Transformers Page #3

Let's go call your mom.

Oh, no, no, that... No.

That wasn't like a real tryout.

I was researching a book I was writing.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Yeah? What's it about?

Sucking at sports?

No, it's about the link between

brain damage and football.

No, it's a good book.

Your friends'll love it.

You know, it's got mazes in it and,

you know, little coloring areas,

sections, pop-up pictures.

It's a lot of fun.

That's funny.

Okay, okay. You know what? Stop.

Hey, guys, I know of a party.

Let's go, let's head.

You got to get out

of the tree right now. Get...

Just get out of the tree

right now, please.

What are you doing?

Did you see that dismount?

All the chicks were watching.

You're making me look like an idiot.

We both looked like idiots just now.

- Hey, how about you let me drive?

- Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not a toy.

These 22s, I don't want you

grinding them. No.

Why doesn't my little bunny

just hop in the back seat?

God, I can't even tell you how much

I'm not your little bunny.

Okay.

You'll call me.

Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?

Hey, man, what's wrong

with your radio?

- I'm gonna drive her home tonight.

- What?

She's an evil jock concubine, man.

Let her hitchhike.

She lives 10 miles from here, okay?

It's my only chance.

You got to be understanding

here, all right?

All right. We'll put her in the back.

I'll be quiet.

- Did you say, "Put her in the back"?

- I called shotgun.

I'm not putting her in the back.

You got to get out of my car.

- That's a party foul.

- What rules?

Bros before hos.

Miles, I'm begging you to get out

of my car. Okay?

You can't do this to me.

You got to get out of my car right now.

Who's gonna come around

when you break?

Mikaela! It's Sam.

Witwicky.

I hope I didn't get you

stranded or anything.

You sure?

So, listen, I was wondering

if I could ride you home.

I mean, give you a ride home

in my car, to your house.

There you go.

So...

I can't believe that I'm here right now.

You can duck down if you want.

I mean, it won't hurt my feelings.

Oh, no, no, no.

I didn't mean here with you.

I just meant here, like, in this situation,

this same situation that I'm always in.

'Cause, I don't know, I guess I just

have a weakness for hot guys,

for tight abs and really big arms.

Big arms?

Well, there's a couple new additions

in the car.

Like, I just put in that light there.

And that disco ball. And so the light

reflects off the disco ball.

Yeah.

Are you new to school this year?

It's your first year here?

Oh, no, no.

We've been in the same school

since first grade.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Yeah, a long time.

Well, do we have any classes together?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Really? Which?

History. Language arts. Math. Science.

- Sam.

- Sam. Yeah.

- Sam Wilkicky.

- Witwicky.

God, you know what? I'm so sorry.

I just...

- No, it's cool.

- I just didn't recognize you.

Yeah, well, I mean,

that's understandable.

No, no, no. No. Come on.

Sorry, I'm just working out the kinks.

You know, it's a new car.

When I get that feeling

I want sexual healing

This radio is, like, you know...

It's an old radio, too, so...

Sexual healing

Look, this isn't something that I,

you know...

I can't get this radio to stop.

Look, I wouldn't try this on you.

'Cause this is like a romantic thing

that I'm not trying to do.

Not that you're not worthy

of trying something like this on.

- No, of course not.

- I'm a friend of yours.

I'm not a romantic friend.

Romantic friends do this.

I mean, I'm not that friend.

I mean, we... I could be.

I feel good

Just pop the hood.

Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Whoa, nice headers.

You've got a high-rise

double-pump carburetor.

That's pretty impressive, Sam.

Double-pump?

It squirts the fuel in

so you can go faster.

I like to go faster.

And it looks like

your distributor cap's a little loose.

Yeah? How'd you know that?

My dad. He was a real grease monkey.

He taught me all about this.

I could take it all apart, clean it,

put it back together.

That's weird.

I just wouldn't peg you for mechanical.

Oh, my God.

Well, you know,

I don't really broadcast it.

Guys don't like it when you know

more about cars than they do.

Especially not Trent. He hates it.

Yeah, no, I'm cool with, you know,

females working on my engine.

I prefer it, actually.

- Okay. You want to fire it up for me?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem.

- Thanks.

- You know, I was thinking.

You know, if Trent's such a jerk,

why do you hang out with him?

You know what? I'm just...

I'm gonna walk.

Good luck with your car.

All right.

Walking's healthy, right?

Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Come on, please.

Please, you gotta work for me now.

Don't let her walk away. Come on,

come on, come on. Please, please.

Baby come back

any kind of fool could see

Hey!

There was something

in everything about you

Baby come back

you can blame it all on me

Hey!

Wait a second!

I was wrong

and I just can't live without you

There it is.

I had fun.

So, you know, thanks for listening.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- You... You think I'm shallow?

I think you're... No, no, no.

I think there's a lot more

than meets the eye with you.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right, I'll see you at school.

All right.

That's stupid.

That was a stupid line.

"There's more than meets

the eye with you." Stupid.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. I love my car.

Hey, guys, I think the other team

figured it out. Iran.

Come on, man. This is way too smart

for Iranian scientists.

- Think about it.

- What do you think, kid? Chinese?

No way. This is nothing like

what the Chinese are using.

This is Air Force One.

Level of flight, level three-three-zero.

We will hunt down this enemy.

And when we do,

we'll know just what to do with them.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Apparently, there are

very few survivors.

Yes, Mr. President?

Yeah, can you wrangle me up

some Ding Dongs, darling?

I joined the Air Force to bring the man

Ding Dongs. I'll be in storage.

Shoot.

Gross.

Do you hear that?

Are you getting this?

I think they're hacking

the network again.

Oh, my God. This is a direct match

to the signal in Qatar.

- Are you running a diagnostic?

- Should I be?

- Yes, you should.

- So I am.

Someone!

They're hacking into Air Force One!

We need a senior analyst.

- I think they're planting a virus.

- A virus?

- It's streaming right now.

- They are planting a virus

and stealing a whole lot of data

from your system at the same time.

Code Red. We have a breach.

Air Force One, someone onboard

has breached the military network.

I'm in the cargo hold. Clear. Clear.

- You got to cut the hard lines.

- What?

- Whatever they want, they are getting it.

- Sir?

Permission to take down

the Defense Network.

- Cut all server hard lines now.

- Cut all server hard lines now.

Someone's tampered

with the POTUS mainframe.

What the...

Shots fired in the underdeck.

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