Two of a Kind Page #2

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Yeah. I'll go to the gym,

work out or something.

Okay,. By,e. Oh! Hey,! Why,

didy,ou get fired this time?

They said I flirted with a bank robber.

What?.

Zack!

Stuart. You're early, man.

Put those dogs in another room!

Right. Back, boys! Back! Down! Down!

Vinnie! Biff!. Get back there!

Stuart, you know, what I'm gonna

have to do is, uh, put the dogs...

in the-- in

the bathroom.

But it'll take a minute, all right?

Right with you.

H:

- Here I come!

Back!Away,from the door! Now, get in

the bathroom! That's it. That's it.

Good boy,s.

Zack!

What the hell is going on, Zack?

I ' m com i n'! Down, boys!

- Oh, wow.

- Get i n there!

- How?.

- How?. Li ke this!

Damn it!

Hey! These are great! I

love these! Look at this.

Moron! I almost had a heart attack.

You think that's what he borrowed the

13 grand for?. To have those made?.

- How should I know?.

- Look at this stuff. Look at this.

Nobody'd buy one!

Of course nobodywould buy one!

They,'re gimmicks foridiots.

Would you buy one?.

Yeah.

Come here. Get outta here.

Come on!

- I don't like music. It

all sounds the same to me.

- Don't you think he'd be gone by now?.

- What?. I payyou to think?.

You know, boss, I too have feelings.

"I too have feelings"?. What are

you doin'?. Goin' to college now?.

- Huh?. Huh?.

- Aaah! Aaah!

- How's that feel?.

- It hurts!

You're right. You got feelings.

What?

Get outta there! What's he doin'?.

- Get him off ofthere!

- Not finished.

There he is! There he is!

Come on! Get goin'!

Hey! Here's your money! Come on!

Hey,! Ya all right?

Hey,!

Hold it. Hold it. Go!

Go! Go around him!

- Follow him! Damn it!

- All right!

Move it! Come on!

- Keep drivin', man. You hear me?.

- I'm drivin'!

Get alongside ofhim!

- Pull over!

- No! Don't! Don't listen to him!

- Pull it over! Pull it over!

- I'm drivin'!

- I've got a gun too!

- Don'tshoot!

I'm driving! I got a family,! I

got three kids! I got a mortgage!

Goddamn it! Where are you going?.

- Cut him off!!

- What do y,ou mean?

- I mean do this!

- No!

Oh, I imagine it must

be tough being wrong...

but look on the bright side.

It's a new beginning. Water

for the deserts, no pollution.

I'll put Hawaii closer to the

mainland. Gonzales, make a note ofthat.

I can't bel ieve you're

real ly gonna do this.

Trust me.

Where will everyone go?.

Oh, we've got plenty of room.

You mean you'll bring

everybody up here?.

To do a great right, you

must do a little wrong.

- Macbeth?

- Hamlet.

Doesn't any,body, read any,more?

Merchant ofVenice, act four, scene one.

- Wait!

- Wait?

For what? Let's get going.

Wait a minute. Wait a

minute! I got an idea.

What ifthat kid down there

turned himselfaround...

and he sacrificed everything

for another human being?.

Charlie! A selfish kid like that

would never make a supreme sacrifice.

But if he did, that would be a miracle.

Okay,. Uh-huh. Oh, I see.

You're gonna show me a miracle that

proves man is worth saving. Uh-huh.

Okay,. I like it, actually,.

But on one condition. Her.

- Her?.

- Yeah.

- The bank tel ler?.

- He has to make a sacrifice for her?

And she for him.

- But that's impossible.

- Hey,. You brought up miracle. I didn't.

And one more thing. I

want it in two day,s.

Two days?. I t took you six

days to create the world.

Very good, Earl. That's very good.

Okay,, I'll give y,ou a week...

and don't ever say, I wasn't generous!

What about the devil?.

- I say, what about the devil?.

- Oh, don't bother me with details!

You've got until midnight,

one week from tonight.

Um, is that Pacific, Mountain

or Eastern Standard time?.

Hmm. Eastern Standard.

Freeze it! Rewind.

- Aaah!

- Freeze it!

Unfreeze.

Aaah!

Stop!

These two are going to have to

sacrifice everything for each other?

Ha! Marvelous. I shall soon

have a full house, won't I?.

And, of course, I shall reserve...

a very special place

fory,ou, my,pretty,.

- Get away from her.

- Charlie boy!

Charlie boy,.

Uh, look, Charlie boy. Let's have

another little wager on this--

on this flood business, shall we?.

- I'll bet you dogs.

- Dogs?.

Yes, dogs. I mean, ifthere is a

flood, then you pitch in dogs as well.

Look. I haven't got any animals

down there, but I've got a lot of...

very strange people that

love... to kick dogs.

Ah!

You make me sick!

Gonzales! I don't believe this. They

still haveyou living like a pig?.

And Charlie's a bum.

Earl! He still drives a bus?.

Earl. Fore!

I don't want nothin' you got.

Well, Ishall be needing a

lot ofextra help fairly,soon.

As you fellows will

all be out on the dole,

perhaps we can strike

a deal right now, hmm?.

You like loose ladies?

- Ignore him.

- Hmm?.

Charlie boy, you like the

ol' loose ladies?. Hmm?. Oh.

Well, ifyou changeyour mind, I've

just taken a suite at the Plaza.

What a bummer! On top of everything

else, nowwe got him toworry about.

What did you expect?. Him to

sit idly by on the sidelines?.

Boys, we've got a lot ofwork to do.

Let's get started.

- Ah!

- Rewind!

Freeze it.

- Unfreeze.

- There he is!

Come on! Get goin'!

Hey! Here's your money! Come on!

Hey,! Ya all right?

Hey,!

Hold it! Go! Drive!

What the hell?.

Damn it!

Forget the horn! The bus died.

Am I gonna have to

pick this up in 2 weeks?.

Not this time.

- Hey,, man, leave the girl alone.

- Hey, Laurie, I'm tired.

Aw, break my heart.

You think it's easy,

working withy,ou all day,?

Ify,ou could move y,our legs as fast as

y,ou move y,our mouth, we'd be in business.

- We're going two flights up.

- Give me a break.

"Bank robber flirts and escapes

with 15, 000 smackeroos!"

" Debbie Wylder, an

aspi ri ng actress...

who studies at the Warren Robertson Theatre

Workshop, said the man was maniacal."

B*tch.

Debbie... Wylder. You

wanna come up, please?.

Will you kinda settle

down a little, please?.

- Hi, Debbie.

- Hi.

- Howya feeling?.

- Terrific.

- Debbie, you had quite a

scare yesterday, didn'tyou?.

It was, um, terrifying.

Let the laughter go. That's

just a nervous reaction.

- Keep letting it go. Try to

feel the real feelings behind it.

- Letyour arms relax.

What I wantyou to do--

Go right back to that moment

when the guy came into the bank.

Really tell him what you were feeling.

Come on, Debbie. Tell him.

See him there,just like he was.

- Recreate the moment.

- Please don't hurt me.

I'll do anything you say.

- I can't do this.

- Deborah, keep going.

Come on. You're just trying

to avoid the real feelings.

I feel like laughing.

And anotherway to avoid whatyou

really feel is to argue with me.

I'm not arguing with you, Warren.

Debbie,just don't talk

fora minute andlisten to me.

This guy comes in and points

a gun at you. Is that right?.

I mean, it's really not much, is it?.

Justyour life?.

So, come on. Put this guy

out here and tell him off!.

How dareyou point that gun at me!

How darey,ou threaten

to blowmy,brains out!

You're acting, Debbie. Stop "acting. "

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