Trick Page #6

but the bathroom door's locked,

so l'm kind of standing there.

l'm looking at the wallpaper,

which was giving me a headache.

Then the toilet flushes.

The door opens,

and the sh*t guy walks out...

and he's smiling.

Not one of those polite

acknowledgment smiles.

He's smiling,

like he's happy about something.

All of a sudden,

l didn't have to pee anymore.

How's everything?

Fine.

Everything's fine.

Want to hear the audition

monologue l'm working on?

No, l have new intentions.

-You really don't get it.

-What?

You have been monopolizing

this entire conversation...

since we got here.

Look, you're my best friend.

You know l love you...

but right now, l don't want

to hear your audition monologue.

l didn't come here

to have you sit down...

invite yourself over,

and talk about sh*t.

l was just talking.

l know, but--

Why are you being such a jerk

all of a sudden?

Yeah.

Sh*t's funny.

Sh*t's sh*t. Give it a rest,

you Nancy priss ass...

and let us enjoy ourselves.

l promise l'll call tomorrow.

l promise l'll see your show...

but right now,

l need to be alone with Mark.

Please, don't ruin this for me.

What are you trying to say?

Go someplace else.

Take your girlfriends.

Practice your audition monologue

on them--

whatever--but please just go.

You know, every time

that you insinuate...

that l should sleep with women,

l feel like--

-l didn't mean that.

-l don't know.

l feel like l have to respond

respectfully...

because l don't want you

to think...

that l think that it's wrong

or bad or nasty.

But you bring it up

every five minutes.

lt's the most annoying thing

about you.

Don't get upset.

l don't want

to sleep with women!

l'm sorry, Gwen.

l can't tell you why.

You're not that way, that's why.

-Katherine--

-Yes, l can.

l can.

This may be hard

for you to believe, gay boy...

but l am heterosexual.

There are such things as

heterosexuals in this world...

and l am one of them.

But you won't listen to me.

You won't drop the subject.

Just because

it bothers you so much...

it's obvious you have lesbian

issues you're afraid to face.

l have lesbian issues?

l don't have lesbian anything!

God, it's like when my dad asked

why l won't move to New Jersey.

What?

lt'd take me an hour and a half

to get to an audition.

Can you imagine my dad saying,

''l can tell by your reaction...

''there's a part of you

that wants to move...

''but you're afraid to face it''?

Holy wow.

Doesn't anybody here get it?

l'm not a lesbian, l don't

want to move to New Jersey...

and where's the cheese

on these goddamn f***ing fries?

Can you let me out?

Hey, Puss.

l'm sorry, babe.

l'm sorry that l got so mad.

Well, l'm sorry.

lt...

lt's my fault.

Maybe l am a dyke.

l don't know.

lt'd be a whole lot easier

to get a date.

Come here.

Oh, God.

Why can't you be straight?

You don't like any straight men.

l don't know any straight men.

Kath, are you OK?

Oh, yeah, l'm fine.

You owe me four dollars

for the French fries.

We're going to my place to watch

a video of tonight's show.

Do you want to go?

Sure. One second.

You better get back inside.

l'm going to put your name

on the comp list for tomorrow.

l'll be there.

You better, motherf***er.

Tonight's been a mess.

But, you know,

some of the mess...

l did have

a good time tonight...

even though, you got to admit

it was really a mess.

You know, l would've invited you

back to my place, but--

Aw, it's all right.

Don't worry about it.

No. l would have, but...

the lady l told you about...

She's my mother.

l live at home.

Thank you.

l have to pee.

Me, too.

We're alone.

Yeah, finally.

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

l hear the music of a

Dance and a dum-diddy

Enter you

You're singing it wrong.

What?

Don't sing it.

lt's a good song.

Shut up.

Well, it is.

You're being polite.

Shut up.

You really think so?

Yeah. lt's really good.

Enter you

That's all l know.

You have to teach me the rest.

l need a piano.

We've already established that.

You know, l think it's good

how this turned out.

You do?

Yeah. We got the hard part

over with.

Oh, what about the sex?

What kind of a girl

do you think l am?

Hey, this is Mark.

You got me.

Leave a message.

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

You brought the house down

With a dance and a dum-diddy

Enter you

ln less than no time

This ugly drama

Has become

Pretty

Up went the curtain

My lines felt wrong

lntermission seemed so far away

Applause uncertain

The scenes too long

Life was like

an uninspiring play

But now you're here

We meet stage center

l thought my story line

was through

Then from the blue

Enter

You

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