Two Mules for Sister Sara

(Birdsong)

(Hoots )

(Growling)

(Horses whinnying)

(Men shouting in distance )

(Shouting and whooping continues )

( st man ) Hee-yah! ( nd man ) I'm first!

(All shouting, indistinct)

# This is the way we go to church

# Go to church, go to church

# This is the way we go to church... #

(Woman screams )

The party's over. You men can get movin'.

Hell, I don't know who you are but, uh...

why be a hog, man?

She can handle four of us.

We also got some mighty fine whiskey.

- Waiting for you! - Besides...

Now what are you gonna do, you bastard?

You may get me...but you sure as hell ain't gonna get any part of her,

unless you like to have your fun with a corpse!

You keep standing around like that,

the sun's gonna burn the hell out of you.

They told me they were gonna kill me,

kill me so I couldn't report them.

(Sobbing) They told me...

Well, they ain't telling you much now.

So get dressed, hm?

(Humming)

(Woman ) You're a good man.

All my life I will pray to the Virgin to protect you from harm.

Jesus Christ.

And I will also pray that for all your life you have what you desire.

What the hell's a nun doin' out here?

I'm on a mission. In Mexico a nun can travel safely

among murderers and thieves.

I could have avoided these men but I came to ask for food.

- They give you any? - No.

- There's probably some leftovers. - I couldn't eat just now.

Well, you look like you could use a shot of whiskey.

Whiskey? Thank you.

- Your mule? - Yes.

No provisions, no canteen? Just how'd you figure on existing?

I was confident the Lord would provide.

Three more like them?

He also provided you.

- Which way you headed? - North.

North, huh?

Well, I'm headed south.

So I'll take those ponies and be on my way.

First we must cover them with stones.

We can't leave without giving them a Christian burial of some kind.

- After the way they treated you? - Of course.

You got to be touched in the head.

Do you have a shovel??

Sister, raise your eyes to heaven.

Now, are they or are they not God's creatures?

- Of course they are. - Why rob them of this nourishment?

Do you have a shovel??

Yeah, it's on my packhorse.

Would you get it, please, for the sake of my soul if not your own?

Sister, I don't mind shootin' 'em but I'm not gonna sweat over 'em.

You're as stubborn as my mule, you know?

Worse.

(Panting)

How are the blisters?

Other things in life have hurt more.

Thank you, Brother.

- It's Hogan. - I'm Sister Sara.

Well, Sister Sara, if you ever get tired of being a nun,

you'll be an A- gravedigger.

Have some of these beans.

Those fellas weren't much in a fight but one of 'em wasn't a bad cook.

I couldn't eat anything they cooked but I'll have some water, please.

- Help yourself. - Thank you.

(Hogan sputtering)

- You really are touched! - Give that back, please.

Sister, you wanna bless 'em, bless 'em dry.

I've obliged you 'bout all I'm going to and now I'll say goodbye.

You stay out of that sun now, you hear?

Or you're gonna really be in trouble.

Goodbye. Thank you again.

God go with you.

Hey, you're in luck. Looks like a French cavalry.

You can probably travel along with them.

Please help me. They're looking for me.

Why?

I was raising money for the Mexican army.

I had to escape in the night.

Lady, if you weren't a nun I'd let you save your own bacon.

All right, do as I say and act fast.

Get rid of that cross, it shines like a mirror.

You bring that last horse and follow me.

Son of a b*tch.

What are you doing?

I'm doing for you what...

no Holy Virgin's in any position to do.

Hah!

We'll walk slowly so as not to stir up this stream bed

any more than we have to.

Why did you put that dead man on the horse?

A horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without.

If we're lucky, the French will follow those ponies.

Here. Eat this.

I told you to eat something back there.

Your stomach keeps growling, we'll have the whole French army on us.

These little noises can't be heard. Why are you so angry with me?

Well...maybe a nun ought not be so good-lookin'.

The way I look is of no importance.

I'm married to our Lord Jesus Christ.

That's what I'm steamed up about, if you'll pardon my being frank.

- I'm not offended, Brother Hogan. - Don't "Brother" me.

Excuse me.

Soldats, concentrez-vous de ce cote.

Les autres, avec moi.

They split up, damn it, and they're catchin' up.

I wouldn't just sit there, move.

We can't outrun 'em. You can get in there.

I may not shoot all of them but I'll get their attention.

Wait, then head on out the other way.

You've been a wonderful friend, Mr Hogan. Go with God.

Leave Him out of this, huh? Get movin'.

(Snake rattles, horse whinnies )

- I can't go in there. - Why not?

There's a rattlesnake in there.

Keep singin', partner.

(Rattling)

Get that mule in here.

Here, if we get split up, this'll make good eatin'.

(Horse whinnies )

Vous regardez la-dedans.

Il n'y a rien.

Au galop!

(Rattling)

Well, well. Too bad nuns don't play poker, you'd be sharp at it.

There's no way I can thank you.

I suppose you'll be starting south now.

No, it's gettin' too close to dark. We'll have a hot meal first.

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