Two of a Kind Page #3

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You thinkyou're a pretty hot shot

with that gun in your hand, don't you?.

But you're nothing but a cheap crook!

You're a clown, an impotent joke.

An impotentjoke?

Debbie, stop writing

dialogue now, and let's feel.

I do feel. I am feeling!

Don't take it out on me. Take it out

on this guy that had the gun on you.

Come on. Look at him and tell him this.

You moron. You imbecile!

You bastard!

You--

That's it!

- There he is!

- Fine. Now,justsee it through.

- See him! It's real!

- There he is!

- Just keep seeing him. That's it.

- He's right there!

- That's right. Now really see him.

- There he is!

- Tell him what you're really feeling.

- No, he's right there!

- Somebody,help me!

- That's right! Scream forhelp. Come on!

Call the police! No!

J ust let the feelings

go. Let your body go.

- That's right. Let the body go.

- He was right there.

That's fine. J ust let the body go.

That's right. Just breathe.Just let go.

Letyour head go.

Let your head go.

I:

wasn't--

- Unbelievable exercise.

- Terrific.

- I wasn't kidding. He was right there.

- But that's the point!

He's right out there waiting for me now.

You'll be all right. Don't worry.

You want a Kleenex?.

Here. Blowyour nose.

Listen, I know you guys

were planning to go...

straight to Fire Island, but

would you come home with me...

and I'll pay for a cab foryou

to go to Grand Central?.

We've got an 11:
00 train to catch.

Oh, Ron. We'll catch a later one.

Hold it!

All clear.

- Hey, hey, hey! What is this?.

- An armoire.

- You bought a stereo?.

- Yeah.

Hey, you bought all this stuff today?.

You sure that was just a little residual...

or did someone in your

family die, darlin'?.

Come on, Ron.

Check her bedroom.

Aaah!

Let go, you impotent joke!

- That's not funny. She's really upset.

- Excuse me.

Listen. We have got to get to the beach

by 9:
00. I've got serious rays to catch.

- You'll be okay in a little while.

- Come on.

- Hey! Doyou want to come with us?.

- No. It's fine, really.

Wait a minute. That's not a bad

idea. We could have a menage a trois.

You could sleep on the couch.

No. It's fine, really.

I appreciate it. Thanks.

Forget it. You should've seen me the

night I broke through. I was a basket case.

- Wasn't I?.- You were a basket case,

babe. Come on. Let's go.

Bye.

Brando! You're a bad boy!

How many times have I told you,

"Not the sink, okay??" Now, get down.

Want something to eat?. Huh?.

- You're always hungry. You

have the appetite of a dog.

Here's your dinner. Here we go.

Okay, now, where's your dish?.

You're not starving, areyou?.

The window's the onlyway out.

- Operator.

- Operator?.

Is it really a good idea to

bring the police into this?.

This is the operator.

May I helpyou?. Operator--

- Where's the money?.

- What money?.

- Get it. - I don't

have it. - Get it.

Oh!

- I spent it.

- On what?.

Armoire. I bought a stereo.

I had clothes to buy.

When's the last time

you went shopping?.

- How much is left?.

- $3,000.

- How much?.

- What areyou doing?.

- Oh, a nun. That's typecasting, isn't it?.

- Will you put those down?.

Don't do that! They're irreplaceable. That's

every play and everything I've ever done!

Oh, irreplaceable, huh?.

- How much?.

- I told you. 3,000.

- How much?.

- All right. 5,000.

5,000. I don't believe it.

Okay. 8,600.

- 8,600. That's all there is. I swear.

- 8,600?. Get it.

- Get it!

- You know I got fired because ofyou today?.

They fired me becauseyou had the gall

to rob mywindow. Can you believe that?.

Ugh. These are terrible.

- 8,600. Count it

ifyou don't believe me.

You have some set ofballs

on you, you know that?.

- You would have done the same

thing in my position.- Right.

- Ifyou were a gentleman, you'd

give me half ofthat.- I'm not.

Well, the leastyou

can do is fix my door.

You're a clever girl. You figure it out.

Where's my doorknob?.

- Don't do me any favors.

- I won't.

Don't touch me!

Doyou want me to put it in or don'tyou?.

You see, the whole

trick to this thing...

is thatyou've got to hold

the nuts whileyou screw.

- What's going on out here?.

- Everything's fine, Mr. Chotiner.

Doorknob fell off. We're

just screwing it in.

- Who's he?. -

Nobody. - Nobody.

See?. Works fine.

- It better.

- Harry? Harry, the healing's starting!

- The word is "thankyou."

- Thankyou?.

You're welcome.

Let's not take the 7:00.

We have to get up too early.

- Let's get the 9:00.

- Let's take the 9:00.

- That way, we'll have a chance

to get some sun on the beach!

- What happened?.

- We missed the last train.

- Oh, I'm s-- - Oh,

you're very sorry.

Right.

- She doesn't give a damn.

- Shh!

- I don't care ifshe hears me.

- Well, I do.

Why,shouldy,ou? She's an

idiot, for God's sakes. Why,?

- Do you wanna buy somethi ng?.

- Li ke what?.

Anything. My armoire, my stereo.

I 'm broke. I need the cash.

- Well, so do I.

- What do you mean?. I just gave you $8,600.

- Gave me?. That was my money.

- It was the bank's money!

Announce it. Tell everybody.

What doyou need so

much money for, anyway?.

My ears, okay?.

- Your ears?.

- Yeah, they're gonna slice 'em off...

if I don't come up with the difference

between what you spent and gave me.

I suppose you're tryin' to tell me

you're mixed up with the "underworld."

I'm expected to believe

that, I suppose, huh?.

I don't give a damn whatyou believe.

They really cut offyour ears, huh?.

Oh, you sound excited.

Would you like to watch?.

Yeah, but I'll play it by ear.

Anyway, why areyou in debt?.

- Oh, I'm gonna tell you, right?.

- You can tell me. You knowyou can trust me.

- Oh, of course I can trustyou.

- Don't tell me. I don't care.

My invention. Check it out.

- Your invention?.

- Yes.

- Sunglasses?.- More than that.

They're edible. Check it out.

- You're insane!

- Oh, come on. Taste it. Delicious.

They're great.

Ech! That's disgusting!

Tastes like sh*t! They,'re absurd!

That's what they said about the pet

rock. It was a million-dollar industry.

I wouldn't buy a pet rock, and

I certainlywouldn't buy those.

- Anyway, don't they melt?.

- Slight oversight.

So, what else did you invent?.

I revolutionized somethin' that's

gonna revolutionize the pet industry.

- Do awaywith the flea collar.

- Hmm. What is it, a yeast spray?.

It's a yeast spray?. Oh, it's so simple!

Yeah, well, good ideas are. Good night.

- Taxi!

- Oh, we're so touchy.

- And I was gonna buyyou dinner.

- Oh, really,? With what?

I'll owe ya.

Come on.

Where to?.

The Plaza.

- Hmm.

- I'll take your drinks to the table.

- What?. - Did you ever

commit any other, uh--

- Crime?.

- Yeah.

How doyou think I got the

materials to make the sunglasses?.

I broke into the special

effects department of a movie.

Never told anybody that, so don't

ever repeat it. You hear me?.

Look, afterwhat we went through today, you

really think I could tell anybody that?.

There's one thing I'll

never do is break myword.

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