Two-Bit Waltz Page #8
OK.
OK.
Hello?
OK.
Jennifer.
OK.
Oh, God.
I can't think of a worthwhile
idea for my goddamn book,
Oh, God.
And I need a side from God.
Oh, God.
So I was hoping that
I could call you,
Oh, God.
And something you
said would spark
Oh, God.
A brilliant idea in my head.
Oh, God.
And then I would write it,
and everything would be OK,
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
So tell me, tell
me, tell me things.
Oh, God.
What, you want some brilliant
f***ing earth-shattering idea?
Oh, God.
Make it about martians
and love, and don't
Oh, God.
Write like an a**hole.
Oh, God.
You'll do fine.
Oh, God.
What does that even mean?
Oh, God.
Have you given any
thought to what college
Oh, God.
You're going to yet?
Oh, God.
Jesus, have you been
talking to my mother?
Oh, God.
I have been calling
her to check up on you.
Oh, God.
Why don't you just call me?
Oh, God.
It's too stressful.
Oh, God.
Jenny, I...
Oh, God.
Now, your birthday is tomorrow.
Oh, God.
Are you aware of that?
Oh, God.
You need to decide what to do.
Oh, God.
You want to call me tomorrow?
Oh, God.
Maude, focus.
Oh, God.
Go find your mother,
and pick the f***ing
Oh, God.
School you like best.
Oh, God.
You just have to have a
five-minute conversation,
Oh, God.
And then you can go back to
writing your stupid f***ing
Oh, God.
Book.
Oh, God.
And I can go back to
studying and trying
Oh, God.
To earn my way into
college like a normal...
Oh, God.
Jenny, thank you.
Oh, God.
Seriously, you are a
world wonder genius.
Oh, God.
And now I'm going
to do something
Oh, God.
I've never done
before in my life
Oh, God.
And hang up on you,
because my brain is
Oh, God.
On fire with my next great work.
Oh, God.
So I love you.
Oh, God.
Call me tomorrow.
Oh, God.
Maude.
Oh, God.
OK.
Oh, God.
So it's love.
Oh, God.
Totally.
Oh, God.
And aliens.
Oh, God.
Totally.
Oh, God.
Like heartbreak.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Because he's an alien.
Oh, God.
Right.
Oh, God.
And she's a girl.
Oh, God.
Yes.
Oh, God.
And his tendencies are alien.
Oh, God.
Precisely.
Oh, God.
And he leaves.
Oh, God.
Gone.
Oh, God.
But she still loves him.
Oh, God.
Love.
Oh, God.
Heartbreak.
Oh, God.
Yes.
Oh, God.
Alien tendencies.
Oh, God.
Mm.
Oh, God.
Double meaning.
Oh, God.
Totally deep.
Oh, God.
You like it?
Oh, God.
Love it.
Oh, God.
Recap.
Oh, God.
Aliens... boy, girl.
Oh, God.
Boy is alien.
Oh, God.
Girl is human.
Oh, God.
He breaks heart.
Oh, God.
She is sad.
Oh, God.
Baked into a delicious
morsel that is the novel.
Oh, God.
Copy?
Oh, God.
Copy.
Oh, God.
Let's run with it.
Oh, God.
You guys, Maude has
an idea for her story.
Oh, God.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, God.
Yay!
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Hello?
Oh, God.
Mom?
Oh, God.
Bernie?
Oh, God.
Hello?
Oh, God.
Is anyone here?
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, my god.
Oh, God.
What?
Oh, God.
There was once a man who
didn't know where he came from,
Oh, God.
And he fell in love with a girl.
Oh, God.
When they met, she told
him that she liked him,
Oh, God.
And she thought it
was unfortunate.
Oh, God.
He asked her why,
and she told him
Oh, God.
It was because she didn't
like to meet new people.
Oh, God.
And then he knew that
he liked her too.
Oh, God.
He was very unhappy,
and he wore it well.
Oh, God.
And she was sweet, and
Oh, God.
He made her upset,
because he never worried.
Oh, God.
