Two Can Play That Game Page #4

But never after breaking up.

Look, in order to grasp this,

you got to think like them,

to read between the lines.

You got to ask yourself,

"When she offered to pay

did she want to come up

out of the pocket?" Think about it.

On a date, what woman

wants to pay for the meal?

None! Zero. I'm 29 years old.

I haven't met a woman who does.

So you can safely conclude

this is not about the money.

So, what is this about?

She wants you to know she could

come out of pocket if she wanted to.

This is a demonstration

of her independence to you.

She's trying to tell you

that you can't do nothing for her.

You can't even buy

her damn dinner!

Ha-ha!

She'd starve before

you come out the pocket.

That's deep. That's some really

deep sh*t right there.

Now we know his crime.

He went out to dinner

with a coworker

after working late,

had dinner, did a little dancing,

got caught

and now he feels bad.

Actually, that's not too bad.

However,

if your case is worse, determine

if you want your man back.

If you don't, to hell with him.

Keep on stepping.

But if you want him back,

punish him.

Cardinal rule no. 2:

When your man messes up,

no matter how small it is,

you gots to punish him.

Punish him hard.

Day two.

What you all think?

Mmm...

Prommy.

Yeah, too prommy.

No, too prommy.

Hated it.

Yeah.

All right, okay. What we thinking?

Better.

You need something

with a little green.

Like a money-green.

And spandex.

Karen.

She know I'm playing with her.

Stop it.

All right. What about this one?

Better.

What? Now, see, this is a size 12.

Why did you bring me

in this skinny-ass store?

What you gonna do?

Bow! You see that there?

I'll sew them together,

and pack all this up in there.

This the front, this the back.

Work it.

I'm big, beautiful and loving it.

Day two and three for you

are a breeze. For him, it's hell.

Keith! Are you watching the game?

I'm hearing, and what God says is,

"When I show you the truth..."

If I stay out late Saturday, I attend church

via TV Sunday morning.

I keep up with my religion.

What up? This is Shant.

At the beep, do your thing.

This is Keith.

I called you yesterday.

You didn't return my call.

If you're there, pick up.

If you're there, pick up.

Cool. Call me when you get in.

In love and war,

maintain military silence.

Don't speak or consort with

the enemy. Silence is golden.

You can do more with silence

than speaking.

What up? This is Shant.

At the beep, do your thing.

I'm picking up some tickets

to the Lauryn Hill concert.

So just let me know

if you wanna go.

See? He think he's slick.

You know I love Lauryn Hill.

That's okay.

I'm going to church anyway.

Like Mama said, better to get

there late than not at all.

Lauryn Hill. No, you didn't.

No, I can't call. I'm not gonna call.

Called twice already.

Can't be desperate.

Okay. Oh, no.

Okay, all right. No.

Aww. It's you, man.

Who else are you expecting, dog?

Come on, you're not even ready.

I forgot I had these briefs

to prepare, so I can't make it today.

You're not thinking about Shant?

Come on, man. No, man.

Keith.

I'm not thinking about that girl.

All right. I see you later, man.

Tell them I'm sorry

I couldn't make it.

I'm about to be Tiger Woods.

He's still playing it cool.

He's upset,

but he has things under control.

His ego won't let him go far.

So, what do you do?

You break him. Push his buttons.

To do this, you need a PR agent

and a flunky.

Okay, who's the PR agent,

and who's the flunky?

Hey, sister, how you...?

Hey, Trent.

Shant.

How you doing?

Good.

Oh, my brother. My brother.

Good to see you.

What's all this?

Your PR agent should be

watching you.

He must be a friend of your man's.

Don't do anything sleazy.

Just be a little too friendly.

You do this by holding your

flunky too long

and hugging him too tight.

Damn! That sure was

one hell of a hug.

I'm just happy to see

a Christian brother.

It's good to see you.

I can't wait to holler out.

Have a blessed week.

I sure will.

My brother.

Bless on, baby.

Bless.

Contrary to popular belief,

men are big gossipers too.

They love to talk about something

they done seen or know.

You won't believe what

we saw at church.

What y'all see?

Trent and Shant was

all hugged up.

Keith's Shant?

Hell, yeah.

What are you talking about?

I know what I saw.

They was basically grinding up

in the lobby. Tight.

That was just a Christian hug.

Sometime she just feels the spirit,

and she wanna spread the word.

"Christian hug," my ass.

I know what a Christian hug is.

When girls give you a little hug

with their asses out

so you got that space in case

you get a little excited.

You don't want them to feel

your man-man in church.

But there was no gap.

They was hugged up tight.

Why she hugged up on him

like that anyway

knowing he's the major player?

Trent's a player? He go to church.

All the players go to church.

Why? Because all the freaks

go to church.

I ain't lying. Patrick, am I lying?

Am I lying?

Go to a club Saturday night.

Go to church Sunday morning.

I guarantee you the same ho's

you see on the dance floor,

you see Sunday morning

singing in the choir.

That's real.

You got the deaconess,

you got the usher board.

Please!

Why wouldn't a player

hang out in church?

Club on Saturday,

how much is it to get in?

Fifteen dollars.

Fifteen dollars.

You go to church Sunday,

how much?

Nigga, that sh*t is free!

Trust me, bro. A whole gang

of players be going to church.

You might be right.

I'm right.

Tell you right now,

Trent fixing to wax that ass.

When you're gossiped about,

there's always backlash involved.

But trust me,

the tradeoff is worth it.

Shant, pick up. It's Keith.

Give me a call, okay?

You're still not in,

so just give me a call.

It's me again.

I've called you eight times.

I don't know where you are.

Where you at? Where you be?

What's up? It's me again. It's 6:00.

Yeah, yeah, 6:
00.

Just waiting for your call.

I know you're not still in church,

so give me a call.

Yeah, yeah, it's 6:00.

This is the last time

I'm calling your ass. Peace.

What does she think

this is? Please.

Okay, I decided to call you back.

Don't know where you are.

Just call me, all right?

Shant, it's 11:
00.

All right. Bye-bye.

It's called tough love.

Day four.

The buying power

of African-Americans

is up 12 percent in groceries.

It's tapering off in alcohol largely

due to special interest groups.

I think we can improve

if we limit our marketing

and focus on

after-school projects,

thereby helping the community.

People will see us still targeting

African-Americans

and providing

a community service.

So we're redirecting our energies.

Exactly, Bill.

We're turning it into

a positive relationship.

That's very good.

Thanks.

Well done.

Look at these people.

Notice anything different?

Moi. I'm 28 years old,

a sister and still made partner.

Keith should be calling

any second now.

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