Trouble Along the Way Page #5

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...and a careful avoidance of F sharp.

Let me do the worrying.

Oh, hello, Father.

Aren't you a little bit late

for school today?

Well, yes.

That's the way l look at it too,

so l figured l'd go up to Yankee Stadium.

And what are they teaching up there?

Yanks versus Cleveland. lt's a crucial.

Carol, come over here.

l wanna talk to you.

Truant officer called on me yesterday.

He seemed a little bit upset.

Well, if l had to chase kids for a living,

l couldn't sleep nights either.

l'm sure your father wants you

to have an education.

What did it ever do for him?

He worked his way through college.

For what? To coach football here

at Bankruptcy U?

l was hoping he'd help us

change all that.

ln six months?

lt takes four years

to get a decent schedule.

Four years?

lf the big teams will book you at all.

Gee, l thought everybody knew that.

Well, now you see?

lf you don't go to school, you might

grow up to be as ignorant as l am.

Look, Father, the way l see it,

all you have to learn is how to add.

So you can figure out

when people are cheating you.

l add pretty good.

You know something?

l've spent 60 years of my life in schools,

and l can't add at all.

Father, you know what's going on

this morning in the 6-B?

The kids are standing up in the aisle reading

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow at each other.

Did you ever read him?

Well, Mr. Longfellow and Cleveland

came up the same week and l...

l wonder if you could spare me

a few minutes before the game.

l'd like you to come up to my study.

- Father...

- Now, it won't take long.

lt's a crucial.

Bleacher seats go on sale at 11:00.

You know the rest

In the books you have read.

How the British regulars fired and fled.

How the farmers gave them ball for ball,

From behind each fence and farmyard wall.

Chasing the redcoats down the lane

And crossing the fields to emerge again

Under the trees at the turn of the road.

And only pausing to fire and load.

So through the night rode Paul Revere

And so through the night

Went his cry of alarm.

- What's the matter?

- l have a very important engagement.

- Right now?

- Well, l didn't realize it was so late.

l hope l haven't been boring you.

l can still make the game.

Hey, would you mind

closing the window?

Okay.

l'm very sorry, but the cardinal's

visiting New York for a short time.

- You should've had an appointment.

- l know, but a matter came up suddenly.

l thought perhaps you might be able

to squeeze me in.

Oh, excuse me, Father.

Will you see about the reservation

for Chicago?

Yes, Your Eminence.

Father Burke. Well, why didn't you tell me

he was out here?

l didn't want to disturb Your Eminence.

You're in New York so seldomly.

Oh, why all the formality, Father?

This doesn't sound like the man

who failed me in English History.

l was merely adopting the reverential

tone customary with your high office.

And if you had any real dignity,

you'd expect it.

Well, that's the Father Burke

l used to know.

May we drop you somewhere?

We have room in the car, haven't we?

I'll sit on the jump seat.

l failed in English History also.

Come on.

Father, l feel just as badly as you do

about the passing of my old school.

But that's entirely in the provincial's hands.

l can't interfere.

But if we could make St. Anthony's

pay its own way...

ln that case, it will be a pleasure

to help the provincial see the light.

What is your Machiavellian plan?

Well, my staff looks upon it

as a symptom of my senility...

...but are you familiar

with the game of football?

That brutal sport?

Oh, many universities aid themselves

financially by engaging in it.

- lndeed?

- l'd hope to do the same.

But l didn't realize the complexity

of the problems.

Do you know it takes four years

to get a decent schedule...

...if the big teams will book you at all?

How can l be of any assistance?

Well, l thought, perhaps,

you might drop a gentle hint...

...to some of our larger institutions...

...to look favorably upon the plight

of St. Anthony's.

To have them book you,

l believe you called it.

Well, l really shouldn't have asked,

but...

I'll do anything l can for you, Father.

I'll see how much influence l really have.

Here we are, Father.

l shall be eternally grateful.

- I'll never be able to thank you enough.

- Not at all.

- I'll leave you now.

- No, no, Father.

You're our guest.

Yanks versus Cleveland.

Should be a good game.

Naturally. lt's a crucial.

Hail and farewell, for none of us know...

...whether this may be the last class

to graduate from our beloved St. Anthony.

However, even should our college

be forced to close its doors, it will not die.

lt will live on in the spirit of the man...

...who's been our rector and our inspiration

for these many years.

Our own Father Burke.

Thank you, thank you.

Never have l heard such enthusiasm

for the passing of a school.

However, the end may not be as near

as Father Peterson would have you believe.

Before l launch

into my standard commencement address...

...l have here a communication

from His Eminence, the cardinal...

...which l think will interest you more.

As you all know,

His Eminence was once a student here.

As a matter of fact, he was in my class

in English History.

He was in it for some time.

''Office of His Eminence,

William Patrick O'Shea.

Dear Father Burke.

Concerning my recent appointment

as Graduate Manager of Athletics...

...of St. Anthony's College...

...l am happy to report confirmation

of the following schedule...

...for our football team for the next fall.

September the 20th,

Santa Carla University.

September the 27th, Holy Cross.

October the fourth, Villanova.

October the 11 th, at south bend,

the University of Notre Dame.''

What?

Anything wrong?

Sit down, sit down.

Couldn't he have booked

one Protestant school for a breather?

But won't you reconsider?

l'm leaving town. l don't wanna be here

next fall and be a part of this homicide.

With the material you have here,

you couldn't whip Vassar at tiddlywinks.

Mr. Williams, l've already taken

the first step...

...to put this school back on its feet.

Now, l'm sure with a little faith,

all of our other difficulties will disappear.

Now, won't you help us?

For a moment, let's dispense

with the rosy glasses of childish optimism...

...and look at this calmly:

You've flipped your lids.

The whole idea was crackpot

from the beginning.

Trying to book big-time college ball.

You have a schedule, but how about

players and equipment?

- A stadium to play in?

- That's up to you.

l've told you that we are giving you

an absolutely free hand.

Then you better shake it,

because l'm leaving right now.

l'm away.

Where are we going?

As far as our bankroll will take us.

Upstate, where we can hide away

from our little friend with the badge.

Do we know anybody up there?

Yeah, l got a friend in Rochester

who owns a bar and a grill.

- Poolroom attached?

- Sure.

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