Two Little Boys Page #8

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Well, Nige, if you jump off a cliff,

then so do I.

And when I hit the bottom and we both

make it to the next life or whatever,

I'll be your best f***in' friend

in that one too.

Aghhhh!

(Deano grunts, groans) F***!

(Deano and Nige scream)

Hey, Deano. Am I dead?

(Coughs, splutters)

(Nige splutters)

- Nige!

No, you're not dead, Nige.

Oh, Gav. Gav's OK?

Yeah, he's fine.

He's halfway up the cliff over there.

F***in' lighter.

Where's my Playboy lighter?

NIGE:
Hey!

Hey!

They can't hear you, Nige.

They wear headsets.

Yahhh!

We're over here!

Nige. They know we're here.

That's not what

you should be worried about.

What you should be worried about is

the fact that that's a police chopper.

(Imitates siren) Woo- ooo, woo-ooo!

You know, the cops?

Bet they're real keen

to hear your story.

What are you gonna tell 'em?

You're f***ed.

See, the thing is...

I could help you, though.

I could make it go away like that.

- Eh?

- Yeah, that's right.

I know you think my plans are sh*t.

But I've got a plan

to get you out of this.

And it's a pretty f***in' good one.

But why should I?

Why should I even bother, Nige?

I could've not got involved in this.

Life would've been sweet as for me.

But I did.

I did it without thinking.

You know why?

Oi.

You know why, Nige?

'Cause I'd take a bullet for you.

Like, literally. Think about that.

If someone shot a gun at you...

...I'd stand in front of the path

and I would take the bullet...

...in my heart.

But would you take a bullet for me?

Here we go! Yeah!

(Screaming)

(Gunshot)

Yeah, I would.

(Sniffs) What?

You'd take a bullet for me?

F***, man... you're my best friend.

(Deano breathes heavily)

- My brother.

(Deano sobs)

I wouldn't even have to think

about it.

I'd just... Take a bullet.

Of course I would.

(Sobs)

(Deano sobs)

F***, yeah.

# If you need somebody

# Free, free, set them free

# Call my name

# Free, free, set them free

# And if you want someone #

# Free, free, set them free #

Oi.

Nige.

# If you want to keep something precious

# Free, free, set them free

# You got to lock it up

and throw away the key

# If you want to hold on

to your possession

# Don't even think about me

# Free, free, set them free

# If you love somebody

# Love somebody

# If you love someone

# Love somebody

# If you love somebody

# Love somebody

# If you love someone #

# Love somebody #

It's gonna be alright, Nige.

Now listen, here's what

we tell the cops, alright?

I'll do the talking.

Isn't it amazing? It's mad!

# If you love somebody

# Love somebody

# If you love someone

# Love somebody

# If you love somebody

# Love somebody

# If you love someone

Set them free

# Oh, yeah

# Set them free

# Free, free, set them free

# Oh, set them free

# Free, free, set them free

# Free, free, set them free #

It may not look like I've come that far

since that night when I killed Jeurgen,

but I reckon I've come a long way.

In a weird way, I can thank Deano.

He was amazing with the cops.

He told them he tried to kill Gav,

he told them he ran over Jeurgen.

And all I have to do is visit him

once a week in prison.

DEANO:
Here she is.

Pfft! Looks like you're the mayor

of Dorksville!

Which is fair enough

when you think about it.

You know, 15 years from now,

I'm out.

We're back flatting together.

It's gonna be classic.

(Sighs) Oi, Nige...

Come here.

Ow!

- (Laughs)

- F*** your face.

I've never seen him happier.

Prison has been the best thing

for Deano.

(Deano and Nige laugh)

Deano doesn't know this,

but I'm still hanging out with Gav.

Gav quit his security job

and used his compo payout

to write a book

about his close encounters

with wildlife in the Catlins.

This one is called

The Reluctant Dolphin.

(Reads) 'The brave little dolphin felt

the powerful thighs of the warrior

around his flippers.

On him he made it to the shore.

He blessed the dolphin and renamed him

Tangaroa, god of the sea. '

(Applause)

Monica and I are having

an on-again, off-again relationship

that is becoming more like

an off-again, off-again

with an occasional root.

The thing is with women, Nige,

is you have to empathise with them.

Like, when a woman has her period,

you know what you should do?

You should imagine punching yourself

in the balls.

That way, you can know what kind of pain

she's going through, you know.

Yeah. Good one, Gav.

You're welcome, bro.

(Groans)

(Sighs)

- Nige.

(Breathes heavily)

Are you OK, Nige?

Oooh. Yeah.

Gav gives such great advice.

At the moment, I'm in a lot of pain.

But it's worth it for moments like this.

(Groans)

(Moans, squeals)

And me, I've changed so much

it's like I've had my head gasket

replaced.

Now I've got a whole different reason

for doing laps

in the middle of the night.

His name's Jace the Ace.

I can't wait till he's a bit older

and me and Gav can take him

for adventures to far-flung places

like Dunedin and the North Island

and that.

Jace!

(Sighs)

Oopsies.

(Baby laughs)

Nige, look. Look!

Whoa.

(Laughs) I'm flying, Gav!

- Yeah, Nige!

- Woo-hoo-hoo!

- Yeah!

- Woo-hoo!

# Don't know where to turn

# I'm gonna drift into that void

# I'm flying through space

I'm an asteroid

# Time doesn't take place

when you're paranoid

# I'm thinking about you

and nothing else

# Thinking about you,

you're thinking about me

# Thinking about you,

I'm counting the beat

# Thinking about you

# Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

# Thinking about me

# Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

# Thinking about just you and me

# La da de de

There ain't no place I'd rather be

# La da de da, la da de da, la da de da,

la da de da

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

# I'm bleeding to death

# On a cloudless day

# A three, a four heartbeat

# A waltzin' away

# Oooh ooh, oo oo

# I'm counting the beat

# I'm feeling the heat to be alive

# I'm counting the beat

# I'm wishing that you

# That you were mine

# Thinking about you,

you're thinking about me

# Thinking about you

and counting the beat

# Thinking about you

# Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

# Thinking about me

# Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

# Thinking about you

# Thinking about me

# Thinking about you

# Thinking about you and me

La da de de

# There ain't no place I'd rather be

# La da de da, la da de da, la da de da,

la da de da

# La da de da, la da de da, la da de da,

la da de da. #

Captions by

# CHRIS KNO X:
Not Given Lightly

# Hello, my friend

# It's morning, time to wake now

# Your body and mine

entwined will have to break now

# I want your flesh,

your warmth to stay beside me

# Oh, how I wish

you could be deep inside me

# Show me your eyes,

your love, most tender feeling

# And I'll give you mine,

be truthful and revealing

# 'Cause it's you that I love

And it's true that I love

# It's love not given lightly

# But I knew this was love

And it's you that I love

# And it's more than what it might be

# When we're alone

I cannot always face you

# Maybe my mood

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