But she wanted him to be
happy, even if she wasn't.
Oh, God.
And so she put on a happy face.
Oh, God.
And they left the place that
they had once called home,
Oh, God.
In search of something that
they could call their very, very
Oh, God.
Own.
Oh, God.
They traveled for
a really long time
Oh, God.
And finally came to an
agreement and found a place
Oh, God.
To settle down.
Oh, God.
And soon the woman
was with child.
Oh, God.
What when it came
time for the child
Oh, God.
To be born, something changed.
Oh, God.
And then the men disappeared.
Oh, God.
And the baby was born.
Oh, God.
And the days got colder and the
nights got longer and the woman
Oh, God.
Got thinner.
Oh, God.
And the child was alone, because
the woman eventually laid down
Oh, God.
To die.
Oh, God.
And the man looked down on the
child from his home planet,
Oh, God.
Too sad to do anything.
Oh, God.
And the world
continued to run with
Oh, God.
Sad, bleak, gray existence.
Oh, God.
Never date a martian.
Oh, God.
The end.
Oh, God.
What do you think?
Oh, God.
What's happening?
Oh, God.
It's an idea.
Oh, God.
It's an idea for a story.
Oh, God.
What do you think?
Oh, God.
Do you think it's any good?
Oh, God.
Yes.
Oh, God.
Dad.
Oh, God.
Do you think love really exists?
Oh, God.
No.
Oh, God.
Right.
Oh, God.
Cool.
Oh, God.
You've done it.
Oh, God.
I've done it.
Oh, God.
Now write it.
Oh, God.
I'll right it.
Oh, God.
It's time.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, really?
Oh, God.
General consensus?
Oh, God.
I vote yes.
Oh, God.
That's one for yes.
Oh, God.
I also vote yes.
Oh, God.
That's two for yes.
Oh, God.
Maude?
Oh, God.
No.
Oh, God.
Two for yes, one for no.
Oh, God.
Now, for me, I vote yes.
Oh, God.
Recap.
Oh, God.
That's three for
yes, one for no.
Oh, God.
General consensus, yes.
Oh, God.
Majority rules, ie, you
write your book tonight.
Oh, God.
Tonight?
Oh, God.
Tonight.
Oh, God.
Tonight?
Oh, God.
Tonight.
Oh, God.
Tonight?
Oh, God.
Tonight.
Oh, God.
Tonight?
Oh, God.
Tonight is the night.
Oh, God.
I don't understand
what the problem is.
Oh, God.
There wasn't a problem.
Oh, God.
Isn't a problem.
Oh, God.
No, no, there wasn't a problem.
Oh, God.
I see.
Oh, God.
Yes.
Oh, God.
What happened then?
Oh, God.
I finished it.
Oh, God.
You finished it?
Oh, God.
I finished it.
Oh, God.
You finished it?
Oh, God.
Yes.
Oh, God.
The book?
Oh, God.
That's right.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
And then it was...
Oh, God.
Yes, and then it
was my first day.
Oh, God.
Uh-huh.
Oh, God.
Uh-huh.
Oh, God.
My birthday, yes.
Oh, God.
Hi.
Oh, God.
Hey.
Oh, God.
So.
Oh, God.
I finished it.
Oh, God.
I finished the book,
and it's great.
Oh, God.
And now you're sleeping in a
pile of your own self-loathing?
Oh, God.
Bernie, I finished it.
Oh, God.
What should we do to celebrate?
Oh, God.
It's your birthday.
Oh, God.
Oh no.
Oh, God.
Happy birthday, my
dearest dumpling.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
Get dressed.
Oh, God.
Get dressed, get, dressed.
Oh, God.
We're already hoards upon
hoards amount of late.
Oh, God.
For what?
Oh, God.
The meeting.
Oh, God.
The meeting with
the lawyer, darling.
Oh, God.
The will.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Bernie, darling, if
you don't leave shortly,
Oh, God.
You're going to have
to hitchhike to school,
Oh, God.
And you know how I
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Two-Bit Waltz" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/two-bit_waltz_22429>.
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