Turbo Page #4

Dos Bros Tacos and Company.

Has he passed the rookie test?

Hey, come here.

Let's cut to the chase, okay?

You have glasses, I have glasses.

What do we gotta do

to get this done, bro?

Hey, let go. Come on, man, let go!

This is no way to treat a guy with glasses.

I have astigmatism and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Guy, how do you do it, shattering

your own records year after year?

Well,

when a cheetah chases after a gazelle,

does he ever stop to think,

"Maybe I've caught enough gazelles.

"Maybe I should just settle down,

try the vegan thing."

No! He keeps running

as long as his legs will carry him.

I am like the cheetah. I never give up.

Next question.

All right, give me the keys.

I'll drive the first shift home.

Whoa!

What gives?

No, no, no!

Can I help you, monsieur?

One second, please.

What are you doing?

Are you trying to get me arrested?

Oh.

Sorry! So sorry.

We'll have this under control...

Ladies and gentlemen!

I give you the next Indy 500 champion!

Is that a snail?

Your driver is a snail?

What kind of welcome is that?

I'd say an appropriate welcome,

given the situation.

All right. Game over, nut job.

Let's go.

Have a nice flight, Chet.

-Hit it!

-White Shadow!

Bonzai!

Get off!

Pedal to the metal, Turbo.

Go!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Whoa! That snail is fast!

What did I miss? What did I miss?

226! That's fast enough to qualify!

That's what I'm talking about!

Whoa! That snail is fast!

Man, wait until people see this!

Whoa! That snail is fast!

What?! Are you seeing this?!

-Hello?

-Have you heard?

Yes, I've heard.

That snail is fast.

Forget about it.

This will blow over by noon.

Whoa! That snail is fast!

-Hello?

-Have you seen it?

Yes, I've seen it!

Whoa! That snail is fast!

What?

Snail is fast!

You see the snail moving fast

You slow, you gonna get passed

You see him gaining position for first

He won't be last

He's ready to make a dash

Snail quicker than a lightning flash

His engine's roaring, he's flooring

He won't run out of gas

Whoa! That snail is fast!

Whoa! Are you seeing this?!

Whoa!

You cannot have a snail in the Indy 500.

It's a miracle of nature!

Will the snail be crushed

by the giant race cars?

That snail is fast, fast, fast

Fast, fast, fast, fast

Whoa. That snail is fast.

We've just received word that the CEO

of IndyCar is about to make a statement.

And so,

after careful consideration and...

That snail is fast

That snail is fast

Sorry. My bad.

I've decided...

Please, say yes. Please, say yes.

Please, say no. Please, say no.

White Shadow.

I've decided that I simply cannot permit

a snail to enter...

Please, sir, give my snail a shot,

and I swear, you won't regret it.

Mr. Lopez, while I appreciate

your enthusiasm, my decision is...

Let him race!

Let him race!

Let him race!

Let him race! Let him race!

Let him race!

Now, now. Order.

Sir, if I may.

You might want to get a two-shot here.

I, like this passionate gentleman here,

came from humble beginnings.

In the words of my dear father,

"No dream is too big,

and no dreamer, too small."

And that is why I, for one,

believe that if the Indy 500

isn't going to put a limit on speed,

then it shouldn't put a limit on spirit!

Give the people what they want.

Let him race!

Let him race! Let him race!

Let him race!

Just me.

Whole frame, my face.

All right!

"All right," what?

Your snail can compete

in the Indianapolis 500.

Yeah!

Has the world lost its mind?

To Turbo!

Starlight Plaza! Hey!

He ain't slow no more.

That's for sure.

Shut the door.

Get on the floor.

Barbeque sauce!

And we're back with more

from Indianapolis.

Check it out. We're on TV.

Mr. Lopez, how do you feel about

getting to compete in the Indy 500?

I'm just so happy.

And we'd all be happy to see you

come on down to the Starlight Plaza.

Just north of the 101

in Van Nuys, California.

Kim Ly Nail Salon.

Where we put the "nail" in "snail."

Taco Man cried

in front of millions of people.

Here you go, Paz. Nice and warm.

Goodnight, Tito.

-You comfy enough, Bobby?

-No.

Okay, let me know if you need anything.

Hey! No touching!

Smooth, smooth, smooth.

Sleep tight, Little Amigo.

We got a big day tomorrow.

Yep.

Big day, indeed.

I'm detecting

a refreshing note of disapproval.

I'm worried. And you should be, too.

I'll be fine.

You are delusional, you know that?

It's Big Red all over again.

Only this time,

instead of one lawn mower,

it'll be 32 giant, fire-breathing cars!

And I won't be able to save you.

You won't have to, because this time,

I have speed.

You're not a car. You're a snail.

I got a shot here, Chet.

I can do this. You'll see.

No, I won't.

I will not stand by

and watch the only brother I've got

risk his life

chasing some impossible dream.

I'm sorry, Theo.

All of these people, they believe in me.

Guy Gagn believes in me.

Why won't you?

And by the way, my name is Turbo.

All right. Tout suite, let's go.

Whoa.

2.2-liter turbo V6.

24-valve quad-overhead cam.

Fastest open-wheel,

single-seat machine on the planet.

I think I'm in love.

No way.

You're not trying

to steal my trophy from me, are you?

Because if you want one for yourself,

you may have a long wait.

Espresso?

So, you are my little competition, eh?

The underdog versus the champion.

The world loves the underdogs, you know.

The dreamers out there, they need them.

Need to believe that one day, maybe

they could achieve the impossible, too.

Well, the sad truth is,

underdogs seldom win.

And dreamers?

Let's just say, eventually,

they have to wake up.

I've never talked to a snail before.

So small, so amusing.

No wonder they want to see you race, eh?

Vroom! Vroom!

Look at him go.

Thank you, plucky snail.

Because of you,

the whole world will be watching this race.

And when the checkered flag drops,

they'll be watching me win.

Crawl home, garden snail,

while you still can.

Good afternoon, race fans,

and welcome to this year's running

of the Indianapolis 500.

Televised in over 200 countries

and aired in 33 different languages,

this is no longer just a race,

this is the day you'll be telling

your grandchildren about.

Where were you the day they let

a snail race in the Indy 500?

Okay, time to go. You ready?

All right, team meeting. Bring it in.

This is it, Little Amigo.

This is our moment. Our time.

Today is the day we make our mark.

Everybody in! It's go time!

Oh, Theo. Be careful out there.

Hey, little snail. Are you lost?

No.

Are you a boy, or a girl?

Why is this confusing?! I'm not a girl!

And there they are, folks.

Some of the biggest names in motorsport.

Shelby Stone,

hot off her win in Sao Paulo.

And there's Claudio Cruz,

a.k.a. "The Brazilian Butcher."

He actually was a butcher

before he got into race car driving.

Gagn! Gagn! Gagn!

Hey!

And here he comes, folks,

le man, le myth, le legend...

le "if I could choose anybody in the world

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