Twin Town Page #7

likes a laugh, but knows where

to draw the thin blue line...

of right and f***ing wrong.

You're a bent copper.

We're bent coppers.

But I'm a bent copper who's going

f***ing places, Greyo, you know?

Cause I got some f***ing ambition,

Do you hear me?

I've got some f***ing ambition.

I have!

And while you do your little

lumps of dope up the club...

I'll be shifting the big f***ing

lumps with the big boys...

cause I'm on my f***ing way, Greyo!

I'm on my f***ing way!

Now pick a f***ing name.

And let's get this fit up business

over and f***ing done with.

Pick one.

You f***ing pick one.

Well jiggle the bag about a bit.

And this week's lottery winner is...

- Who is it?

- Oh f***...

Who is it?

F***ing show me!

Yes.

Dai Rees, the karaoke king.

- No!

- Yes!

- No.

- You discussed the fire with Chip.

- No.

- Yes.

You were seen with a petrol can

on the night of the fire.

- You're f***ed!

- No, no!

- What the fucks this then, Chip?

- I don't f***ing know.

It's the top from the petrol can

used in the f***ing fire.

We found it in your van.

Bollocks you did.

The Lewis twins f***ed up

your karaoke gear in Barons...

and they owed you money,

you decided to go after the dog.

You didn't mean to blow up

the caravan, Dai. Fair enough.

It was just the dog job

that went wrong!

Chip's made a statement!

I was with somebody

on the night of that fire.

You were with Chip Roberts.

- F*** off, Terry.

- Who were you with then?

Who the hell were you with then?

- Terry!

- I was with Bonny Cartwright!

I was with Bonny

f***ing Cartwright!

Bonny f***ing Cartwright...

Yeah I did!

I took a duvet!

I sneaked in the next morning!

How long's it been going on?

Six months! Six months!

He wasn't involved in the fire!

How many of them others at the club

you been dropping 'em for?

- How many of the others?

- There weren't any others!

It wasn't like that!

- Where else did he shag you then?

- Bryn, let her be!

- Tell me!

- Get off!

No, no. I know

where you shagged him.

You brought him back here,

didn't you? F***ed him on the settee!

- Did you f*** him on the settee?

- Enough!

Now you listen to me!

You listen to me!

When they ask you about Dai Rees...

You are gonna tell them exactly

what I tell you. You got it?

F*** off!

Bastard!

F*** you!

"When the weather's fine,

you got women..."

"got women on your mind."

"Have a drink have a drive.

Go out and see what you can find."

"If her daddy's rich,

take her out for a meal."

"If her daddy's poor,

just do what you feel."

"Speed along the lane,

do a ton or a ton and 25."

"When the sun goes down,

you can make it good in a lay by."

"When the weather's fine,

you can reach up and touch the sky."

"When the weather's fine,

You got women..."

"You got women on your mind."

I've got a statement...

- from Bonny.

- Thank f***. Let me see.

Tough titty, Dai.

She denies being with you.

It's your note, Dai.

You can keep it.

Hello?

What?

- I can't help you?

- Who is it?

It's for me.

No.

Why?

Look, I can't.

For fucks sake, you listen to me.

There is no way I can speak to you.

No.

Well, of course I f***ing do.

- Who is it?

- It's Beverly, it's for me.

Where do you want to meet?

- Dad?

- I know.

I'll check the fuses right.

- You burned my Mom and Dad.

- And my sister.

Just 'cause of your f***ing poodle.

Hey look, it wasn't me.

- Please, it wasn't me.

- Who was it then?

- Who was it cunthead?

- Terry Walsh.

Terry Walsh, man!

It wasn't me it was him!

Terry Walsh, alright?

It was his idea.

Yeah, I...

I didn't want anything

to do with it.

Honest!

Honest I didn't!

I didn't want nothing

to do with it!

It was Terry Walsh!

- We'll go have a word with him then.

- Yes, yeah.

- I'll give you anything.

- Can we borrow you car Brynn?

- Yeah! F***ing yours man!

- The speed box?

Have it!

It's on the back!

- Golf clubs?

- Take 'em!

Thank you.

What's your handicap, Bryn?

Not bad.

What happened?

- Bryn was behind the fire.

- I know that.

Bonny was with Dai Rees

the night of the fire.

Brynn mad her sign that statement.

Dai Rees and Chip Roberts have

f*** all to do with that fire.

Where's the coke?

No.

Tell me where it is.

I can unload it.

You'll have enough cash to f*** off

for a while. To f*** off out of it.

You and Bonny.

And Dai and Chip walk free.

- He'll find me.

- I'll take care of Bryn.

Now tell me where the stuff is.

- You get us out of here, Greyo?

- It's a deal.

- You swear?

- I swear.

It's up in the house,

in the garage.

It's in a life jacket in the boat.

OK.

- Where is he now?

- He's going to the club.

- And Bonny?

- The Ponderosa.

Who did he pay to do the fire?

I don't know.

Give it an hour and

go and pack your bags.

Nice and easy, plenty of time.

- It's gonna be ok.

- Ouch.

Yo?

Who is it?

Who is it?

Come one boys.

Boys, in here.

Get in, boys.

Hurry, lads.

Go on.

Get in.

Oh God!

Bonny!

Bonny!

Bonny!

Where are you?

What?

Right then.

Help me!

Help!

He wanted to be

buried at sea, you see.

- Who?

- Fatty, Fatty Lewis.

He wanted to be buried at sea.

Good old boy Fatty.

Right then. If it floats

for more than three seconds...

you've got to have a huge toke

on the bong and hold your breath...

until it f***ing sinks.

What if it sinks in less

than three seconds?

If it f***ing sinks in less

than three seconds...

I'll have a huge toke of the bong...

and hold my breathe for f***ing 25 seconds.

Alright then.

1, 2, 3, 4, 4.5, 5.

F***ing had you!

Do you think this boat'll get

us to Morocco?

I don't know.

Do you think we have

enough petrol?

Aye, probably.

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