Tromeo and Juliet Page #2

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I'll kill him.

I'll kill them all.

Where is my bow?

Where did you put my bow?

Not my violin bow,

stupid, my crossbow.

There it is.

You pieroni piece of crap.

You f***.

How would you like me

to use your guts

to Jackson Pollock

the street, huh?

MURRAY:
(Imitating Cappy)

Jackson Pollock the street.

-Holy sh*t, run!

-Go, go, go.

(Laughter)

After so long, Monty's still

making them hate us.

Oh, Cap, sometimes I think

we should have never did

what we done.

We?

What do you mean by this

"we" sh*t, Ingrid?

You know as well as I do that

that was your f***-up, not mine.

Oh, my arm.

(Biffing)

(Juliet singing)

(Glass shattering)

(Ingrid screaming)

INGRID:
No!

No!

Juliet.

If you keep

forgetting to turn this off,

you're gonna burn down

the whole house.

Let it burn.

I can't stand the noises,

Ness, every single night.

Then don't listen.

At least tonight it's not you.

Your mother sent me

to pick up some clean dresses.

Why would I need dresses

since Dad never lets me

leave the house?

Oh.

You smell like food.

What'd you make for dinner?

Well, if you keep missing dinner

your parents are gonna fire me.

But for the record, roast beef.

Eww.

How many times I have

told you that cows scream

on their way

to the slaughter house?

You know, exactly

what's going on.

Spare me the vegetarian lecture

and spare yourself, too.

Soon you're going to be

married to the king

of cold cuts.

It will all make sense.

You know I don't love London.

You know Dad

forced me to say yes.

He just wants to get his hands

on the Arbuckle's fortune.

And I don't care.

At least if I marry London,

I won't have to go back in

the time out room anymore.

So it doesn't matter

if I don't love him.

I really never loved anybody.

Let me ease your pain.

(Computer beeping)

Ness, sometimes

when you touch me,

I dream about men.

It's okay to dream.

Not in this house.

It'll almost make you die.

WOMAN:
(On computer) To make

your choice of our many

lovely girls please press

one of the following keys.

If you like eating sh*t

and drinking piss

there's only one

choice there, it's "K."

But if you want a wild time

with a very young girl--

You chose "true love."

Please hold on for one moment.

Hello, you are so handsome.

I really love you.

NESS:
Mmm, saucy girl.

(Indistinct) For such

merchandise.

Would you like to get married?

Married, then you

could see my bosom.

They love you too.

Go ahead, you could touch them.

I will suckle a many

happy children.

Will you be my husband?

(Moaning)

-I love you.

TROMEO:
I love you too.

I love you.

I love you too.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

I love you.

I love you too.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

I love you.

Listen, Oslo,

of course we hate old Cap.

Ever since

we've been little cats,

I have noticed that you often

know more than you show.

So, how did it start and where?

How's your uncle a part of it?

Once, man, they were friends.

My uncle had a business,

films.

Called Silky films.

They catered to the Art Crowd.

French babes, soft focus,

lots of sheer curtains,

classy stuff.

He and Capulet,

they'd been friends for years.

Came up together

from the suburbs of Jersey.

The profits were good,

Que brought Cap aboard.

But right after that,

the game got rough.

Cap took all Monty's

rights to Silky films.

Between you and me,

there was blackmail involved.

MARTINI:
Blackmail?

BENNY:
Yeah.

Monty signed over

all records and checks

without so much

as a protest or a plea.

The way it looks

on paper and in books,

they say he gave

his life's work away for free.

Cocksucker stole

a good man's whole life.

And you should see the trash

that silky puts out now.

The worst motherfucking

films in the world.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wasn't there more to that story?

Wasn't there something going on

between Cappy's wife and Monty?

They had a lot more than

something going on.

They were married.

While Cap was

stealing the business

he also made a play

for Monty's wife Ingrid.

That b*tch then stuck

a knife in Tromeo's dad.

A divorce right

when he was found.

In my book she is

just as bad

as that

ugly sadistic clown.

Shortly after that,

Cap married Ingrid

and Monty married Tromeo's mom

and the lines have been

drawn ever since.

And who was Tromeo's mom?

Shut up.

I told you way

too f***ing much already.

This is just between you and me.

Keep your mouth shut

around Tromeo.

I had a bad dream.

How many times

have I told you...

I'm sorry.

Not to wake me up

with your goddamn screaming?

I'll be quite, I promise.

Pubescent copulators.

Leaving your sex toys

all over your room.

You have one more screaming

orgasm, young lady,

and it's the time-out

room again.

Now, are you going to be good?

Hmm?

And who are you?

Daddy's little crenshaw melon.

Who?

Daddy's little crenshaw melon.

Oh, yeah, big man.

Just beat up the blind.

Just beat up the blind girl,

that's what she's there for.

The b*tch stole my damn Harley!

God damn it!

Law abiding citizens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You and my ass

are law abiding citizens.

Real law abiding.

The feud between you two

is what started this.

I got a feeling when that stops,

I don't have

to clean up another mess

started by Que or a Capulet

or a Capulet to a Que.

Now, stumpy, you ready

to tell me who did this to you?

I dropped my popsicle down

the garbage disposer.

I didn't think before brrr.

Stupid!

That's another thing, okay.

No one, no one is speaking

one word of truth.

I'm gonna tell you what.

The next time there's blood

spilled and anyone of you,

anyone of you is there,

I don't care what I have to do,

I'll bring in a f***ing

grand jury if I have to.

I will find who's at fault.

Suppose we're free to go now?

Get out.

See that,

you foul bastard, see.

It's sick. That's your work.

My work?

Why is it my work?

You sent the boy to put

the squirrel in my place.

I sent sh*t.

MONTY:
Yes, you sent sh*t

to do a man's work.

Hey.

The only sh*t I see

is in the passenger seat.

An alcoholic, burnt-out,

scumbag loser.

Why you cocksucking--

Don't hold me, let me go.

Let me go.

Let me go, don't hold me.

-Meet my bow.

MONTY:
I'll kill the bastard.

I'll kill him. I tell you

I'll kill him. don't hold me.

Sammy, get out

of the f***ing way.

Sammy, get out of the way,

let me just shoot this mother--

Come on, out of the way.

You villainous, abominable,

kidnapper of youth!

Henry IV, act II, scene IV.

Hey...

(Sammy screaming)

Okay, Sissy, remember.

When crossing the street,

sidewalk safe, street dangerous.

BOTH:
Sidewalk safe,

street dangerous.

Very good.

Okay, okay, can I go now?

Yes, you can go.

(Screaming)

(Car honking)

(Sobbing)

MAN:
Oh, my God.

WOMAN:
Oh, God.

LEMMY:
The ball

and Tromeo's agony of bliss.

His balls be blue,

young men pray think on this.

MAN:
(On television)

This is Aaron Mason.

Tonight on the local scene,

Manhattan society

eagerly awaits the annual

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