Turbo Page #3

to help us sell tacos?

Patience, bro.

Taco-volutions don't happen in a day.

And next up on our tour

is the L.A. River.

Famous for its appearance...

Get! Get out!

Sorry, Paz. Can you throw that up here?

Coming to getcha! I'm coming to getcha!

Bye.

Hey!

Valley Hobby, this is Bobby,

how can I help you?

No, you got the wrong number.

Yeah, okay.

That's what I'm talking about!

You want Jackson Five on your feet?

One Jackson per toe.

Sure, knock yourself out.

Can't get no better.

Okay. So, what's your plan?

Stay here in this rundown strip mall?

With a bunch of lunatic snails,

and a nutso taco man

who is using you to sell Mexican food?!

Because if that's your plan,

then whoopty-skippy-do, sign me up!

My ears are burning.

I hope you're not talking about me.

You two seem to have

a special connection, Little Amigo,

and Snail Who Seems To Be

Friends With Little Amigo.

Is this your mother?

Your sister?

Say no more. It's your girlfriend.

She's a cutie.

Women.

I have to admit,

I was kind of hoping the taco-volution

would've started by now.

It doesn't make sense.

With my brains and your speed,

we should be destined for greatness,

right?

We need to think big, Little Amigo.

I'm talking commercials,

talk shows, county fairs.

Flea markets.

No, farmers' markets. No, supermarkets.

We'll cover all the markets.

Quinceaeras,

confirmations, graduations.

The Indy 500.

I got it.

We can have our very own telenovela!

What? No.

This is it, Chet.

I knew we ended up here for a reason.

Will you just slow down for a second?

Slow down? Are you kidding?

I'm never going slow again!

Theo, stop.

What are you trying to say?

I wanna enter him in the Indy 500.

The Indy 500?

What are you talking about?

What is he talking about?

Now, look,

I know it may sound a little crazy...

No, no, no, Tito,

that doesn't sound crazy.

Dos Bros Tacos and Sushi.

That was crazy.

What? People love sushi.

Dos Bros Tacos and Monkey Petting Zoo.

That was crazy.

The babies were cute.

The adults were just so mean.

Taco Man and his sidekick, the Churro.

That was off-the-hook crazy!

Crazy awesome.

But this, Tito?

This is in a category all by itself.

Angelo, please.

Come on, Chet. Just hear me out.

Theo, a snail cannot race

in a competition meant for cars.

There are rules.

Actually,

I've been doing a lot of research,

and there's nothing in the rules

that says a snail can't enter the race.

There's nothing that says this sponge

can't enter the race either,

but that doesn't mean

it's ever gonna happen.

Millions of people watch that race.

This could put us on the map, bro.

-Trying to work, here.

-Come on, Angelo.

All we have to do

is raise the $20,000 registration fee.

What?

-I figured, once we sell the truck...

-Sell the...

Are you even

listening to yourself, Tito?

You want to invest

our entire life savings in a snail!

I'm telling you, this snail

crawled into our lives for a reason.

I think he could be

our little shooting star.

Did you hear that, Chet?

This guy believes in me.

That guy is as crazy as you are.

They'll never let you into that race.

And even if they did,

you wouldn't survive one lap.

-Yeah, but...

-Angelo, listen...

-Tito!

-Theo!

Not every dream is meant to come true.

Yeah, what he said.

A snail in the Indy 500.

What will you think of next?

Don't worry, Little Amigo.

We'll get that entrance fee somehow.

Now, I know some people may say

$20,000 sounds like a lot of money.

It is a lot of money.

And I know some people

may say I'm crazy.

But I say, when a snail crawls

into your life at 200 miles an hour,

then you'd have to be crazy

not to grab onto that shell,

and take a ride of a lifetime.

Now,

in case you're still not convinced...

Boom! Check out my well-designed

endorsement poster.

What's your point, Tito?

My point is, we got a chance

to change our lives for the better.

To make Starlight Plaza

the great place we all know it could be.

Now, come on.

Who's ready to sponsor

the next Indy 500 champion?!

Sorry, Tito, but I've got work to do.

No, you don't. None of you do.

I don't get it. That poster was awesome.

Well, good try, you did your best.

Time to go home, Theo.

We're going to Indianapolis, Chet.

Don't you worry

your chubby little face about that.

All right, team.

Snail up!

And next up on our tour

is the L.A. River.

Famous for its appearance

in such movies as...

You've just been White Shadowed!

Next stop is the Starlight Plaza.

Yes!

Burn. Let's get this party started.

You know it.

Snailed it.

Skidmark. You bringing the beverages?

I got a beverage for you.

And a beverage for you.

Light her up, Turbo.

Do your thing, baby.

Whoa.

Hey, Angelo! We got customers.

Whoa!

Okay, you ready?

Go!

All right. You're good to go.

Okay, everybody. Back on the bus.

Mama, you look good!

Bye. Come again.

I do weddings, bar mitzvahs.

Thank you. Come back soon.

Tomorrow, later on today. I'll be here.

Good luck with that snail of yours.

Thank you, my friend.

I gotta hand it to you, Tito.

For once,

one of your crazy schemes worked.

I know!

And, hey, if we did better

because of that billboard,

just imagine what the Indy 500 could do.

Hey, don't go crazy on me.

We had a good day.

We sold a few extra tacos.

It's good enough.

You better not mess this up, Tito.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

We're going to Indianapolis, Chet!

"I" to the "N" to the "Dizzy"

to the "Wizzah." You dig?

Yes, sir.

One breakfast burrito, please.

That's it.

I'm sorry, honey. Today is the day.

Tito!

Are you ready, big man?

On three. One, two...

Indy, baby!

I got it!

"Fasty"!

Are you kidding me?

"Turbo"!

All right, as the kids say,

"Time to plump your ride."

Heck, no!

Let's do this.

Now, that's more like it.

No twitching. Voil!

Suited and booted, gooted and looted,

dipped and whipped!

We've got a contender, baby!

Look at him go!

Fresh air, baby.

We ain't in Van Nuys no more.

Hi, Chet.

You're gonna be my boyfriend!

I'm gonna call you "boo."

"Boo"? What does that even mean?

Sure beats the view

from the garden, huh?

I can't believe you're doing this.

"We." We are doing this.

You. I'm just a hostage.

Theo, what happens if you wake up

tomorrow, and your powers are gone?

What then?

Then I better make the most of today.

This is even bigger than Hobby-Con.

Wow. Now, that's a car.

Whoa. Shiny.

Gagn.

And Guy Gagn wins the pole,

with a four-lap average

of 230 miles per hour.

That's Gagn's best time yet.

Turbo has never gone that fast.

I mean, yet.

So, you got a plan, Taco Man?

Of course I do.

Please tell me those phony glasses

are not your plan.

No. That would be ridiculous.

Come on, phony glasses, do your thing.

This great.

I'm gonna go have heart attack.

Qu pasa, my friend?

I have a driver that

I'd like to enter into the race.

What team does your driver race for?

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes