Two-Bit Waltz Page #10

young, young, and dumb.

Oh, God.

You're probably right.

Oh, God.

So here's what I'm going to do.

Oh, God.

I am going to pretend that

that meeting never happened.

Oh, God.

I am going to give

you a second chance.

Oh, God.

Really?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Because I don't like to see

someone as young and pretty as

Oh, God.

You end up as unhappy as I am.

Oh, God.

Thanks.

Oh, God.

And you just got to

do one thing for me.

Oh, God.

Follow my dreams?

Oh, God.

Give me a handjob.

Oh, God.

I have to go.

Oh, God.

Wait a minute.

Oh, God.

Wait a minute.

Oh, God.

We could talk about

it later if you want.

Oh, God.

Hey, listen, let's just

keep this between us.

Oh, God.

Oy.

Oh, God.

Maude?

Oh, God.

Can I walk you home?

Oh, God.

So I squandered my fortune.

Oh, God.

Mhm.

Oh, God.

And I got hit on by

my grandma's lawyer.

Oh, God.

Mhm.

Oh, God.

So... so I'm...

Oh, God.

In effect, you're pretty

and you make mistakes.

Oh, God.

What's there to worry about.

Oh, God.

Hey, come on, now.

Oh, God.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Oh, God.

Listen.

Oh, God.

You're too awesome

to ever feel sad.

Oh, God.

And you're too beautiful to

let people treat you badly,

Oh, God.

Me included.

Oh, God.

If you give me the

chance, I'd like

Oh, God.

To stick around, make

sure you stay happy.

Oh, God.

I think I can do

that, if you let me.

Oh, God.

Let's just have some fun.

Oh, God.

Max.

Oh, God.

Mhm.

Oh, God.

I really do love you.

Oh, God.

Maude.

Oh, God.

I can't.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, God.

Don't you have to lock up?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

And the girl knew

her time had come,

Oh, God.

Walking proudly as she walked

into the distant night.

Oh, God.

And the trees echoed, "O

Lord, who art in Heaven, Lord

Oh, God.

Be thy name.

Oh, God.

Thy kingdom come.

Oh, God.

Thy weary dumb."

Oh, God.

Um, where is my house?

Oh, God.

Where is my house?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Uh-huh.

Oh, God.

Uh-huh.

Oh, God.

Well, happy birthday.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Thanks.

Oh, God.

You're welcome.

Oh, God.

You don't want to kill yourself.

Oh, God.

You can't smoke in here, Maude.

Oh, God.

You don't want to kill yourself.

Oh, God.

Sure, I do.

Oh, God.

I got nothing left to live for.

Oh, God.

I got no money.

Oh, God.

I got no prospects.

Oh, God.

Your mother says Granny left

you a charming little figurine.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Jesus f***ing cunting Christ.

Oh, God.

I swear to f***ing

God, is someone else

Oh, God.

Mentions the stupid f***ing

figurine one more f***ing time.

Oh, God.

Take the f***ing figurine.

Oh, God.

I don't want to look at

the f***ing figurine.

Oh, God.

You know what?

Oh, God.

It's... it's stupid.

Oh, God.

Look at it.

Oh, God.

Look at it.

Oh, God.

What the f*** is on...

what are they doing?

Oh, God.

What does that even...

get it away from me.

Oh, God.

Put it behind the lamp.

Oh, God.

I hate it.

Oh, God.

I hate it.

Oh, God.

Put it over there.

Oh, God.

Jesus f***ing

Christ, what is that?

Oh, God.

"People with a genius of

sorts tend to dance in between

Oh, God.

Self-loathing and grandiosity."

Oh, God.

That's very good.

Oh, God.

I didn't write it.

Oh, God.

Granny did.

Oh, God.

"I bequeath to you the people

stuck in the two-bit waltz

Oh, God.

As a reminder."

Oh, God.

I still don't understand

what that means.

Oh, God.

It means, yeah, you're weird.

Oh, God.

Obviously you want

to kill yourself.

Oh, God.

Obviously you're sad.

Oh, God.

Obviously you don't want

to sit in a classroom.

Oh, God.

You're an artist.

Oh, God.

You're a writer.

Oh, God.

You don't want to kill yourself.

Oh, God.

You're a writer.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Yep.

Oh, God.

So what now?

Oh, God.

Write another book, a play.

Oh, God.

Edit this book.

Oh, God.

OK.

Oh, God.

It also means you cannot ever

again complain about anything.

Oh, God.

Never, all right?

Oh, God.

And no more of this

killing yourself bullshit.

Oh, God.

It offends fate, and

it upsets your mother.

Oh, God.

All right.

Oh, God.

Excellent.

Oh, God.

Now, get out of my office.

Oh, God.

Thank you.

Oh, God.

You're welcome.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Hey, Dad.

You know, I wrote that.

Hey, Dad.

Do you like it or...?

Hey, Dad.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

Hey, Dad.

I think your bed

is comfier than mine.

Hey, Dad.

And I missed you.

Hey, Dad.

I missed you too.

Hey, Dad.

Your father has been reading

your book all morning.

Hey, Dad.

Huh.

Hey, Dad.

You're very talented, you know.

Hey, Dad.

I always knew it.

Hey, Dad.

And very determined.

Hey, Dad.

So unlike your father and me.

Hey, Dad.

And... do you know?... I think

that you're the strangest one

Hey, Dad.

In our family.

Hey, Dad.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Dad.

You don't have to be sorry.

Hey, Dad.

No, I am, though.

Hey, Dad.

I think I made the

very ordinary decision

Hey, Dad.

Of being an ungrateful teenager.

Hey, Dad.

Well, we've all

done it, darling.

Hey, Dad.

And I was being a little bit

of a C-word, at any rate.

Hey, Dad.

I was too.

Hey, Dad.

Yes, you were too.

Hey, Dad.

And so were you.

Hey, Dad.

You're so very annoying.

Hey, Dad.

So annoying.

Hey, Dad.

And funny.

Hey, Dad.

And weird and wonderful.

Hey, Dad.

Thank you for

putting up with me.

Hey, Dad.

You're welcome.

Hey, Dad.

I mean it, though.

Hey, Dad.

Well, I kind of

believe in you, eh.

Hey, Dad.

And I think that you'll

succeed with or without school,

Hey, Dad.

Whatever you want to be.

Hey, Dad.

I think I want to be a writer.

Hey, Dad.

Christ, what a ghastly prospect.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Dad.

You've done it.

Hey, Dad.

I've done it.

Hey, Dad.

Well done.

Hey, Dad.

Thank you.

Hey, Dad.

You're going to

be the best writer.

Hey, Dad.

I know.

Hey, Dad.

I know.

Hey, Dad.

Shall I lead the way?

Hey, Dad.

Please do.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Dad.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes