Trouble for Two

1

10,000 pardons, your excellency.

It's quite unavoidable,

I assure you -

Ceremonies, affairs of state,

speeches, you know.

Oh.

His royal highness

prince florizel.

Is expected back at any moment.

His majesty begs that you will

overlook the slight delay.

Hmm.

I trust that you bring

pleasant tidings.

From your sovereign king

of irania?

His majesty the king of irania

has the gout.

Oh, the gout.

Well, how unfortunate.

I - If you'll excuse me,

your excellency.

Where is that dawdler geraldine?

Your majesty.

Well, where's the prince?

For 15 years, we've been

negotiating this marriage,

And now there's no prince.

You're responsible

for the arrangements.

Yes, sire. Where is he?

He - Where is he?

At 10:
30, his royal highness

was to open the autumn bazaar.

At 11:
00, address the widows of

the veterans of the war of 1837.

At 11:
30, dedicate two lifeboats

for the life of his com-

That's what he's doing now.

It's exactly 11:
30.

Go and fetch him.

Well, what are you

standing there for?

Yes, your majesty.

Oh, for the ambassador's party,

I presume.

Not for the ambassador's party?

Well, where is it going?

I'm not permitted to say,

colonel.

It's a secret.

Secret?

Balance yourself.

What's going on here?

Where's his royal highness?

What are you doing

with those poles?

Look here, gerry.

Ooh, I-I beg your pardon,

your highness.

You're just in time

to see me realize.

One of my greatest ambitions.

I've always wanted to try

one of these things.

Yes, I know.

All right, take the poles away.

Oh, no! For goodness sake,

don't -

This is very irregular

and inopportune.

I couldn't go to the carnival,

so the carnival came to me.

Do you want to try it?

Oh, no, no, thank you.

I'm better off - Now, this is

no time for dancing.

His majesty, your father,

Demands your presence

immediately.

He's been waiting

for over an hour.

Oh, well,

I guess the fun's all over.

Yes.

How do I get down

off this thing?

Yes, how does he get down?

Hey!

Oh! Oh!

Oh, now, see what you've done.

So, that's the way you get down!

Oh, I'm all right.

Well, you better all go now

and take your wire with you.

Thank you very much.

What is it this time?

The iranian ambassador.

Oh.

Last time I saw princess Brenda,

She had a horse bit

in her mouth, pigtails,

And lenses over her eyes.

Yes, but they say she has

an excellent mind.

The better to bore you with,

my dear.

In short, your majesty,

The court of irania

is unanimously enthusiastic.

For this proposed alliance.

But, uh...

But what, sir?

There is, unfortunately,

one exception.

Pray be good enough

to explain yourself, sir.

Princess Brenda.

The princess Brenda

is not enthusiastic?

I find it a very, uh, delicate

matter to explain, your majesty.

Perhaps I may be pardoned.

If I express her highness'

attitude in her own words.

They were as follows -

"I will never buy a pig

in a poke."

Merely a figure

of speech, of course.

And a very colorful one, too.

Proceed, baron.

And there for the present,

your majesty,

I believe the matter rests.

Very well.

We shall instruct our ambassador.

To continue

with the negotiations.

Pray do not inconvenience

yourself on my account, sir.

May we not say

that I have loved and lost.

You have our leave to retire.

Your majesty,

your royal highness.

Now, gentlemen, we have

no further need of you today.

Not you two.

Colonel geraldine,

you'll remain within call.

Me?

Oh, of course, your majesty.

I'd be delighted, I'm sure.

Delighted, I'm sure.

My boy...

The time has come.

I'm sorry.

No.

We are living in difficult days.

Republics are springing up

around us like mushrooms,

And your conduct is not

making it any easier for us.

I'm sorry, sir.

Yes, but not sorry enough,

confound it.

You are the crowned prince,

And the people expect

something more from you.

Than frivolity and extravagance.

And they're right. They should.

Remember our revolution

of three years ago.

When stafgar and the others

were killed.

Those revolutionists weren't

small - Dr. Noel, madam polar.

They escaped,

but they'll try it again.

Do you realize that less than

three months ago,

The secret service uncovered

a plot to kill you?

No, sir.

Well, it's true.

Some anarchistic young woman.

What happened to her?

She escaped, too.

Oh, I see.

Well, what do you want me

to do, sir?

Well, you are

the crowned prince.

And the crowned prince

should get married...

I've heard that, sir.

Whether he wants to or not.

Now we're really down to it.

We are, my boy.

And she is, of course?

Princess Brenda of irania.

Yes, sir?

Being the crowned prince,

you must one day rule carovia.

We cannot escape it.

That's all I have to say.

I wonder what carovia

would think, sir,

If you and I went out

and got drunk.

I wish we could.

I'm afraid I haven't

very much of an answer.

To what you just said.

I don't think there is one.

But I don't want you

to answer now.

It'll take at least a month.

For these negotiations

to be completed.

I want you to think it over.

I want you to think it over well

before you decide.

I will.

And thank you.

Oh, send colonel geraldine

to me, will you?

Yes, sir.

Hello, colonel geraldine.

I hope I'm not taking

too much for granted.

In presuming

that you're fond of my son.

Oh, no, your majesty.

I love his royal highness

very dearly.

I mean - Good.

I like him, too.

Don't mind saying it.

He's a fine boy.

Yes, your majesty.

You and I probably know him.

Better than anyone else,

don't we?

Yes, indeed, your majesty.

I want you to help me

with him now.

Of course, your majesty.

I - I don't mind saying

that I'd gladly - I'd -

I'd give my life

for his royal highness.

I know you would, gerry.

We couldn't have shown all the

patience we did in raising him.

Without loving him, could we?

Remember some of the things

he used to do?

Remember the time

that he hid your crown.

In the waste basket?

But, uh, he isn't a boy

any longer, gerry.

No, your majesty.

And I've just had to hurt him,

really, for the first time.

It's about

this marriage business.

Yes, your majesty.

And you can help him

where I can't.

He's had a hard blow.

But if I know anything

at all about him,

He'll come through it all right,

but he'll fight.

There's no knowing what

he may do in the next month.

So I want you

to take him away somewhere,

To london, but never let him

out of your sight.

Yes, your majesty.

I'll do my best, your majesty.

And understand this,

colonel geraldine.

If anything happens to him,

If one hair of his head

is harmed,

Or one line gets into

the newspapers about him,

No matter what he does,

I'll have your hide nailed

to the palace walls.

Is that clear?

Oh, uh, yes, your majesty.

Good.

Got a cigarette?

Oh, yes, yes, cigarette,

your majesty.

Oh, beg your pardon, sir.

That was an exciting moment.

Stupid fellow.

This is the dullest, most stupid

boat trip I have ever been on.

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