Twa-Tiu-Tiann

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1

Young man, time to wake up!

You're sleeping while I'm teaching?

Ah!

Knock it off.

Why's your thing beeping?

This thing is a mobile phone.

Look at you. Tap, tap, tap.

Only your phones.

Nobody reads anymore.

Teaching you history

is like playing piano to a cow.

Now, let me show you something.

It's a book.

A what?

Look.

Wow, that's a big book.

Only $2,000.

$2,000?

Too expensive.

It's all about boy meets girl.

A boy, and a girl, right?

Yeah.

Birds and bees, they do it, right?

He takes off his clothes, right?

And she takes off hers, right?

Too much bother.

Two total strangers at the bus stop,

right?

What about that?

What do you say?

That's crazy.

What? Girls get knocked up just like that?

Just like that!

Where do babies come from?

Let me look at the book.

Quick.

What are you doing here?

What's history got to do with me?

Come again?

Where would you be now without history?

A special price for us, Professor?

No way. $2,000.

Not a penny less.

Professor Pig!

Pardon?

Professor P.

Professor P.

Stop messing around.

Wait! Jack!

What's up?

The clock stopped?

He is the one?

Hi, I'm Jack, your lucky star.

Forward the message to ten friends

and you'll have all the luck you need.

But, if you don't...

Don't blame anyone but yourself.

Now, flash mob!

OK'?

Teddy do you love me?

Idiot.

Stop that.

Let me have a go.

Let me have a go.

12:
00, Taiwan time.

Happy birthday!

Smile!

It wasn't me.

Jack.

I've met someone else.

Who?

You don't care about me.

You don't know what true love is.

But I do.

Hey, what are you...

Hey, hands off.

She's got asthma.

Asthma.

Asthma.

She hates fluffy toys like this.

She's allergic to them, OK?

Take a photo!

Hey, Jack.

Call yourself a lucky star?

What's wrong with you and girls?

I...

How would I know?

Jack.

Sorry.

Mummy is sorry, mummy has to go.

You must remember.

Not to fall for anyone.

Don't believe in love.

Love is the deadliest poison ever.

Just wait till mummy finishes these

and then mummy will go to sleep.

Mummy, don't die.

Sorry.

Mum?

I'm sorry, baby.

Why don't you save her?

Dad, help mum!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Mum.

It's alright.

I'm fine.

Professor Pig says,

If you don't show up for the TTT tour,

he'll fail you.

Taipei, TTT wharf, 2014.

Our first stop today,

is the City God Temple.

The history is not the main thing.

People actually come here

for the matchmaking god.

Matchmaking God?

Jack.

Just what you need, Jack!

Exactly!

You've just been dumped.

True love, remember?

Asthma, eh?

You think that's funny?

Please tell me

what true love is.

Come along everyone...

Look at the water dungeon.

A very famous person

was once imprisoned here.

Dr. Chiang,

known as the founding father of Taiwan.

I've got here an article by Dr. Chiang.

Can someone tell me the title?

A Note from Park.

A Note from Pool.

Can anyone actually read?

A Note from Prison.

The flower of youth is...

Can we go now? Miss?

No yet. I'm gonna tell you

about the water dungeon.

Oh Miss, they all look the same.

The water dungeon,

as you might have guessed...

You two, get out!

What do you think you're doing?

Knock it off, guys.

Here's your commemorative coin.

Come get yours.

Just give me a 10-dollar coin in return.

Issued in 2010.

With Dr. Chiang's portrait on it.

These are Taiwanese artworks

from the '20s to the '60s.

We'll start here.

Follow me, please.

Come on, we're almost done.

Stop messing around.

Keep your voice down.

Right, we finally come to

the last part of the TTT tour.

Come on.

Let's do a roll call.

Another $100 each.

$100?

Why do we need to pay again?

Didn't we pay already?

Professor P.

Now, pay attention.

This is South Street Festival.

This is TTT 100 years ago.

It takes you back in time.

Open any door

and you're back

in the Japanese colonial period.

Call girl period?

Don't be stupid.

Why do I bother telling you about history.

It's a total waste of time.

Says who?

Yeah, why do you say that?

We all want to be somebody.

Yeah, like all the time.

Good, I hear you.

Great.

Here.

You do it.

Thought you said no photos here?

You're ok.

Whatever.

Who called my name?

Somebody called you?

Look over there.

That handsome guy.

I like him.

I heard him called me.

Hey hottie...

I saw him in my dream.

Let's get to the temple.

Alright...

City God, please help me find a husband.

Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world.

It's the opening ceremony today.

The typhoon is now at its strongest...

Yes, over to you.

Right now, I'm in

downtown Hua-Lian.

The typhoon Nally is currently...

Chinese Taipei is now batting

Look at that!

That' s a home run that I've never seen

(Singing) Oh, nothing can stop us...

Oh, let's move on.

The first 7-11 in Taiwan...

One small step for man, one giant leap...

Home run!

Little League of Taiwan,

first World Championship in 1955.

National Day Ceremony

The 15th of August

the Japanese surrendered in 1945...

He is the one!

Hey, young man.

Hurry UP-

Or we'll all be in trouble!

Didn't I tell you to

take care of him.

I did take care of him.

Where's he now?

It's too late now.

I'm gonna be in trouble.

Hurry, find him.

Black?

This must be him,

Hurry.

We're gonna be late.

- What?

Hurry.

- What?

This young man is no ordinary fellow.

Excuse me.

Where are we going?

Watch out,

here comes City God!

Make way for City God!

Hey, you.

What's going on?

Hang on.

Mr. Lin's shop?

No idea. it's just how it is.

This won't do.

What if Ms Ginger sees this?

Mr. Lin is rich. it's just business.

Just hurry up.

No!

Put this on.

What are you doing?

Tell me what's going on!

Stop it, all of you!

What are you doing? Hurry!

Where are you going?

Somethings not quite right.

Probably a new move,

for the special occasion.

The new lion dance.

Drunken lion.

Where are you going?

Mr. Lin's fabric store

Sir, you alright?

Fine, fine.

Go clean it up.

Hey, you...

Who started this?

Ginger's fabric store

Who...

dares to lay a finger on Ginger's boys?

Ms Ginger!

Leave it to me.

Mum?

Who are you calling mum?

How old do you think I am?

Tell me.

Who's giving you a hard time?

Him.

Stop pointing,

or I'll have your finger chopped off.

Yeah, chopped off.

Chopped off?

Mr. Lin.

Whatever it is,

I'll deal with it.

How are you going to deal with it?

Ginger.

I didn't open a new store here

to compete with yours.

Mr. Lin.

How would my tiny little tailor shop

ever compete against your grand store?

Let me just ask you though.

God, she know nothing about our slang!

Yo man, you know

how much fabric you need

to make a dress?

What about a kimono? Dude?

No?

No?

No?

Call yourself a professional?

Don't worry though, my shop

right across the street

will never be competition.

Even better, I might

send some customers your way.

Alright? Man?

What...is she talking about?

Honestly, sir,

that accent of hers...

is driving me crazy, too.

And let me tell you.

Your boys will have to be

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