Trick Page #2

Oh, babe, you scared me.

l hope you're not allergic.

Why are you here?

l left three messages.

l'm using your computer,

updating my rsum.

What are you guys up to?

Just hanging out.

Oh, uh, well,

l need to get to my show...

as soon as this

is done printing.

ls this a bad idea?

No, no. lt's a good idea.

Really.

Hi. l'm Katherine Lamberg.

l'm an actress.

We don't have any chairs, so...

Maybe l should go.

This won't take too long.

How many rsums

are you printing?

A hundred and fifty.

l'm in an all-female production

of ''Salome''...

set in a women's penitentiary.

lt's non-equity.

That sounds great.

Really?

l'm a slave, but l understudy

John the Baptist.

There's a performance tonight

at midnight.

Maybe you could come

with Gabriel.

Maybe. Uh...

You two are roommates?

But we're very close.

l even take care of his dog.

Trixie.

l live with this guy--Rich.

He's straight.

Gabe, l talked to my mother.

She called you

my boyfriend again.

lsn't that funny?

That's funny.

She still calls you that...

even though we haven't been

dating since high school.

We weren't really dating.

Ask anyone from El Camino.

They'll say we were.

We went to one prom

back when l thought l was--

Thought he liked girls then.

And l was always wondering

why l was making the first move.

l thought it was me.

l told my mother Gabriel's gay.

And she was, like,

''Oh, really? You never said.''

l was, like, ''Didn't l mention

he's a musical theater writer?

''Hello! Do l have

to spell it out for you?''

That was a million years ago.

You know what Gabe

used to call me?

Puss. You're so kooky.

l had this James Bond thing,

you know, uh...

Octopussy, P*ssy Galore.

Hmm. l didn't like it

when other people said it...

but it was OKwhen Gabe

called me Puss or Puss-Puss...

or P*ssy.

Actually,

l didn't really like P*ssy.

Do you have any nicknames?

Beer Can.

Did you used to drink a lot

in college?

Gabe's writing a part for me

in his musical--the maid.

lt's actually a very big part.

lt's really good.

l sing all his songs.

He's a wonderful writer.

You're so very talented.

l don't know how l feel about

writing musicals right now.

l just know you're gonna be

the next Andrew Lloyd Webber...

or Stephen Sondheim

or something.

l spent the last eight years

of my life writing...

in a genre that's been dying

a slow death since ''Gypsy.''

He's a golden boy.

He really is.

You love musicals.

l used to.

Musicals are way too contrived

and phony and campy and stupid.

l don't even know

why l write them.

You write songs?

The music, too?

And you...play the piano?

Let's do a number!

Just one. He'll love it.

His songs are so great.

Katherine, l don't think that

Mark's interested in my songs.

Do one.

Really?

Yeah.

l'd like to hear one.

See?

All right. One number,

and then you're leaving.

-Cross your heart?

-Cross my heart.

God, l have to get

to my show anyway.

Oh, this is so fun.

l tell ya, if Harold Prince

heard this...

l've heard that

all the world's a stage

And we are only players

Acting out

some predetermined page

But it is lonely as can be

With nobody opposite me

Then

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

God, l'm sorry, but that dog...

You sing.

No, l sing his songs.

You were singing with her.

-l was?

-Yeah. Sing it.

Well, Katherine usually--

l'll sing along with you.

Let him do it alone.

l heard that

all the world's a st--

No. Just where she left off.

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

You brought the house down

With a dance and a dum-diddy

Enter you

ln less than no time

l, uh, still have

to figure out this part.

Up went the curtain

l've got it.

Perry.

How's it going?

l was feeling, you know,

a little torchy...

a little chanteusey, so l

stumbled into a piano bar...

and thought l'd belt out

some of my better numbers...

for a bunch of boozy

old fairies.

l knew you wouldn't want

to miss that.

Wow. Thanks, but Katherine's

opening in a show tonight.

Oh, l understand.

But, you know, you could stop by

later, after her show.

l'll probably be here

till pretty late.

You know where

Eighty-eight's is, right?

Yeah. lt's around the corner

from that play you took me to.

-The one with--

-Greg Louganis, right.

-Right.

-Great.

Friend.

You should sing more.

Thanks.

lt's done.

No, it's not.

lt ran out of paper.

lt's done.

Can you see me out?

Babe...

He's a go-go boy.

Well, l'm going.

Your name's on the comp list.

You're gonna be there, right?

Yeah. And Rich

is coming back soon. OK?

-One or two?

-What?

One or two tickets?

Well, is the go-go boy

coming to my show?

l don't know.

Put me down for one.

Hmm. You know,

now that my show's opening...

l won't have

to rehearse so much.

Maybe we can finally go see

Helen Reddy sing...

and get a baked Alaska.

-OK, great.

-Great.

Bye, babe.

Finally.

You're really cute.

Maybe if l played the piano,

l could relax.

Whatever.

Keep playing.

Oh, my God.

Feel good?

Do you like that?

All right.

And...

What if you...

went over here?

Where?

Down here.

There? What do you want me to do

down there?

l've always wanted someone

to go down on me...

while l was playing the piano.

Oh, my God, l can't believe

l just told you that.

l've never told anyone that.

You want to do it?

l'll just scoot out

so you can get in.

Uh...just a sec.

Yeah, girl.

Backyard.

Out in the backyard.

Good girl, Trixie.

l'm sorry.

Are you uncomfortable?

lt's OK.

What?

l don't know what to play.

Does it matter?

Sorry.

Do you like show tunes?

Uh, l'm a little too nervous

to play classical.

lt's your fantasy.

Well, in my fantasy,

l take requests.

Sh*t!

Get dressed.

Gabriel, you just got music

in your bones.

What's going on?

l need the apartment.

Mark wanted to hear my songs.

And...you're early.

And...l need the apartment.

She's been in France all summer.

Yeah, and you're early.

And l told you l needed

the apartment tonight.

Can we talk about this

in the bathroom?

What's Trixie doing

on the fire escape?

Please. l only need an hour.

Please, please, please, Rich...

'cause l really, really want

to do this.

l'm really, really into him...

and it's not like l get

to do this very often.

And l slept out in the hall

last night.

Will you--Shh!

What Judy and l have is special.

Special?

And l get the impression

that you disrespect...

the love that Judy and l share,

and that hurts.

l expect it from my parents.

They don't know.

But you?

You of all people, l thought

you would understand.

This is really hard for me.

l don't know how to meet people.

l get really weird...

and l make it more important

than it should be.

Can't you do it tomorrow night?

She's been in France all summer.

You can't ask a one-night stand

to come back tomorrow night!

Let's flip for it.

Sh*t.

-Flip?

-Yeah, flip.

Heads.

No! Tails!

l have a token.

What are you looking for?

Condom.

You want ''New York City

Transit Authority''...

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