Two Mules for Sister Sara Page #2

- Can nuns cook? - I do.

Good. Your late gentlemen friends donated us some beans and coffee.

But first I'll scratch up some firewood.

It's hard to believe that rattlesnake could taste so delicious.

Here. Ladies first.

Thank you.

So you were headed north. Any particular place?

I want to try to find a Juarista band, I'll be safe with them.

- Where were you comin' from? - Chihuahua.

- Chihuahua? You live there? - Mm-hm, for several years.

- French garrison in Chihuahua. - Mm-hm, right next to the church.

You wouldn't by any chance know how many soldiers in the garrison?

- More or less. - About and some cannon.

How do you know all that?

The French officers wanted to learn Spanish

so my mother superior assigned the task to me, I also speak French.

I went into the garrison three times a week.

I hate them. Oh, how I hate them.

- Ain't it a sin for nuns to hate? - Not if it's something evil.

The French army killing and torturing Mexicans,

trying to force them to become one of their colonies.

- How big is the garrison? - Two storeys. It was a monastery.

- A building with an open patio? - A beautiful patio...

- A balcony and stairs leading down? - That's right.

You say it's next to a church. How far apart are they exactly?

In some places not more than ten or twelve feet.

From the roof of the church, is the garrison higher or lower?

- Lower. Much lower. - Oh.

- Sentries? - Day and night at the front gate.

Sister Sara, you're gonna slow me up some,

but I'll take you to one of those guerrilla bands you're lookin' for.

- Do you belong to one of them? - Till I get paid, yeah.

Paid? You mean in gold?

Well, if they pay me off in tortillas,

I'm gonna shoot 'em right in the eye.

But the Juaristas are too poor to hire anybody.

I made a deal to work out a plan to take the garrison.

If it pays off, I get half the French treasury.

Then you don't have any sympathy for their cause?

Not theirs or anybody else's.

See, I spent two years in a war in the States.

Right now, all I'm interested in is money.

If money is all you care about, then why did you fight in that war?

Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.

- Mr Hogan. - Hmm?

The th of July is a French holiday.

By noon of that day last year the entire French garrison was drunk.

- What's the date today? - July the th.

Beautiful.

That information puts gold right in my pocket.

This calls for a drink.

Well, I'll be leaving you for a few moments.

Be careful not to go too far, there may be another rattler.

I'll pray as I walk.

I'll keep my back turned. Don't worry.

You're a real gentleman, Mr Hogan.

I guess you haven't slept much on the ground.

Oh, I'm very tired. I'll sleep.

For somebody who's wore out, you sure got a happy look.

It was a miracle you found me when you did, Mr Hogan.

That was no miracle, just an accident and life is full of 'em.

No. It was a miracle.

Yes, ma'am.

Two men are ridin' along side by side,

a bullet ricochets off a rock, kills one of them but not the other -

just an accident, no miracle.

Then you believe there are no miracles?

Well, um... Now, you take that fella this morning.

He could've picked up that stick of dynamite

and thrown it back at me before I shot him.

Now, that would have been a miracle.

(Laughing)

It's nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.

You think nuns don't laugh?

I don't know. I never spent the night with one before.

Good night, Mr Hogan.

Thank you again for everything.

Hey, wake up, Sister.

- Time to get movin'. - Couldn't I sleep a little longer?

Not if you want to travel with me, you don't.

(Groaning) I'm so stiff.

I'm not accustomed to riding like that.

Would you please help me up?

Thank you.

Oh, my every muscle is aching.

How can I possibly ride again today?

I ride from sunup to sundown.

You either keep up or you don't.

You'll feel better after a few hours on your mule.

You make very good coffee.

A man on his own has to take care of himself.

- So you're not married? - Nope.

- Ever been? - Nope.

- Want to be? - Nope.

- Don't you want a woman of your own? - What for?

Share your name, bear your children, be a companion?

To ask me to quit drinkin', quit gamblin', save my money

and to b*tch about her aches and pains? No, thanks.

- Must be a lonely life. - It's a great life.

Women when I want 'em and none with the name of Hogan.

How about you, ma'am? Haven't you ever wanted to be a whole woman?

Have a man make love to you? Have children?

I've chosen a different way of life.

What about those feelings your god gave every woman, including you?

- I've always wondered. - Well, we're human, of course.

When we get those feelings, we pray until they pass.

In your case, just how much praying does that take?

What about before you became a nun? Did you ever have a man?

No.

- Ever been kissed by one? - No.

Haven't you ever laid awake wondering what it would be like?

No.

All the women I've ever met were natural-born liars

but I never knew about nuns till now.

You're right. I lied.

I'll say one thing, Sister.

I sure woulda liked to have met up with you

before you took to them clothes and them vows.

(Hogan ) That limp's getting worse.

Stone bruised.

It'll take a week for that to heal up.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes