Transformers Page #5

There's only one hacker in the world

who can break this code.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Stop!

I am sorry to bother you.

- Maggie?

- Listen, I need your help.

No! This is my private area,

my place of Zen and peace.

- Listen to me.

- Glen! Who is it?

Shut up, Grandma!

- What are you doing here?

- Just give me a break, will you, please?

Grandmama! Drink your prune juice!

- What level are you on, man?

- Six.

Oh, here come the matrix!

Here come the matrix!

Glen, seriously, don't you

want to see something classified?

Yeah. Get low.

- Here we go. Here we go. Double tap.

- Hey, I just paused it. I just paused it.

Hey. I need a moment.

- Please.

- Sorry.

Hey, man, save my game.

How classified?

Like "I will go to jail for the rest of

my life for showing you" classified.

Yes! One quick peek.

Special Ops got a thermal snapshot

of whatever hit the base in Qatar.

- I want to see it.

- Well, the imager was damaged, sir.

The rangers are en route

with the imager,

but we also have a security issue.

Circle logs indicate one of

the analysts made a copy

of the network intrusion signal.

The signal strength is through the roof.

Where did you say you got this?

It hacked the national military

air-guard frequency

in less than a minute.

- No way.

- Yeah.

Looks like there's a message embedded

in the signal. Let me work my magic.

"Project Iceman"?

- What's Sector Seven?

- Who is Captain Witwicky?

Are you playing

those video games again?

Cops! Cops!

FBI! Clear right!

Lock it down! Lock it down!

Cops!

Lock it down.

Wait! I'm just a cousin! I'm just a...

Get off my Grandmama's carpet!

She don't like nobody on the carpet!

Especially police!

It was an awesome spectacle here

an hour ago

when over 40 C-17 s lifted off

of this very base.

We're not told where they're going.

Morning, Mo.

The government has been very quiet

about what's going on but in our...

- Mojo. Mojo.

- They were headed directly

towards North Korea.

Stop with the barking, Mojo.

It's too early. Please?

Miles? Miles, listen to me. Listen.

- My car, it stole itself, okay?

- What are you talking about, man?

Satan's Camaro. In my yard.

It's stalking me.

Stop!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my God!

Sam?

Hi.

That was... That was really awesome.

- Well, it felt awesome.

- Are you okay?

I'm not okay, all right?

I'm losing my mind a little bit.

I'm getting chased by my car right now.

I got to go.

You know what?

I'm gonna catch up with you guys later.

Oh, great. Cops.

Officer!

Listen!

Oh, that hurt.

Listen to me!

Thank God you're here!

I've had the worst day ever!

I've been... I've been followed here

on my mother's bike! Right?

And my car's right there

and it's been following me here!

So get out of the car! No! Stop!

Oh, God. Okay, okay! Okay, all right!

Okay! I'm sorry! I'm...

I didn't mean to hit your car! Look!

Okay, look, look, look! Stop, stop!

Please! Okay,

what do you want from me?

Okay.

Oh, God, no! No!

Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Oh, God! Oh, sh*t!

It's a bad dream.

Are you username LadiesMan217?

I don't know what you're talking about!

Are you username LadiesMan217?

Yeah.

Where is eBay item 21153?

Where are the glasses?

Get back!

Stop!

God!

What is your problem, Sam?

Okay, there's a monster right there!

It just attacked me!

Here he comes! All right, get up.

Get up and run! You have to run! Okay.

Sam, what is that thing?

- You have to get in the car. Get in.

- I don't want to.

- Get in the car. Trust me. Trust me!

- Sam.

Get in! Go, go, go, go, go.

Go, go, go, go!

Oh, God! We're gonna die!

We're gonna die!

No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die.

- Oh, my God!

- Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver!

Oh, my God! No!

We're gonna die!

Oh, my God!

We're locked in.

The car won't start.

At least we ditched the monster, right?

Okay.

Time to start.

He's got me! Oh, God!

He's going to kill me!

No. No, no, no!

Get off!

Kill it! Kill it!

Get it, get it, get it, get it!

Not so tough without a head, are you?

Here, come on.

What is it?

It's a robot.

But like a...

Like a different...

You know, like a super-advanced robot.

It's probably Japanese.

Yeah, it's definitely Japanese.

What are you doing?

I don't think it wants to hurt us.

It would have done that already.

Really? Well, do you speak robot?

Because they just had, like,

a giant droid death match.

- I think it wants something from me.

- What?

Well, 'cause the other one was

talking about my eBay page.

You are the strangest boy

I have ever met.

- Can you talk?

- XM Satellite Radio...

Digital cable brings you...

... Columbia Broadcasting System...

So you... You talk through the radio?

Thank you, you're beautiful.

You're wonderful, you're wonderful.

So, what was that last night?

What was that?

Message from Starfleet, Captain...

Throughout the inanimate vastness

of space...

Angels will rain down

like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah!

Visitors from heaven? What...

What are you,

like, an alien or something?

Any more questions you want to ask?

He wants us to get in the car.

And go where?

Fifty years from now,

when you're looking back at your life,

don't you want to be able to say

you had the guts to get in the car?

This car's a pretty good driver.

I know.

Why don't you go sit in that seat, there?

I'm not going to sit in that seat.

He's driving.

Yeah.

You're right.

- Well, maybe you should sit in my lap.

- Why?

Well, I have the only seat belt here.

You know, safety first.

- Yeah, all right.

- Right?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

There, see? That's better.

- Okay.

- Okay.

You know, that seat belt thing was

a pretty smooth move.

Thank you.

You know what I don't understand?

Why, if he's supposed to be, like,

this super-advanced robot,

does he transform back

into this piece-of-crap Camaro?

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, see? No. Get...

No, that doesn't work. See?

Move it, you moron!

Great, now... See?

Fantastic.

Now you pissed him off.

That car is sensitive.

I mean, $4000 just drove off.

What?

This is you...

Oh, my God!

Come on, let's go.

This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!

Explosions everywhere!

This is easily a hundred times cooler

than Armageddon. I swear to God!

Fire, fire, fire, fire!

Whoa! Sweet!

Oh, dude, I hope this guy's got

asteroid insurance,

'cause he is so boned!

What is that?

There's something in the tree, dude.

No, there's something

in the thing by the tree!

Could you guys just give me

a space rock?

Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy?

Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing

out here by yourself?

Holy God! What happened to the pool?

Are you Samuel James Witwicky,

descendent of Archibald Witwicky?

They know your name.

Yeah.

My name is Optimus Prime.

We are autonomous robotic organisms

from the planet Cybertron.

- But you can call us Autobots for short.

- Autobots.

- What's cracking, little b*tches?

- My first lieutenant. Designation, Jazz.

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes