and it's all good.

What exactly is good about that?

It's, uh... You know, she has it.

- She said that?

- Yeah.

Let me hear the message.

I deleted it.

She'll be there.

I mean, she needs the money.

I mean... and she's gotta bring him too,

or else she won't get his share, so...

You know, it'll work out.

- Like it worked out in Camden?

- That was three years ago, Jimmy.

Come on, man.

Move on.

Yeah, maybe for you and me

moving on is a good idea.

That... That's not what I mean.

It's Darren.

Darren, where are you, man?

Hey, man, I'm... I'm running

a little late. I'm at my mom's house.

What do you mean

you're at your mom's house?

I, uh, got a little delayed.

I'll be at... I'll be at the motel soon.

Well, then, who the f*** is with Ellie?

All right, here they come.

Whoa. She's clearly running the family.

Yeah, he looks like

he'd be lost without her.

And you know what he does

when he's lost.

Calls the police.

All right, hopefully she left

the briefcase inside.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

That's not the woman with the green bag.

What do you mean?

She was like, I don't know,

30 years younger.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Sh*t.

- What if she locked it?

- You just saw her not lock the door.

The whole point of living out here

is so they don't have to worry

about people like us.

All right, all right.

- Hey!

- Take it.

- Hey, is this her?

- Yeah, that's her.

- I guess it's the daughter.

- But she had the pills.

I don't know, they must be her mom's.

Come on.

There's a computer. Boom. All right.

So, I just put their last name

into their email

and... and something should come up.

Wait, how do I spell it?

- W-E-I-R-E...

- I-R... Wierengo. I got it.

All right.

We got Dave Wierengo,

we got Eric Wierengo.

Vinessa Wierengo,

with an "I" in the Vinessa.

- Where?

- After the "V."

"Hey, Mom, do you remember

the name of the hotel?"

Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah...

All right!

- What?

- We got it.

"Vinessa Wierengo, Marketing Coordinator.

Annabella Advisors, 242 West 30th Street."

- Oh, my God!

- Yes! All right!

All right, I'm...

I'm gonna go change.

Why, what? What do you mean change?

Because I feel f***in' filthy.

Just go grab some food.

- All right. Yeah.

- Okay?

Let's do it!

Hey, you in there?

We should probably get out of here.

Yeah. Just a minute.

Hey. Put this on.

Sure.

Come on. Let's go.

So, what do you think?

About what?

About my mustache.

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe you looked better with it.

You look great.

At least better than whatever

was going on there before.

And I'm sure all the girls

in your building will love it.

I don't want the girls in my building.

Is my mom there?

Or can you put my brother on?

They're fine.

Just give me the address.

Vinessa Wierengo,

Annabella Advisors.

Vinessa Wierengo, Annabella Advisors.

- 242 West 30th Street.

- 242 West 30th Street. Got it.

And that's... that's with an "I"

after the "V" in Vinessa.

It's not Vanessa.

- Just sit tight.

- Okay.

I'll send guys over.

If she leaves, stay with her.

She wants to know

about the money.

What about the money?

She'll get what we agreed to.

I want you to go to them,

then meet Scott outside the motel.

Oh, and Darren,

what me and Ellie agreed to...

she's taking your share.

I gotta take a sh*t.

Uh, yeah, Annabella Advisors.

Uh, 242 West 30th Street.

Hello.

Annabella Advisors.

Could you connect me

with, uh, Vinessa Winergo, please?

Uh, yes. Wierengo. Please hold.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes