Tromeo and Juliet Page #5

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-Forget it, Tyrone!

(Clamoring)

Get the f***--

Harry! Move it!

(Screaming)

Major pain, Murray, major!

Oh, dear, Harry, I'm sorry.

I'm very--I'm, uh, I'm sorry.

You're the one I want!

WOMAN:
F*** me. Get him!

Oh!

Oh, my God.

MAN:
Oh, man.

Come on, Ty, we got to go.

WOMAN:
Get out of here!

Let's get the f*** out of here.

VIC:
Ty, come on, we got to go.

WOMAN:
Let's get

the f*** out of here.

Come on, let's go, let's go.

Hey, Ben, I think--

Ow!

When I was a kid, right,

I stepped on a nail one time.

It went right through

the top of my foot.

I thought nothing

would ever hurt worse.

I was wrong.

Man, I got to go soon.

Do me a favor?

Would you kiss me goodbye?

What?

It's my final

f***ing request, man.

F***.

Murray was a fag.

(Police siren blaring)

Tyrone!

F***, Peter, get him!

Get ready to die,

motherf***er!

Get ready to die!

It happens to everyone

sooner or ladder!

(Women screaming)

It's another New York thing.

Look at that!

My God, stop!

Tromeo, you f***ing bastard!

Brian, you got to work hard

to get ahead in life.

(Tyrone screaming)

(Screams) My hammock!

# Found a peanut,

found a peanut just now #

# Just now I found a peanut,

found a peanut just now #

# I cracked it open,

cracked it-- #

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

BENNY:
Tromeo,

come on, little cousin.

Let's get the hell out

of here.

I'm coming, Ben!

Oh, my God.

Put it down! Put it down!

It's dirty.

Let's go.

(Kids cheering)

Oh, my knee.

Oh, it really hurts!

My knee really hurts.

F***ing a**holes!

Now you fucks

have gone too far!

Goddamn heads

bouncing off of cars

while long island families

are singing "found a peanut!"

Well, he's "found a peanut,"

all right, honey.

He's found a peanut of death!

Now tell me who did this,

tell me now

or God help me, I'll break

his f***ing nose off.

Tromeo, Tromeo Que did it.

Tromeo?

But why did he kill Tyrone?

Why?

Because

your precious c*nt Juliet

is spreading her legs

for Tromeo.

Stop it, just stop it!

Don't you know?

She's in love with a Que.

She broke off

her engagement to London.

Daddy, I'm not dressed.

Are there any boundaries

at all anymore?

Are there any lines

that can't be crossed

by your generation of freaks?

I don't know what--

Shut up!

Shut up!

I will not be undermined

in my own home.

You listen to me.

You'll never ever

see Tromeo Que again.

You may escape the cops

with him, kid,

but you can't escape me.

I'll hire as many men as it

takes,

spend every dollar I have

to get you back here

and on that altar with Arbuckle!

Who I'm calling right now.

Who you're going to tell

you have reconsidered.

Which is not up for debate.

LONDON:
Hello, Dad.

Dad, is it you?

Dad.

Police!

Open the f***ing door!

Where is he?

Where is your son?

I don't know. I don't know.

You take me.

Come on now, honey, tell London

what you just told me.

I made a mistake.

I would like you

to take me back.

If?

If you'll have me.

Of course,

I will have you, Juliet.

I love you.

Where is your cousin?

You know where he is.

-Eat me--

-Stop it!

Oh, Father, where can he be?

Come, child, I have

something to show you.

Have faith that strong

miracles can happen.

Juliet, you must have faith.

His cousin Benny called

and told me what happened.

I was waiting for him.

When you're done,

come into my office,

I have one last idea on how

to get you out of your fix

with Arbuckle.

-Juliet.

-Tromeo.

Tell me you don't hate me

because I killed Ty.

No.

It's my fault,

if it wasn't for me

he never would have

gone after you like that.

No, it's not your fault,

don't say that.

Juliet, I must leave here.

No.

The cops, the Caps,

they're all after me.

They're gonna find me soon.

Please come with me.

Oh, yes!

But I have to get London

to change his mind

about me first.

Or else he and my father

will be after us forever.

I was hardly able to live

being without you.

Your grace, I had no idea

the dancers were topless.

They did raise a lot of money

for the church, however.

Your grace, someone just

came into my office,

I'll call you right back.

Dreadful man.

-You had an idea?

-Yes.

I'm writing down

the address of a man.

His name is Fu Chang--

an herbalist.

He's run an

opium den for 30 years

in the pit of Chinatown.

Here you go.

If anyone can conjure

a way out of your fix,

it's that

old sorcerer Fu Chang.

I don't know how to thank you

for all your help.

It's its own reward, dear.

I too know what it's like

to care for somebody.

(Church bell rings)

Hurry along, girl.

Hurry along.

Hey, Wendy,

she wants to see Fu Chang.

You're Fu Chang?

I'm Fu Chang, get over it, girl.

What's that you need help with?

All right, well,

it all started when my

father and Monty Que

went to

Tromaville

High School together.

They started

the Tromaville Film Society.

It wasn't long

after that actually

that I came along

and the first thing I remember

was probably my birthday.

And I got to the street

and that's where I met

a woman outside and we came

walking up the stairs

and she told

the nice ladies with tattoos

to take me over to Fu Chang

and then you said--

Enough, enough.

Whatever the case, old Fu Chang

has got your answer.

You do?

This here

is a mixture of herbs.

And that's sure to scare the

sh*t right out of any meat freak

who admires too much

your surface.

You are not enough

the person beneath.

LEMMY:
Act V.

Juliet made over.

I'm supposed to meet

London here at noon.

He wants to see me

before we marry.

Just relax, keep an eye out

for my car outside your window.

We'll be there by 12:05.

Oh, my God.

Fu Chang ripped me off,

$100 for colored water.

Juliet?

Are you okay in there?

Yes!

Yes, I'm fine!

She must be ringing up those

1-900 lines again.

Fu Chang didn't just rip me off,

he wanted to kill me.

Oh, true about the carry,

thy drugs are quick.

Oh.

You didn't think a potion

could do what he claimed.

Now did you, Juliet?

After all

it wasn't F.D.A. approved.

You are correct, Prozac boy.

And in just a few minutes

you'll be joining us.

Of course, you won't be

as pretty as me.

It's only fair,

don't you think, Juliet?

Because of you we are dead.

You find the greatest love

the world has ever known.

And on the way we have to

pay for it with our lives!

No.

As if miss Juliet Capulet

is so all important,

and we're just little tiny ants

to be squashed.

Oh, Sammy baby,

you got that right.

-Squashed.

-Squashed!

-Squashed.

-Squashed.

-Squashed.

-Decimated!

-Squashed.

-Squashed!

No. No!

Take it fellows.

# Shall we gather

at the river #

# Where bright angel

feet have trod #

# With the crystal tide

forever #

# That flows

to the throne of God #

# Yes, we'll gather

at the river #

# The beautiful,

beautiful river #

# We gather

with the saints at the river #

# That flows

to the throne of God #

(applause)

The potion is working.

Welcome back. Welcome back.

Turkey?

Later.

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