Tusk Page #5

Why don't you film it?

Let's have a real laugh after that tape.

I... I will be taking your

significant other to the Getty

because in her words,

"You don't get art. "

I get art too. Why do you

keep saying that? I get art.

I get it when it's got my face on it.

It's all over the wall. Look at

it. Look at all this. This is art.

Do you think this is art?

It's like a me-seum.

It's not wrong... All over

the walls of this, uh...

Studio.

We sort of created a man

cave/masturbation chamber,

uh, to while away the hours in.

I got to say, I've never jerked

off in here, which is surprising,

'cause I jerk off all the time.

I don't believe you.

Okay, you're right to not to believe me.

Teddy, you are my f***ing hero.

You're taking my

girlfriend to the Getty.

Ally and Teddy go to the Getty.

- Aw. - It's adorable.

It's like a children's book.

Yeah. Until next time, I'm Teddy Craft.

And this is Wallace

Bryton reminding you to...

Join ze Not-See Party!

Clear! Nice!

That was amazing!

I don't know where you

were going with that video

but I'm glad you did

it. It was embarrassing,

but sh*t, that was f***ing funny.

All f***ing hail the Not-See Party!

Yeah, everyone except Ally.

Ah... Dude, she just

wants to go with you.

I know. I know!

Teddy, why are you always

defending her? It's so weird.

And I know she wants to come. But

you know, her whole thing is like,

"Wally, why do you have

to do such mean comedy?"

That doesn't even sound like her.

I can't have her around if I'm

gonna get real with this kid.

And I got to get real with

him. This is way too important.

I can't be me if she is there.

I also can't get road-head

if she's there either.

You're a f***ing numbskull

to cheat on someone that hot.

Teddy, it has nothing to do with

how hot she is. I know she's hot.

But there's some top shelf

ass out there who listen to us.

I'm not kidding.

Plus you haven't seen these other girls.

I mean don't short change them, okay?

These fan girls, they may be pasty

and a little chunky, but they're...

- They're really sexual. - You

bring shame to the Not-See Party.

I know Ally's hot.

It doesn't take away

from how hot she is.

I'm not married to her. I

know I sound shitty right now.

I can see you judging me.

You going to Ally's now?

F***, yeah, I'm going over there now.

I wanna try to break one

off before I fly tomorrow.

So I can get all quiet

and peaceful in the plane,

and I don't cause any

disturbances at the airport.

- It... It's like my Xanax.

- Mmm.

I got to get the white out and

I go to bed, like a little baby.

F***.

He hasn't called me in three days.

I have this pain in my stomach. I...

I'm worried.

Ally. Ally, you got to help me.

I swear to God I'm not joking, okay?

I was abducted. I'm in Manitoba.

This guy wants to turn me

into an animal or something!

He's f***ing nuts!

You gotta please come!

Please! Please! Please!

I don't know where he is.

But I'm somewhere in

his weird f***ing house.

I'm like two hours from Winnipeg.

I'm so f***ing scared.

I'm so scared I'm not

gonna see you again.

I'm sorry I was such an a**hole.

I'm so sorry.

He cut off my f***ing leg, Ally.

Okay? Please. Okay.

Okay, just get here, okay?

Call the cops.

Ally... Ally, I don't

wanna die in Canada.

I don't wanna die at all.

Oh, f***.

F***.

Okay.

Oh, Teddy, pick up.

I... honestly...

I don't know how to live without you.

So go brush your teeth and

come back to bed, because...

I don't want to sit

here crying all night.

Teddy, it's me! I swear to

God this is no f***ing joke.

I'm being held captive.

I'm not kidding, I'm being held captive

by some crazy motherf***er.

He cut off my f***ing leg!

Listen to me, you gotta call the cops.

I'm, like... I'm, like,

two hours north of Winnipeg.

I'm somewhere... I'm somewhere

in, like, bumfuck Manitoba.

This guy's name is Howard

Howe, okay? It's Howard Howe.

You gotta call the cops.

Call the cops.

I don't know exactly what happened.

I'm scared shitless, man.

I think he wants to

turn me into, like, a...

What the f*** was that?

Your life as you knew

it is over, Mr. Bryton.

So if you wish to continue living,

you will be a walrus, or

you'll be nothing at all.

This'll f***ing help.

Ally. Ally, you've got to help me.

I swear to God I'm not joking, okay?

I was abducted. I'm in Manitoba.

This guy wants to turn me

into an animal or something.

Teddy.

Ted.

Hey.

Wake up. Wallace. It's Wallace.

- What?

- He's in trouble.

He's in trouble.

What?

Oh, my God, he called you too.

Oh, my God.

Check it.

Well, someone's looking for Wallace!

It must be nice to know that

somebody cares about you that much.

Just what I felt on the

island with Mr. Tusk.

He was the only living thing that

ever had my best interests at heart.

As a child, I was not cared

for so much as I was...

Filed away, like a document.

A document fed into a shredding machine

and fueled by the blood of the innocent.

You see, I am a Duplessis Orphan.

Now, Maurice Duplessis was the

Premier of Quebec in those days.

He was the head of

the Conservative Party

and with strong ties

to the Catholic Church.

As a matter of fact,

it was in collusion with

these charlatans of the Lord

that Duplessis brought upon

Quebec La Grande Noirceur...

"The Great Darkness. "

As a boy of 10,

my mother and father

took me to Montreal.

I had never seen anything

so beautiful and bright

and big and wonderful in my life.

But...

When night falls in Montreal,

the monsters come out to play.

We were walking to dinner, and were

accosted by brigands in a back alley.

My father was stabbed several

times with the mugger's knife.

And my mother's throat was

slashed, as if she were cattle.

I was placed in an abandoned

boys' home in Quebec.

Boys whose lives had been destroyed.

Provinces were responsible

financially for all of the orphanages.

The government was responsible

for the mental institutions.

So Duplessis and the Church, they came

up with a scheme to obtain more money

by reclassifying the orphanages

as mental health-care facilities.

And when nobody raised

their voice in protest,

why, they just shut down the orphanages

and sent all the children,

including me, to insane asylums.

And so for the next five years,

I was beaten,

I was tortured,

I was raped.

I have had things in my mouth that

no human being should ever taste.

They never thought of me as a

person. They just thought to use me.

And use me they did.

Priests, politicians...

All pederasts.

Even the nurses and

nuns and night watchmen.

All of them witches,

all there to satisfy

their most base physical

and financial desires...

Through the rectum and lips of a child.

So with no one to answer

to for their horrid crimes,

these devils ran amuck

with my innocence.

But at age 15, I escaped Canada.

I went to the United States, got

on a boat, and never looked back.

Until now.

Yes...

Man is a savage animal, Mr. Bryton.

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