Trouble for Two Page #2

Maybe we might play a game?

Let me see, uh...

I'm thinking

of a famous english poet.

Whose name begins with "t."

I'll give you 20 guesses.

Tennyson.

Oh, yes,

you got it the first time.

Would you like to think of one?

Well, anyway,

I'm glad we're going to london.

I can bring back an english

plum pudding for aunt elsa.

She's always wanted one.

Man:
Mr. Godall.

Paging mr. Godall.

Mr. Godall. Paging mr. Godall.

Hmm? Oh, yes, of course.

Steward, I'm mr. Godall.

For you, sir.

Have you forgotten,

major Hammersmight,

I am mr. Godall.

Gerry, old boy,

This trip may not have been

without its compensations.

I'm going to meet a lady

in cabin "c."

But you don't know any lady

on board.

I have a feeling

I'm about to know one.

But...

Woman:
Come in.

Madam.

It was good of you to come,

mr. Godall.

It was better of you

to ask me, miss, uh...

I'm sorry.

But for the moment, my identity

must remain a secret.

Oh, yes, that's quite

understandable.

I beg your pardon.

Are you a brave man, mr. Godall?

Madam, have you ever been

kicked in the shins?

I beg your pardon?

The last woman who asked me that

was kicked in the shins.

This is no laughing matter.

Madam, until I know

what the matter is,

I scarcely know

whether to laugh or cry.

Mr. Godall,

I need your help desperately.

There are people

on board this boat.

Whom I have reason to believe

would stop at nothing.

To get possession of -

Of these documents.

I'm going to ask you

to carry them for me.

I would be delighted, madam.

I can explain nothing to you.

I think it only fair to warn you.

That those who would attack me

for this envelope.

Would attack you, as well.

Oh, come, come, madam.

We're not living

in the middle ages.

I know whereof I speak, sir.

Perhaps so.

But I would accept far worse

than this to see you again.

You will take this

and leave the ship with it.

And then?

You will meet me at the foot

of the gangplank.

And return it to me.

Is that clear?

Quite.

Have you ever faced actual

danger before, mr. Godall?

Madam, a bomb was thrown

into my baby carriage.

As I lay there gurgling.

I picked it up and played

with it as though it were a toy.

Of course,

a baby doesn't know very much.

Uh, perhaps there's another

mr. Godall on board?

Uh, mr. Godall, perhaps?

You are mr. Godall.

Oh, yes, of course.

How stupid of me.

And you?

You'll kindly not attempt

to leave the room, mr. Godall.

You'll have reason

to regret it if you do.

Madam, you know

what I have come for.

Your mission is in vain, sir.

Madam, I'm prepared,

as you know, to insist.

You appear to forget, sir,

That no gentleman ever insists

over any protest of a lady.

It would be a pity, sir,

To waste your life when you've

lived so little of it.

Madam, give them to me.

You're wasting your time, sir.

The lady has none

and wants none of you.

I suppose that she has,

of course, given them to you.

You're very good

at guessing games.

You should meet

a friend of mine.

I beg of you, sir,

do not force me to violence.

Ah, major Hammersmight,

how nice of you to come.

We were just about

to have some tea.

May I introduce my friends,

madam... corde.

And monsieur danto.

Dant-Uh, tea at this hour?

This is no time for tea.

We're docking.

Are we, indeed?

Then we mustn't detain

madam corde a moment longer.

Come, gentlemen.

We will have tea

another time, madam.

Well, sir,

if you don't need me anymore...

What? Oh, no, I'm sorry.

There was no trouble.

I mean, thank you very much.

Very good, sir.

And now, sir,

if I may bid you good night.

With this admonition -

Don't trouble the lady again.

Thank you very much

for your advice.

Major Hammersmight.

Monsieur danto.

Madam corde, monsieur danto -

What kind of people are they?

Gerry. What?

This has been

the nicest boat trip.

That it has ever been

my pleasure to take.

Oh, listen. Well, i...

But this is madness.

You mustn't expose yourself.

Can't you see it?

It's obviously a plot

against your life.

Who would take the life

of mr. Godall?

But they may have seen through

your incognito.

Nonsense, major.

You do her an injustice -

A girl with eyes like that

and so fearless.

But you can't do this.

A Godall never fails.

This envelope

must be returned to her.

Oh, but you...

Come, come, major Hammersmight.

Don't worry yourself.

Well, mr. Godall,

did you find the young lady?

Are all the passengers ashore?

Everyone, sir.

Uh, steward,

have you seen the young lady.

Who occupied this stateroom?

Lady, sir?

This stateroom

has been unoccupied.

For the entire voyage.

Thank you. Yes, sir.

Yes, now, are you convinced.

That the young lady's distress

was errant fiction?

Yes, but I still

have her envelope.

Hey, don't do that.

Blank paper.

A little more of the hot, sir?

Thank you.

You know,

her eyes weren't really blue.

They were a kind of

a deep violet.

I rather thought

they were black.

Yes, kind of haunting.

Did you notice the eerie

but firm movements of her body,

The distinguished grace

of her head, the -

All lost forever.

You speak as if

you blame me for it.

Blame you?

Why should I blame you?

I'm having

a charming conversation.

With a delightful young woman

when you appear uninvited,

As if you were leading

your whole regiment of dragoons.

In a cavalry charge.

And you ask me

why I should blame you?

But your father -

My father did not say that I was

to be trundled on your knee.

And fed from a bottle.

Little more

of the hot water, sir?

No. No, thank you.

I am in enough -

I mean, plenty of hot water.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Would you care to order now?

The ris de veau

is superb tonight.

Oh, dinner.

Oh, well, I thought that -

Don't you think it would be nice

to have a quiet dinner here.

And then perhaps

a little game of cribbage?

Dine here?

Well, we could go in the

dining room if you prefer it.

I am dining out.

Oh, no, now, you mustn't -

That's very da-

After a hot bath,

and it's foggy,

And the weather is wretched.

You must be all tired out

after your journey.

Have you any suggestions

as to where we should dine?

I take it you'd like some place

out of the usual, sir?

Exactly.

The caf travetoro -

Just the spot.

The cuisine is excellent,

and there's a lady what sings.

Good.

The caf travetoro it is.

Oh, dash it all.

And it's so comfortable and

cheerful here, and - And snug.

They're dining at the

caf travetoro, madam, in soho.

Thank you.

I've been out and about

with you scads.

Setting all london in flames.

From waterloo bridge

to trafalgar square.

We've been playing

the sauciest games.

So the boys bring their

breeches behind them.

"Different," he said it was.

"Effervescent" was the word

I believe he used.

You should have asked him

to define it.

As I remember, it was your idea

to come here, mr. Godall.

Shall we go?

Magnificent suggestion, major.

Pardon me, madam.

Would you be good enough

to allow me to offer you.

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