Two for the Seesaw Page #6

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Twist and twist and twist...

And touch, touch, touch, touch...

(phone)

- Back, back, back...

- Hello?

- Gittel, it's me.

- Hiya, Sophie.

- How's the world treating you?

- My stomach's a pain in the behind,

otherwise no complaints.

- Come over to a party on Friday night?

- Friday?

I'll check with Jerry,

see what he's got in mind first.

- I'd like to know too.

- What kind of remark is that?

- Only talking. Long time for you and him.

- It's not so long.

- Wally, you knew in 15 minutes.

- Wally was different.

- What about Max?

- Which Max?

The Max from Rosendale.

No one's ever bought me a loft,

and Molly's moving in a new class.

- Seymour always acted nice.

- He used to buy me a Mr Goodbar.

He still owes me 70 bucks I'll never see.

The fact is, till I met Jerry

I was a born victim.

Why can't he...

- Huh?

- Take him home, meet your mother.

Think I'm crazy? Meet Mummy

and he'll leave New York in a balloon.

- [Music:
] The landlady's union is a no-good...

- Hold on, Sophie.

[Music:
] From the bosses [Music:]

Here's your blood money. My blood.

- 12 bucks, right?

- Pays you up till the 10th.

- Yeah.

- You need a loan?

Not if I have to pay it back.

- I'm back.

- So go on about Jerry.

You don't understand about Jerry.

He plays golf. I ever know

anybody who plays golf?

- Big deal!

- What do you know?

Not a painter, by you, is nothing!

Let's not fight. You working, huh?

Yeah. Working at my recital.

Well, I'm trying to.

It's kinda hard to get going after so long.

- Maybe I'll take up golf instead.

- Honey, you should take up matrimony.

What's the rush?

The divorce isn't through.

Should he be a bigamist?

- Has he ever discussed the subject?

- No, not yet.

- Why not?

- Sophie, you're getting me mad.

- Why?

- You're pestering me.

- I'm your friend.

- Be an enemy, quit pestering me!

(ringing)

- Taubman Associates.

- Hi, Gittel Mosca.

- Mr Ryan?

- He's on a call.

- I've nothing to do, I'll hold on.

- It's Omaha, Nebraska, it may be a while.

Oh, well, maybe I won't wait.

Long distance call to Omaha

could go on for a long time.

(phone)

- Yeah, hello?

- Hello, darling.

- Hiya. Jerry, I was just leaving.

- I heard a rumour you called.

Yeah. You were on long distance

to Omaha, the operator said.

It wasn't important.

Sophie and Oscar are having a thing,

Friday night, you want to go?

Ooh. Taubman's having a thing, too.

How about coming to that with me?

No, you go to yours and I'll go to Sophie

and Oscar's. We'll both have a good time.

We don't have to be glued.

- What's the matter, honey?

- Nothing. I'm in a hurry, that's all.

- Meeting me for a coffee?

- No, I can't meet you for anything.

- Why not?

- Well, because...

I've to go down three flights,

cross the square, catch a bus

and be at Larry's in half an hour.

Talk later.

(music, chatter, laughter)

- Hi, Sophie.

- Thought you were at a fancy shindig.

No, I blew it. Thought I'd surprise my girl.

Gittel isn't here.

- They left about an hour ago.

- They?

Yeah, sure. A fella. A guest.

Nothing wrong, is there?

She's single and has a right to see people.

Of course. Sophie, tell me,

why are you being so unpleasant?

- You don't mind my asking?

- No, I don't mind.

- I'm a friend of Gittel's.

- So am I.

I don't think so.

Any time I find I'm wrong,

I'll be glad to apologise.

- Well, thank you. Good night, Sophie.

- Good night.

(clock chimes)

(slurred) Oh, come on, give me a kiss.

(car door slams)

- Hello?

- Dr Kurtzman?

- Who's calling, please?

- I'm calling, who are you?

Are you really there or one

of those answering nuisances?

- This is the service. Is it important?

- Yes. It's an emergency.

- Who's calling?

- Gittel Mosca. Tell him I'm very sick.

- Your number, please?

- Canal 6-2098.

- I'll have the doctor call you.

- Thanks.

Oh, hiya, Jerry. You have a good time

at your party?

Not as good as you.

- Are you drunk, at least?

- Yeah, I had a couple.

I'd a terrible thirst all night

and I didn't stop to think.

- Or think to stop.

- Who were you with?

Mm? Jake.

He's a very modern-type painter.

Is that why you kissed him good night?

A patroness of the arts?

- Where were you?

- As all week, one jump behind you.

I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.

Didn't you go to Frank Taubman's?

Light the gas, will you, honey?

I'm awful cold.

- You've drunk enough.

- It's water.

What's the matter, you don't trust me?

After you left Sophie's with this wrestler,

where did you go?

You been one jump behind,

you probably know anyway. His place.

For over two hours? Doing what?

Looking at his modern-type paintings?

- What do you see, a fortune?

- Yours. I don't like it.

Ye gods, I had about six drinks.

Am I ruined for life?

I'm not talking about getting drunk.

Did you go to bed with him?

You feel like crying, Jerry?

I feel like crying.

You did, didn't you?

- Poor Jerry.

- Did you go to bed with him?

What if I did, is it the end of the world?

Why?

- Why?

- What's it matter?

What's it matter?

Do you really care so little, about me?

- Jerry.

- About yourself?

- I got better things to worry.

- Why did you want to?

I don't know why. Besides, who said I did.

You're gonna drive me to drink.

Why did you go home with him?

I used to go with Jake, two or three

years ago. I had a couple of drinks.

- A case of Auld Lang Syne.

- Why drink?

What am I, getting analysed?

You were supposed to be at Taubman's.

- I asked you to go.

- Don't want to go there. Stuffed shirts.

- Why did you go home with him?

- I got plastered, I said so!

- Want a written confession?

- Don't walk away, I'm talking to you.

Go ahead, talk! Lawyers! Boy!

You don't get plastered and flush us

down the drain for no reason at all.

- What did I do? What's your complaint?

- Who's complaining? You are!

- Haven't I a right?

- Don't get off the subject.

- I'm on the subject. You and me.

- That's never been the subject, Jerry.

What did I do that pushed you home

with what's-his-name, Jerk?

- Jake.

- Jerk.

You're pushing me home, is that it?

Get rid of me and try anything in pants

that you may have overlooked?

Oh, let me alone, I've got a headache.

(sighs) OK.

We'll talk it out in the morning, when

you're on your feet and in your right mind.

- Jerry?

- What?

- You don't like me any more?

- I hate you. Is that passionate enough?

Come on, turn over.

- I can do it.

- Well, don't. As a big favour.

You don't hate me.

You just feel sorry for me.

What makes you think you're so pathetic?

Come on, pull.

You ever saw me dancing around that loft,

you'd think me pathetic.

I sit there and wait for ideas,

like I'm marooned or something.

You know what, Jerry?

- I'm not a dancer at all.

- Is that why you got loaded?

If I fix hot milk will you drink it?

Steady your stomach?

How come we always talk about

my stomach? I got no other charms?

Get away from me! I'll do it!

No, I don't want your lousy favour.

Is that how you're gonna sleep it off?

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