Turbo Kid Page #3

Oh, I can eat, I can drink,

I can sleep, I can breathe.

The illusion works better

if I behave 100% like a human.

I mean, cos you know,

no one wants to remind a human

that his best friend is a robot.

Well, I actually think it's kind of cool

that you're a robot.

And, plus, you've got some pretty

serious fighting skills too.

Do you want me to teach you?

Yeah!

Yes!

Are you ready to become a master

in the art of kicking ass?

- Yes.

- Strike first, strike hard, show no mercy!

That's it!

That's it?

Eyes! Throat! Genitals!

So, strike first.

Always surprise your enemy.

Strike hard, always remember the weak points

of the human body, eyes, throat, genitals.

- Okay.

- And show no mercy,

so, you know, show no mercy.

Thank you.

That was cool.

- Oh, this is so much fun.

- I'm glad it is for you.

I love watching the sky at night.

Do you know why there are so many stars?

Oh, because space consists

of a whole lot of dust and gas

that gather to form

billions and billions of

stars and suns across

the different galaxies of the universe?

Yeah... No!

I mean,

what I was going to say is that,

my mom once told me that,

when somebody dies, a star is born.

So when the apocalypse happened,

the sky lit up with all the souls

of the people who died.

So, your mom is up there?

Yup, with my father. Up there in the sky.

It's weird, I, uh... I never told

anyone about my parents before.

I'm, I'm sorry.

No worries, it could happen to anybody.

We'll fix you...

Promise.

A T-Rex.

Where the f*** am I?

Zeus?

How are you?

You're looking fine,

and, uh, kind of serious.

Is that a new coat?

Oh!

Oh, oh that's... That doesn't look good.

No, that's bad, that's bad.

Look, whatever it is,

I'm sure we can talk this through!

Were you actually going to leave town

without saying goodbye?

Me?

Oh, I wouldn't do that.

I was just gonna take

a few days off, you know?

Go to the beach, work on my tan.

Just... I could really use some vitamin D.

You know, Vitamin D.

I'm looking for a young boy, a young girl,

and a big strapping cowboy.

Cowboy, huh?

Wow. And a boy and a girl,

uh... Maybe! Maybe.

Nah, it doesn't ring a bell.

No.

No, no, no, no, no!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news,

but in case you haven't noticed,

your guts are literally attached

to the wheel of this bicycle.

This is...

Ingenious! Yes, thank you.

Now, I know

that you know where they are.

So, I suggest you start talking right away.

The robot cemetery!

They're at the robot cemetery.

That's all I know...

Well, that was quick,

rather disappointing actually.

You're gonna help me

put these back in, right?

- Mmm.

- Please?

Do you have any idea how much

time it took to set this up?

Huh?

Yes, I'm sure you'll understand.

No, no, no, no.

Ah! No, no, no, no!

Shh.

It's a dead end!

Apple.

No!

I'm so sorry. We were so close.

It's okay.

You're the best friend that I've ever had.

Don't die on me!

We're here, hold on!

Apple, wake up!

Wake up!

I don't wanna be alone again.

I've been travelling all day,

and I've developed quite a thirst.

Would you have a drop of untainted

water for a fellow traveller?

Lower your hammer please,

that won't be necessary.

I know that my friend here doesn't

look quite as friendly as I do,

but I assure you,

all I need is a simple cup of water.

Thank you.

Oh, that's wonderful.

That's exactly what I needed.

Now, where did you get the water?

Because this is my land.

Taking anything from my land

would be considered stealing.

And you don't want to

steal from me, do you?

You got what you wanted, now please leave.

Where did you get the water?

It's OK, honey, I got this.

It's all right, honey, he's got this.

Death by drowning,

it's a luxury few men can afford.

Stop!

Hah, look at this.

I admire your spirit, young lady,

but your story has come to an end.

Then let's make it memorable.

No!

No.

She's mine.

Stop!

Well, what have we got here?

All right, kid, take your best shot.

No, don't bother,

he won't last long out there.

Fore!

You all right there, kid?

You took quite a dose of that nasty gas.

Where's Apple?

I'm sorry, kid.

Why'd you save me?

I owed you one.

Well, actually, I needed a new hand.

I sure as hell didn't

expect to find you there.

It's like fate or some sh*t.

It's impressive, huh?

You know what that is?

Turbo Mega Blaster.

You sure know your sh*t, kid, don't ya?

I guess you know where

I'm going with this then, hmm?

I'm meeting up with an old mate

and we're going straight to Zeus.

We're going to shove that

thing so far up his ass,

that he'll taste his own sh*t.

So, kid...

What do you say?

Let's roll.

Yeah, let's roll.

How does he keep sneaking

up on me like that?

What are you doing?

Just play it cool, kid.

Trust me.

I love that dress!

You know, Frederick,

you make poor choices in friends.

Ah, look, the arm-wrestler

has grown a new arm.

What about you kid,

you feeling feisty after

losing your super power?

And your girlfriend,

correction, robotic girlfriend.

Here name was Apple!

I admire your spirit, kid,

but unfortunately your story's

about to come to an end.

Then let's make it memorable.

Ah, you're the kid.

Ha...

You're full of surprises, aren't you?

For Christ's sake,

will you shut the f*** up and let's fight!

I knew you'd be eager,

that's why I brought the party to you.

It's play time.

Get ready to fight, kid.

This is going to get ugly.

I don't know if I can do this.

A man never knows how strong he is until

being strong is the only choice he has.

Really?

I don't know, kid, but it sounds good.

Argh!

Eyes!

Throat!

Genitals!

Nice!

Ladies...

Now I'm feeling the love.

Come on, b*tch, huh? Come on!

You like that? Take this, b*tch!

That's it, sweetheart. Come to daddy.

Ugh!

Hey, kid!

F***er!

Good riddance, you f***er.

You're alive.

You didn't wait for me.

- I'm so sorry, I thought you were dead.

- No, no, no!

I mean to start the fight.

Oh...

Well, I brought you back your, um,

um, turbo, uh, glove thing.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

You son of a b*tch.

Oh, you son of a...

Such a rude individual.

Look at us, huh?

Dj vu all over again.

Oh, and you were right, it was memorable.

Now, what was so difficult about that?

Ah.

Playtime is over Zeus.

You know, I really like most people,

but you, I don't like.

Ah!

Well, I've worn you far too long.

So much for trying to fit in.

You're a robot?

Yeah, you didn't know?

Robot?

Ha, I am a CC1-11, corporate companion,

designed to create

and instigate corporate policy.

Fashioned to the likeness of my master.

He said to me,

just before I bashed his head

in with his own golf club,

"Remember, you're only a robot."

Only a robot!

Well, I'm the one standing here, not him.

Sir, you are very mean.

I don't expect a basic friendship unit

to have a CPU fast enough

to understand what I just said.

But rest assured,

human beings are highly inefficient,

pests actually, not unlike cockroaches.

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