True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet

---

Woman's voice:

So this is how it ends.

Me, Morgan Carter,

movie star, stuck in coach

between stinky sandwich man

- and sweaty fat guy.

- No.

- ( man coughs )

- I swear my mother's trying to kill me.

It isn't a pretty story,

except for the clothes,

the parties and the limos.

( rock music playing )

- Now you get alone with me...

- ( whoops )

I'm gonna make you mine

and make you free

In the new world

( cameras clicking )

Crap goes in

and crap goes out

And it makes me scream,

it makes me shout

In the new world...

( girls shouting )

( laughs )

Whoo!

This is my world.

Bye!

( laughing )

- Tell me you did not just do that!

- I totally did!

Man on TV:
And here we are live

from the red carpet

for the world premiere of Morgan

Carter's new movie "She's the Bomb. "

Now Morgan's set

to be here at any minute.

You know what? After a series

of high-profile breakups,

it's anybody's guess

who will be Morgan's date tonight.

You're my mystery date.

It looks like her car is coming up

around the corner right now.

Everybody wants a piece

of her tonight.

- I'm famous.

- So so famous.

We're gonna have the exclusive

interview with Morgan.

- Let's do it!

- Man:
Here's all the paparazzi.

- Easy, guys, easy. Here, hang on.

- ( crowd screaming )

Here we go again.

- Man:
Hey, Morgan- oh!

- Ooof!

- ( crowd gasps )

- Morgan!

How excited are you

to be here this evening?

I'm so excited that my best friend

Marissa DahI is here tonight.

And now for our "Star Report. "

Rumors abound

that Morgan Carter

who collapsed outside

a Hollywood nightclub four months ago

- is leaving rehab sometime this week.

- Turn it off.

The name of the facility is

still a closely-guarded secret.

Everyone is dying to know:

- Is Morgan all cleaned up...

- Sam, turn it off.

...or messed up?

The good news is

they're still talking about her.

Spun like a true manager.

I'm trying, but this has happened

too many times.

The studios are not gonna touch her

untiI convinced her recovery's reaI.

Let's open with that

when we see her.

- I'm just saying.

- I'm going in first.

Oh my God.

This place is so depressing.

Sam:
You think?

- Hi, honey.

- Oh, yes!

The Bianca has arrived

to spring me.

- I hate it when you call me that.

- It's good to see you, too.

Why are you sitting?

Come on, let's go.

- We need to talk.

- Why start now, Mom?

Okay, between the clubbing

and the paparazzi

and the Perez Hiltons,

it is impossible for you

to recover in this town.

Whatever.

Listen, I just wanna go

to the salon and then the spa. I mean-

Okay, Morgan honey,

you're not going to the spa.

In fact,

you're not going home.

Sam:

Where are you guys?

- Sam! My awesome manager.

- Where's my Morgan?

Sam, all right, let's step out.

This is too much.

So your mother and I

have decided

that you should go and stay

with your Aunt Trudy for a while.

What the hell are

you talking about?

- Your Aunt Trudy-

- She isn't even my reaI aunt.

She's some obscure friend

of Bianca's from high schooI

- and she lives in purgatory.

- Fort Wayne, Indiana.

- Same thing.

- Sam:
Nevertheless,

you will be living there

and going to schooI there.

Going to schooI?

A public schooI? Are you lit?

I'll get mobbed

by the press.

Yeah, we thought of that.

We thought of that,

so while you are in Fort Wayne,

you are not Morgan Carter,

you are-

are you ready for this?

you are Claudia Miller.

And no one's gonna

recognize you as a brunette.

- This is great, huh?

- Huh!

Sam:
Huh?

I get it.

( sighs )

I'm on some reality show, right?

Hidden cameras...

( exhales, clears throat )

- So you guys are serious?

- Both:
Mm-hmm.

For how long?

As long as it takes, Morgan.

- Oh my God. What is this?

- Bianca:
New luggage.

Average 17-year-olds

don't carry Louis Vuitton bags.

- Earrings.

- Quentin Tarantino gave these to me.

Exactly.

She'll be wearing these

by tonight.

I guess this means I'm not

getting the Soderbergh film.

Sam:
He didn't think

you were right for the part.

Sam, the part is

a teen alcoholic.

They're thinking of aging it up,

you know, rewriting it for Will Ferrell.

- I'm not gonna go.

- You shut down your last film.

Nobody's gonna touch you

right now. Do you understand that?

"Coach"?

I make $5 million a film

and I'm flying coach?

Claudia Miller has a budget.

Claudia Miller flies coach.

Well, I hate her already.

- Give her a chance.

- Bye, darling. Mommy loves you.

- This is a bad idea.

- Bianca, please.

Bianca:
This is a bad idea. She's been

working since she was 5 years old.

She's had stylists,

publicists, assistants.

I'm not sure she can function

in the reaI world.

Give her a chance.

( pop rock music playing )

SOS, please

someone help me

It's not healthy

for me to feeI this way

Oh, you are making

this hard

I can't take it,

see, it don't feeI right

SOS, please

someone help me...

Morgan's voice:
I had arrived

in extreme suburbia as part

of the witless protection program.

Whoa!

You are making this hard

This time please someone

come and rescue me

'Cause you on my mind

has got me losing it...

I got sober for this.

You're here!

How was your flight?

I died twice in my mind.

Yeah, I hate to fly.

Well, welcome.

- Anti-hug?

- Yes, I am.

Well, you go ahead in

and I'II-

yeah, I'll get your bags.

Morgan's voice:
The last time

I saw Aunt Trudy I was 5 years old.

She's now divorced

and works as a plant lady,

though her house is

suspiciously devoid

of plants

and other living things.

Her decor is more like

Willy Wonka on acid.

Come on in.

I'll give you a little minitour, okay?

Okay, great.

Morgan's voice:
I mean, there were

multicolored polka dots everywhere,

even on the ceiling.

- And oh, my God, that clock.

- Made it myself.

Morgan's voice:

And it seems to be made out of-

Licorice.

Of course, who doesn't need

edible wall art?

I'm living with a 14-year-old.

Kitchen. You can help yourself

to anything, okay?

Morgan's voice:
Correction.

I'm living with a 10-year-old.

My room has

rainbow-striped walls,

a closet that wouldn't even fit

my Dolce & Gabbanas

and Pepto-colored sheets

with happy little butterflies

and no thread count.

So go ahead and settle in.

Take a nap if you like.

Your mom gave me some money

for schooI clothes,

so we'll hit the mall later.

Morgan's voice:

How can they expect me to live

in the Tim Burton version

of suburbia?

Sober no less?

I'm a pleasure-seeker

Shopping for a new distraction

I'm a pleasure-seeker looking

for some platinum action

I'm a pleasure-seeker

moving to the music

I'm a pleasure-seeker looking

for the reaI thing

Candelabras

in a Wonderbra

Dress Barn runway-

a reaI draw...

- Ooh!

- Faster, pussycat...

The new Stuart Weitzman shoes!

Wow, I saw these during

New York Fashion Week

and they're beautifuI.

- $325.

- Yeah, you should get a pair, too.

I could buy a hundred flip-flops

for that amount of money.

Anyway, your mom

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes