Turbo Kid Page #2

- Don't you ever rest?

- No.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Sure.

What are you doing here?

I'm practising my swing.

I mean, how did you get here,

this side of the wasteland?

Well, my last best friend

was a water hunter, so I tagged along.

Then he died, and here we are.

I'm sorry.

Why, what'd you do?

No, no. I mean, about your friend.

Oh, no, don't be, he's dead.

So, where do you come from?

Pretty far, all the way

from the other side of the wasteland.

I always wondered

what the other side looked like.

It's kind of grey and dusty.

Well, I could show you.

I can't.

Oh yeah, rule number two...

Well, that's too bad,

that's too bad because you're "It"!

Hah!

- What?

- You're "It", I tagged you!

Now, you gotta tag me back, if you can!

Hah!

- Oh, look at the bird...

- Where?

You're friggin' fast.

Wanna see something cool?

I always want to see something cool.

Come on.

Whoa, that's a T-Rex.

Yeah, they were these, um, big creatures

that used to walk the earth a long time ago.

And they got killed off

by this big explosion.

It's kind of like what happened to us,

you know?

Run! Run! Run!

As you may know,

the situation is critical.

Our defence grid has been breached.

We have reached maximum casualty level.

This is it soldier.

We have to hit these damn

machines with everything we've got.

You are our last hope.

Turbo Rider.

The fate of our future

is in your hand.

Where is she?

I'm coming, Apple.

My beloved followers, we have a very

special guest with us here this evening.

May I introduce Frederick,

the one-handed arm wrestler.

Now, Frederick wishes to be reunited

with his loving brother.

We all know how generous of spirit I am,

and I'm going to grant him his wish.

I bet you're wondering

what this contraption is, hmm?

You like science? I absolutely love it.

For example, do you know how much water

there is in the average human body?

Your blood is 83% water,

your muscle tissue, 75%.

The gristle and cartilage

around your bones, 55%.

The bones themselves, 25%.

And your noggin up here,

the old grey matter is 90% water.

Which brings the grand total

to ten precious gallons of H2O.

Ten gallons, which this machine

is designed to extract.

- I hope you choke on it, you mother f***er!

- Ah, ha-ha.

My beloved followers, who keeps you safe?

Zeus!

Who quenches your thirst?

Zeus!

And who keeps you bloody entertained?

Zeus!

You see?

I'm not nearly as despicable as you think.

- Let the juicing begin.

- No!

I beg your pardon,

did somebody say something?

Did somebody say something?

Release the girl!

And who exactly are you supposed to be?

I'm a super hero.

And what exactly is your super power?

I said, what is your super power?

This.

Oh, come on, son. Give it your best shot.

Well, that's rather disappointing, isn't it?

Into the pool with him!

In the pool!

Whoa! Oh!

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, I, uh, I brought you something.

I brought this back for you.

You're the best.

A reunion, how sweet.

You know, I'm real happy for you kids, I am.

But unless we all want to end up in that giant

f***ing blender over there, we need a plan.

OK so listen up. I'm going to take

the fat one,

he might be strong, but he'll be slow.

You take the big guy.

Yeah, you're going to have to surprise him.

You two take the ugly one, OK?

What's the matter, kid, huh?

Are you scared?

- Yeah.

- Fear is good, use it as a weapon. Yeah?

Now, girl what is that thing, a dwarf?

No, that's my gnome stick!

OK, whatever.

I want you to swing it as hard

as you can at that mother f***er's face.

- Yeah?

- Sir, yes sir!

Huh?

Feel the wrath of Mr Gnome.

Can you feel it?

The wrath of Mr Gnome!

I guess that was our cue.

You fat f***, you're fast.

Apple.

Not so fast now are you, fat f***?

Bravo.

I have to admit, I did not see that coming.

We won. Let us go.

That's not how it works, kid.

You're changing the rules, are you, Zeus?

It's my game, my rules.

No!

I admire your resolve, but in the end,

you're just a loser.

Eh, put the kid down.

Argh.

Playtime's over, kid.

Prepare to taste a turbo charge

of justice in the face!

Watch out!

Hey, kids, now would be

a good time to leave.

Let's split up.

Find them.

Kill them.

Bring me back their heads on pikes.

Hey there, sleepy head.

Where, uh, where are we?

We're on a couch.

Why? How?

You got pretty beat up.

You came back to save me.

That was really sweet of you.

You look pretty good in that suit.

- You think so?

- Hmm.

I just wish I could have done more,

you know?

I wish I could have been more like

the real Turbo Rider.

Yeah, maybe you can't,

but you could totally

be Turbo Kid.

That man in the eye patch, it was him.

I wish I could have stopped him,

I should have.

- Instead, I let you get shot.

- Hmm.

You're a robot.

You're it!

You're pretty human-like for a robot.

I'm very high-tech.

I thought all robots were

supposed to be evil.

Depends on the model.

Well, can you shoot

laser beams out of your mouth?

No, silly, I'm just a friendship...

Apple? Apple?

Apple?

Are you all right?

Yeah, my bioelectric

transmitter is damaged.

- Does it hurt?

- Oh, no.

I'm just losing some hearts.

Hmm.

What happens when you

have no more hearts?

I'll shut down, for good.

Shut down? You mean you'll die?

Yeah, yeah I'll die.

Oh.

Holy sh*t!

Kid? Look at you!

Don't you think you're taking

this comic book sh*t too far, huh?

Look, we need your help.

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't care what kind of

trouble you got yourself into,

I'm not interested.

Hey. Hey.

Put that back.

Looks like you got yourself

a girlfriend, hmm?

Oh!

Give me that back, young lady!

Hey, what are you doing? You're leaving?

Yes, and if I were you, I'd be packing too.

Frederick The Arm-Wrestler is gone!

There's a sh*t storm coming!

Some crazy bastards pissed off Zeus

and he's on the warpath!

Oh, yeah, that was us.

And look!

Wait!

Stop following me!

All we need is a bioelectric transmitter.

She's gonna die!

Are you insane?

Argh.

She's a robot!

Yeah, but she's my friend.

I don't want to hear about it!

Bagu, please!

And why should I help you?

What's in it for me?

Um...

You could have this.

All right.

But just because it's you.

You need to head north,

find highway 64.

There, you'll find your...

Robot cemetery.

You might have some luck finding

whatever it is you're looking for there.

That is, if you're still alive.

Now that's all I know,

so leave me alone. Hmm?

- Thank you!

- Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah.

Oh, and uh, Bagu, the water, it's people.

People?

Nonsense.

Whoo-hoo!

- Apple!

- Look at us ride!

Over here!

Apple!

Stupid piece of God damn sh*t.

Why does this aching son of a b*tch

always have to happen to me?

Ah!

I mean, how could this day

get possibly f***ing worse?

F***!

Hey there, sleepy head.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Oh, yes.

See, I have seven point five hearts left.

Wait, how can you eat if you're a robot?

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