Treasure of Matecumbe Page #2

There you go, boys. Straight back

there, right through the passage.

Any spot that looks

comfortable. Howdy, folks.

Is that where he lives, Friars Point?

Uncle Jim never stays anywhere long,

but that's where he was last

time he wrote Aunt Effie.

- She calls him a black sheep.

- You think your uncle'll help you?

Sure, if he's not too busy.

I guess my Uncle Jim can

do just about anything.

- Anything?

- That's what I said, anything.

Suppose he meant here?

I've slept on worse than this before.

Hey!

Little boys who know

what's good for them

do not sit on bales of cotton

spying on ladies what's hiding.

- We wasn't.

- We didn't even know you were here.

Just a minute. I'm Captain

Boomer. Your fares, please.

I believe my sister's aboard this boat.

Not having had the

pleasure, I couldn't say.

She's about five foot six.

She's wearing a wedding dress.

No one wearing a wedding

dress boarded this boat.

She wouldn't buy a ticket from the

clerk, you fool. She's a stowaway.

She hasn't got a cent. She's

trying to get to New Orleans.

If I find her, she'll be

put ashore like any stowaway.

Meanwhile, you have exactly

two minutes before we cast off.

Not till I've found

that handful, you're not.

- Is the big ugly one your husband?

- No. And he's not going to be.

I don't care how much

money that Yankee's got.

They come looking for you in here,

they're gonna find you for sure.

I know. We'll hide you

in with the animals.

- I couldn't.

- If you don't, you gonna get married.

Lauriette might have

had a change of heart.

Nonsense. She's nervous. Women

are like that on their wedding day.

Did you see a lady in a wedding

dress come through here? Answer me.

What would a lady be doing

down here? And let go of my arm!

We should get back to the guests

and explain the postponement.

To blazes with the guests!

What about back there?

Most brides would be rather

conspicuous among the livestock.

But, then, I have never

seen your sister, sir.

- Look, sir...

- Let's look upstairs.

Not unless you buy

passage as far as Coahoma,

otherwise you're going ashore,

as we're shoving off immediately.

- They're gone.

- Oh.

Oh.

Lord!

Something old, something new.

If you want it, nanny,

it's yours to chew.

I presume... one can get to

the ladies' cabin from here.

If that don't beat all.

Could at least say good day.

We're gonna get in trouble

for being up here, Davie.

They can always send us downstairs.

Hey, Thad, look!

Hey, ain't that that same lady?

Yeah. What's she doing in there?

I'm looking to win it on the up and up.

Very good, sir. Now, watch closely as

I take two red aces and the baby card.

I pick 'em up slowly,

put 'em down on the table,

as all I want you to do is

to tell me where's the baby?

He picks the middle

card. I'm sorry, sir.

You were close. It was

right beside the baby card.

Don't be afraid to bet. If you don't

speculate, you can't accumulate.

I don't take bets from paupers,

strippers or grandmothers.

Well, since I'm none of those,

would it be permissible if I bet?

Unless, of course, Captain, you

have some regulations against it.

Of course not. It's just

that we rarely have the ladies

visit us here on the Texas deck.

And... what game is this?

This is a very simple game.

It's called three-card monte.

I plainly display these three

cards, two red aces and a baby card.

I take 'em and I place them on

the table face down like that.

Then I rearrange them thusly.

This is not a trick or a humbug.

It's all on the up and up.

The idea of the game is for you to

see if you can pick out the baby card.

And if you pick out the baby card,

if your eye is faster than my hand,

you're gonna take all my money.

Oh, that does look like fun.

How much would you like to bet?

Make it easy on yourself, lady.

How much would you like to bet?

Make it easy on yourself, lady.

Well, I have no idea.

Is 500 dollars enough?

500! She don't have no 500 dollars.

She don't have no five cents.

I'll have to see the

color of your money.

And, remember, them Jeff Davis dollars

don't go very far these days. Ha-ha-ha.

Sir, you are addressing a Southern lady.

I have never had anyone

before question my veracity.

The loser better be able to pay up.

All cheaters and welshers on my boat,

Southern ladies or not,

get put off on a sand bar.

- You see that?

- That must be the baby card.

She'll never find it now.

She gonna be in big trouble

when she can't pay up.

All right, now. Now

you watch real close.

I'm gonna do it real slow for you

because you're such a pretty lady.

I'm gonna put 'em

down like that so slow.

All I want you to do is to

tell me where's the baby?

Oh.

Oh, well, let me see, now. Um...

That... No. Uh, this one.

Oh, I just can't bring myself to look.

Why don't you turn over

the other two cards?

That's not the way the

game is played, lady.

Well...

If this is... is an ace!

And if this... is an ace!

Then the third card has to be a baby.

It's just simple logic, isn't it?

Sir, if I understand the

game, you owe me 500 dollars.

Isn't this exciting?

This diamond ring is worth

well over 100 dollars.

It'll more than take

care of the balance.

Oh, no. I hate to do that to you.

Course, I'd hate to have

you put off on a sand bar.

Now, why don't we show these

gentlemen the baby card?

No, no, no. We don't have to do that.

Well, gentlemen, game is over. Good day.

Captain, I've been meaning to talk

to you about my accommodations.

I'd like something a little bigger.

Of course. Say, by any

chance, you wouldn't be...

No, I wouldn't be.

Bye! Bye! Bye.

Bye now. Bye.

My map! Hey, give me that back!

Give me that! It's mine! Help! Thief!

No!

Stop! Thief! He's got my money!

Somebody stop him! Help! Help!

He stole my money!

- Robber! Thief!

- Hey, hold on. What are you doing?

Help!

Don't worry! I'm coming!

- Davie! Look out!

Here I am, 50 miles from Scott Junction,

with a dress that looks

like a pot cleaner,

to say nothing of my 400 dollars.

Just floated all away.

And all because of some

cursed quirk of fate

that keeps having me thrown

in with the two of ya.

We were just trying to save you.

Two cannonballs would

have been more help.

What were you two doing

on that boat anyway?

- We were going to a key.

- Down by Florida.

That's all we can tell you.

Now, I've had enough of this nonsense.

Look at me. I want you to look at

me and give me some straight answers.

If you put on some clothes,

we could look at you.

Well, never mind about that. What

were you two doing on that river?

So we switched to old man Snyder's

boat before Spangler could catch us.

- Spangler?

- The devil hisself.

Do you still have this map?

- The rouster threw it overboard.

- What was it a map of?

- We can't tell you that, ma'am.

- It's for your own good.

But since you tried to help

us and you lost all your money,

if we find what we're looking for,

we'll see you're amply rewarded.

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