Two For The Money Page #4

- That's Southie.

- Let's make some serious money.

- What's the game plan?

- You know what?

You're a private security guard.

Bang a cheerleader extract the information.

Well it was a substantial sum.

Walter he's a little miffed at our picks.

Just do what you got to do.

It says right here

that the minimum bet is five grand.

Reggie Hawks. Best salesman ever. Ever.

I don't have time for this kind of sh*t

Jimmy. I know you're a loser.

If you were a big winner

you wouldn't pay to call me.

You got your head

outta your ass yet?

Is this my office?

- Well do you like it?

- What's not to like Walter? Thank you.

Miami New York point spread

just went up to ten.

- What do you think?

- Miami is a lock. Are you kidding me?

This is Jerry my top handicapper.

Came to me straight out of grad school.

Whoa. Phone boy makes good huh?

It's a big jump from 900 numbers.

Make sure you don't get

a nosebleed up here. I'm just kidding.

- Nice meeting you. Gotta get to work.

- Nice meeting you too.

Say by the way tonight's game...

New York wins that outright.

Really?

They always play the Fish tough

and tonight it's foregone.

I wish I had a pen because I would

never write that down. You know...

college is right for you.

You have to work your way up

to pro ball around here. Good luck.

Rookie's got balls.

I almost like it but I don't. Good luck.

I get that all day.

You know I got three guys who can

pick games I got 20 who can sell.

I never had one who could do both.

- What? You mean me?

- No not you.

I'm talking about John Anthony.

John Anthony doesn't exist.

Oh? Well I'm shocked

because I'm standing in his office

and you're sitting in his chair.

So you want me to sell.

- Like those guys out there?

- Yes.

Big bettors don't want middlemen.

They want the guy giving them the picks.

- You got a problem with selling?

- No. I don't have a...

There's a few choice phrases we use here.

You just start with those.

Now here's an easy one.

I don't want your money.

I want your bookie's f***ing money.

Give it back to me.

I don't want your money.

I want your bookie's money.

I don't want your money.

I want your bookie's money.

That's not bad.

- What happened to "f***"?

- What about it?

- I said it. You don't use it?

- Nah.

- Really? A religious thing?

- No it's not a religious thing. I just...

It was all right for Chaucer 600 years ago.

Hey! I don't want to embarrass you

but I gotta do this.

I got someone here

who has a problem saying "f***. "

- Hold on.

- F*** you!

Look at that.

A lot of brunettes.

Where are we headed?

We're gonna continue your education.

- Hi. Is this the meeting?

- Yes yes. Come on in. Hi.

You'd think with two mortgages out

the repo guys staking out my car

my job on the line and my wife

threatening to leave that I'd stop

instead of staying in the chase

doubling down.

It's a disease Leon.

Yeah man. Look admitting

you have a problem is the first step.

Yeah.

I guess I must be doing pretty good

because I've got one big problem.

- Don't worry about it Leon.

- It's OK Leon.

- Hang in there Leon.

- Hey.

My name is Walter

and I'm new to this group...

Hey Walter.

...but I am not new to these meetings.

I've been coming 18 years now.

As a matter of fact friends

this is my 936th consecutive meeting.

Hey man well done.

Well done is right.

And in all that time I haven't once been

to a track or a casino or bet on a game.

Hand to God not a cent.

So I know where you're coming from Leon.

Believe me I know. I heard your story

and it's something I relate to

but I gotta say if I learned anything

it's that gambling is not your problem.

- It's not?

- Not even close.

I don't know how to say this without

sounding rude but you're a lemon Leon.

Like a bad car there is something

inherently defective in you.

And you. And you. And me.

And all of us in this room.

We're all lemons.

We look like everybody else

but what makes us different is our defect.

You see most gamblers

when they go to gamble they go to win.

When we go to gamble

we go to lose subconsciously.

Me I never feel better or more alive

than when they're raking the chips away

not bringing them in and everybody

knows what I'm talking about.

Hell even when we win it's just

a matter of time before we give it all back.

But when we lose

now there's another story when we lose.

I'm talking about the kind of loss

that makes your a**hole pucker up

to the size of a decimal point.

You know what I mean? You've just

recreated the worst possible nightmare

this side of malignant cancer

for the 20th goddamn time

and you're standing there

and you suddenly realize:

"Hey I'm still here.

"I'm still breathing.

"I'm still alive. "

Us lemons we f*** sh*t up

all the time on purpose

because we constantly

need to remind ourselves we're alive.

Leon gambling's not your problem.

It's this f***ed-up need

to feel something

to convince yourself you exist.

That's the problem.

Hey you're the guy I see on TV

every weekend selling betting picks.

- So what?

- Oh yeah he's right. This guy...

This guy peddles a tout service on TV.

You read the charter buddy?

We all left our jobs at the door.

Are you gonna throw an ex-alcoholic

bartender out of an AA meeting?

- What?

- You're gonna do that? That's bogus.

- Hey didn't you come in with this jerk?

- Come on.

I don't like the feeling I'm getting.

If you rethink things here's my card.

We're topping 80% this season.

Put it in your wallet.

- You never know when you'll relapse.

- Get out!

What the f*** was that?

- What did you just say?

- That was bullshit.

- You gave your business card...

- No no. You said f***.

- So what?

- Brandon. So what? That's great man.

It was all worth it just from that one word.

From the one word f*** I could feel

your frustration I could feel your anger.

Man I'm proud of you.

His name is Amir.

He's a dime bettor.

Owns a dry cleaners.

- We got him for the subscription.

- Amir...

He's on line one. Mm ding ding.

Mm.

Good morning.

Walter wanted

your first call to be special.

- OK. Go get 'em tiger.

- You got it.

Me-me-me-me-ow-ow-ow!

Mm-hm.

- Amir my man. John Anthony here.

- Yes. Hello.

Yes, hello to you, sir.

How's your morning?

Mine started off outstanding.

Not as outstanding as I plan my weekend being.

Billy listen.

Thanks for the $15000 FedEx.

It's called a three-team parlay.

It pays six to one.

How much can you lay? 20 grand?

Are you crazy?

No way. Listen

I was betting a thousand a game.

I've got a game that I'm calling

my lock of the decade OK? Texas v OU.

Now Texas is receiving

six points in this game.

- They're gonna win it by two touchdowns.

- Really?

- I like Oklahoma in that game.

- You do?

I shouldn't have called.

Thank you for your time.

Hold on. I've got Vegas on the line.

When we get our 30 grand from last night

then I tell you who he likes next week.

The only thing you gotta know about any

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