Trouble Along the Way Page #3

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And we only hold up a gas station

once a week and in the daytime.

lt isn't as if l kept the kid up after hours.

l don't see anything humorous

about this.

l think we should continue the discussion

without the presence of the child.

- Go get your books.

- Oh, Steve.

I'll holler if l need help.

You should've hollered

before you got married.

May l have your full name, please?

Steven Aloysius Williams.

- Care for a cigarette?

- No, thank you.

lt's the kind all the doctors smoke.

- Occupation?

- Tycoon.

- What?

- Well, as l understand it...

...a tycoon is a man who has

far-flung financial operations.

During football season,

l get out a little card...

...which gives my estimate

of the numerical worth...

...of the various college teams.

lf your estimate is better than mine,

l pay as high as five to one.

During baseball season,

l do the same thing.

Of course, l've given up basketball...

...in order to maintain

a high ethical standard of my firm.

But you can still get action

on prizefighting, hockey...

...and the eight ball in the side pocket.

- l'm a tycoon.

- l don't find what you told me amusing.

ln fact, l find it a little heartbreaking.

lf there were real attachment

between you and your child...

...you would make effort to convince

the court that you're a fit parent.

- You're new on this job, Miss Singleton.

- That hardly concerns you.

lf you think you'll change the world...

...with that black book,

you're off on the wrong foot.

Carol and l are okay.

lt's you that needs help.

Tell me about myself.

Four years at finishing school, one year

at The New School for Social Research...

...no love life because you're afraid of it.

One of the generation

of young old maids.

l think l can fill in the rest

of the report myself.

Oh, why don't you get out of here

and find yourself a man?

The badge may help.

Mr. Williams,

when l first walked in here...

...my sympathies weren't entirely

with that poor child's mother.

But l'm going to do everything

l can to take Carol away...

...from these awful surroundings

and your degrading influence.

You've got nice legs too.

All clear?

Yeah.

Steve, why don't we go to a ball game?

When did you burn down the school?

Okay. But l'm only doing this for you.

Thanks, pal. Have a good lunch.

l will.

What is your price

on the Giants and the Dodgers?

Six to five and take your choice.

You take 50 bets?

Only to get rid of you.

Put my tip on the Dodgers.

l take 25 bets too.

You don't say. Excuse me.

Hello, Steve.

- Hello, Anne.

- You act a little startled.

l guess five years is a long time.

Not long enough.

Can't you ask your former wife

to take a seat?

Go ahead. You've taken everything else.

- Steve, honey.

- Hello, Bobo.

Guess l owe you a 10 spot

on the game yesterday.

- Yeah, tough luck.

- Drop by later.

l've got the money in my sugar bowl.

- Who's that?

- Bobo.

l just came to discuss visiting privileges.

Look, l told your bloodhound

and now l'm telling you...

...l wouldn't let you see Carol

for five minutes.

You don't understand.

l want you to visit me.

One thing l always liked

about you, Anne.

No razzle-dazzle,

always straight through the middle.

What about your husband, Harold?

He can still raise me to the heights

with his checkbook.

Excuse me,

does the lady wants anything?

You don't have it on the menu.

Hi, Steve.

- Hello, Beanie.

- Hi.

Oh, excuse me.

- And who is that?

- Beanie.

There's no reason for legal mess

about the kid, Steve.

All you have to do is be nice to me

and I'll withdraw my complaint.

- Go home, Anne.

- lt's very cold at home.

You'll build a fire under someone,

but not me.

Don't walk out on me twice, Steve.

You don't stand a prayer.

I'll get that kid away from you

if it takes every lawyer in New York.

Goodbye, Mrs. McCormick,

and keep the home fires burning.

Of course, he's trying to do

the best that he can.

But it's these strange notions he's getting.

Football teams.

Well, after all, when you get

to be Father Burke's age...

Pardon me, gentlemen, while l totter by.

Good morning, Father,

we were just talking about you.

Any news?

We've not yet been invited

to the Rose Bowl.

You tried your best, Father.

And no one belittles you for it.

We just love you all the more.

Peterson, is it true that before

you took holy orders...

...you were a used car salesman?

Nine o'clock.

Seems to be a difference of opinion here.

Wait, l wanna see the cuckoo come out.

I'll not question your motives, Mr. Williams,

for changing your mind.

I'll only say we are grateful

to have you with us.

l imagine you look upon St. Anthony's

as a last, desperate resort.

The bottom

of the lvy-covered barrel, Father...

...but l'm willing to give it a whirl

if you are.

Oh, no, not that one.

We've been intending to have it repaired.

Sit there, please.

Mr. Williams, you are our last resort too.

You have six months in which to help us

save our little school.

l trust you will do it

with honor and integrity.

What's the salary, Father?

l believe by skimping a little

on our school budget...

...we could afford $3000 a year.

- Who will buy his whistle?

- lt'll do.

Well, it won't, but we also provide room

and board such as it is.

Shall we close the deal?

Shouldn't we get it on paper?

That's her religion, Father.

I'll draw up a contract.

l presume you're a notary public.

This is the locker room. l was gonna

have it renovated several years ago...

...but Father Burke decided

to put the money in the chemistry lab.

Well, what kind of shape

it could have been in?

I'll fix that for you, sir.

Happens all the time.

- You really have a football team here, kid?

- Oh, sure.

- You go to the games?

- l have to, sir, l'm the captain.

Oh, Mr. Williams, this is Father Malone.

- How do you do?

- How do you do, Father?

He's coaching football, baseball, and track

in addition to teaching calculus and physics.

Glad to see you stay in training.

Well, it's one of the few worldly pleasures

we're permitted, Mr. Williams.

lf Father Peterson will excuse us,

come along.

I'll show you around my territory.

- After you.

- Thank you.

Come on, watch the hips, come on.

Now, this is our football field.

When do you pick the strawberries?

Come on in, fellas.

What system do you use?

Do unto others as you would have others

do unto you.

But usually, the others do it to us first.

l want you to meet your new coach.

He's gonna take over the spring training.

Whether there'll be any fall training or not,

only God and the provincial know.

This is Steve Williams. He's coached some

of the country's leading universities.

The short end of them.

At any rate, we're happy to have him

with us here at St. Anthony's.

Take it easy on them, coach.

They're nice boys.

- Anybody here know how to kick a football?

- Oh, l do the kicking, coach.

Well, go on out there and get off

some punts, and you backs receive.

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