Two Can Play That Game Page #5

Hello?

Keith is on line two.

Good. Tell him I'm busy.

You've been waiting for his call.

Tell him I'm busy.

Women.

I'm a stinker, ain't I?

I'm sorry. Mr. Fenton,

she's still busy.

Come on, Keith!

I know you're in there, man.

Keith!

I know you can see me,

because I can see you!

Come on, man.

Don't give me that look.

Look into the light, Keith!

Look into the light!

I'm coming around!

I must admit I feel sorry for Keith.

I hate to see people suffer.

But you know what?

You can't show weakness.

Men only understand strength.

If they don't feel pain, there'll be

no gain. No pain, no gain.

What the hell is wrong with you?

You ain't come to work today.

Don't look like

you washed your ass.

Keith, what's wrong?

No, man. I'm...

I think I'm sick.

You ain't sick, man.

No, man. I mean, I'm sick, bro.

You wanna feel my head?

I think I got the flu.

You ain't got

no damn flu.

No, I got... I'm telling you.

I feel woozy.

Woozy?

No, dog. You whipped.

She got you laid out

like a $2 crack ho.

You look like you waiting on a hit.

It's sad, bro.

This sad.

Look at you.

I'll go call your mama.

They'll take your player card

for this. I'll see to it.

You have 11 messages.

That's what I'm talking about.

By this time, he gets advice

from his boys, which can get sticky.

So whatever you do,

don't talk to him.

Phone, two-way, pager.

Nothing, nada.

But be careful, he might pull

a fast one on you and just come over.

And then you're in trouble.

Keith.

What's going on?

Doing all right? Okay.

I heard you were sick.

You know better.

How you feeling?

I'm feeling real good right now.

Did you do what I said?

Relax.

Did you do what I said?

Have a seat. I'll break it down.

I won't until you tell me

if you did what I told you.

I did exactly what you said.

Exactly what you told me.

Damn.

I got over there about 10:00,

all dressed up,

looking good and suave

and debonair.

Like Denzel?

Better than Denzel.

Sh*t, let me sit down then.

Come in.

So she invited me in.

Walked in there all calm,

cool and collected.

Uh-oh.

Started to dim the lights all over.

Got some soft music playing.

She knew I was there

to make a move.

Sat down on the couch,

looking all good

like chocolate Hagen-Dazs

ice cream.

With the nuts.

With the nuts.

Looking all luscious and lickety.

I was there to seduce.

Gave her that Denzel eye thing,

then a little L.L. Lip action.

It was about to be on.

- So did you hit?

Relax, relax.

No, did you hit?

Relax, all right?

Come on. You hit it, right?

- Started moving in for the kill.

- And then?

She too smart for that.

Told you that.

But plan B.

So you had plan B?

Started an argument.

Didn't matter about what.

I got her yelling at me.

I drew her into me emotionally.

After it was over, I just...

I felt so good, like jogging.

- See, that's it.

The transference of frustration

from one party to the next.

You right about that.

Of course.

You take physics?

Oh, yeah.

What's the law of thermodynamic

energy by Newton?

Energy is neither lost nor destroyed.

I remember.

It is transferred from one party

to the next.

Right.

We all experience it.

Feeling good?

Feeling real good now.

Somebody full of negative energy

leaves you feeling

completely drained.

Sucks it out of you.

Transference of energy.

That's what you did.

You transferred your negative energy

and emotions onto her.

You flipped the script.

Was I flipping it?

You flipped it.

Women, they emotional creatures.

Preach.

Once you tap into their emotions,

you're halfway there.

Testify!

It doesn't matter what type of emotion.

I'll beat a drum.

Once those emotional floodgates

are open,

you're home free.

Home free!

They get confused.

Confused.

Bewildered.

Bewildered!

Lethargic.

Lethargic!

Whoo!

Amen, amen!

Amen, baby!

Yeah, amen!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Whoo!

Will somebody please

cut that damn music?

Day five is a bad day.

That's all I gotta say.

Day six is a bad day,

but not as bad as five.

So he turned the tables on you

with the transfer-of-emotion sh*t.

I ain't gonna lie.

That sh*t does work.

So now you got to turn

the tables back on him.

But until you do that,

what must you do? Hm?

Occupy your damn time.

Stay busy.

Y'all know what I mean.

So in times like these,

this is what I do, ladies.

I break out the old black book.

While you're thinking about him,

he's having a good time

not thinking about you.

Tyrone.

Call Tyrone.

Come down low.

Put it in my face.

I want it to be funky.

Ow! Ooh!

How you doing?

You were right, man.

I feel like my old self again.

Told you.

You didn't know a big man

could move like this.

How do you like that?

Whoa, whoa!

What's going on?

Spin it around on me, baby.

Spin it. Whoo! You my own

little spinning top.

Hey, whoa. What's going on?

I'm enjoying myself.

I see you.

You see me?

What's going on down there?

Turn around.

I'm glad you made it

to my promotion.

It's nice to mix

business with pleasure.

Hey! That's the nipple.

I know.

Business with pleasure.

Always like the pleasure of business.

I hear it.

At events like this,

it's nice to have your lawyer

Whoa, hey!

Close to you.

I'm a little tired. I'm gonna go rest.

Tony, can I see you?

In a minute, baby.

Bring your ass over here.

I'll be right back.

What's up, dog?

She's trying to rape me.

You say that

like that's a bad thing.

Look at that. Look at her.

She is fine.

- I know she's fine, man.

But putting her titties on my back,

grabbing my stuff?

Do you know how much I'd pay

to have her grab my stuff?

Plus, dog, if she was ugly,

I would've told you to step off.

But look at that.

Dog, she bad!

Look at them titties.

Nice, big old breastices.

They're just wanting you

to suck on them.

They're staring.

That small waist leading down

to that plump ass.

She shaking that ass for you,

saying, "Keith, come eat me."

Put it on your chin.

Plus, she got a good job,

and on top of that, she a freak.

You can hit that

from the back. Oh, sh*t.

Look at her.

What more do you want, man?

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

If you want to completely

get over Shant,

you have to date other people.

Why not start with that?

I'm gonna go smack ass.

I suggest you let her

smack your ass.

Shant, I really thought you forgot

about me. I'm glad you called.

Day six is a real drag.

You're on a date and start to think,

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Stick through it.

Go on many dates.

It's all part of the 10-day process.

I thought you weren't

concerned about me.

I thought...

- you avoided me.

But now I know you can't...

- do without Big Papa.

Ray-Ray.

Your Pooh Bear.

Day seven.

I got an announcement.

What, baby?

I finished my 10-day program.

Oh, Lord.

Bam!

It works! Michael proposed, guys!

I'm so happy for you.

Congratulations!

You worked it out.

It's not that I'm not happy for her.

I've got my own problems.

You can't be happy until you get

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