Two of a Kind Page #4

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- Hi, Debbie! How areyou?.

- Oh, hi, Nicholas. How areyou?.

Great. Acapulco's great. We miss you.

- It's good to see you.

- Good seeing you.

- Debbie, darling! How'vey,ou been?

- Hi, Bobby. How are you?.

- Marvelous.

- Good to see you. You look great.

- Yes, so doy,ou.

- Do you know what you want?.

- No, but it seems you do.

- It's not what you think.

Who am I to judge?. Come on. You're

a beautiful girl. This is New York.

A lot of rich guys. Why not?.

Did you know that one

night, one guy actually

offered me $10,000 to sleep with him?.

- Oh, really?. What did you do?.

- Served him his dinner.

- You worked here?.

- Yeah, before I was a bank teller...

but I hate to be

thought of as a waitress.

You're a snob. Somebody's

gotta serve the food.

Yeah, but not me.

I wanna work as an actress.

Believe me, you will.

I haven't worked since I got here.

Don't actors have dry spells?.

Yes, but I'm beyond dry.

I'm almost desiccated.

Almost. See?. There's a little

hope in this nice girl's life.

Yes, there is a little

glimmer on the horizon.

I'm praying I'm gonna get a

callback forthis Broadway show.

I've auditioned for it five

times. The part is perfect for me.

The first time my

accent could work for me.

My agent says it's between

me and two other girls.

- What's the name ofthe show?.

- Carnaby,Street.

To Carnaby,Street.

So nice to see you, Mr. Beazley.

Please follow me. This way.

Ah, my good man, the

cane on the chair, please.

Bon appetit.

You Busby, the guy that called?.

Beazley.

Who referred you?. How'd

you get my, number?.

I have had your number, dear

boy, since you were born.

Look.

Your mother's on the phone.

Mmm!

Hey! Stuart. I got

something foryou, man.

For her sake, I hope you do, because if

you don't, I'm gonna cut her ears off.

What ifl told you I

- I had halfthe money.

I'll only cut off one ear.

Freeze it!

Oh, come on, Charlie.

Come on, old mate. You can't keep

doing this, can you?. It's unfair.

- Let's set some guidelines.

- There's somethingy,oushouldknow.

Ifthere's a flood, he is

bringing everyone up there.

- Hmm.

- Don't laugh. It's true.

There'll be no more people down here.

You'll be reduced to having

to teach evil to animals.

- Charlie, you're peachy.

- Well, think about it.

Doyou really believe he would

willingly helpyou fill your place?.

Well, he is the one that's

going to flood theworld.

I suppose he must know

what he's doing, mustn't he?.

Beazley,, I'm telling the truth.

Both ofus will be out ofbusiness if

those two don't fall hopelessly, in love.

You sound frightened. I love fear.

Listen, y,ou evil bastard.

I'm tellingy,ou the truth!

Charles. Language. Language.

Do you want to set some rules?.

- You won't abide by rules!

- No. I want to win without manipulation.

You see, mankind is basically,

selfish, rotten and evil.

- And I want to rub it right in his light.

- Stop that!

Don't you understand, you fool?.

Both of us will lose in a flood.

Don't you understand, you fool?.

Both of us will lose in a flood.

As you say, Charlie

boy. No rules. Unfreeze!

- Freeze! - This is

ridiculous! Fast-forward.

Freeze it! Rewind!

- Freeze it!

- Fast-forward!

Freeze it! Rewind!

Freeze it! Fast-forward.

Freeze it. Rewind.

Fast-forward.

Temperamental, isn't he?.

Charlie, stop abusingy,ourpowers.

Hello, there, Governor!

How are you doing?.

Stay calm, please!

A pipe must have broken.

Please. No fighting!

Please, gentlemen, this

is an elegant restaurant!

Oh, Charlie boy!

I want my money!

Hey! Come on, guys!

Can't we talk about this?.

Who is it?.

Debbie, it's me.

- Good-bye. - Please open up

the door. I have to talk toy,ou.

- I have nothing to say to you.

- Please open up the door.

Look. What kind of a

man are you, anyway?.

You just left me there. They were gonna

cut my ears off, but what do you care, huh?.

You don't care about

anybody but yourself.

I - I ran away,because I knew

that they,'d follow me.

Ha! You ran away to save your own neck!

That's not true. I had the money,.

I knew that they,'d come after me.

- What's that smell?.

- It's me.

Don't ask any, questions.

I don't have the answers.

Look, al I I know is suddenly the place was

flooded. Everybody started throwing food.

- That's all I know.

- You're weird. You know?.

- I mean, you are really,weird.

- Can I come in and tell you the rest?.

- Probably the weirdest guy I've ever met!

- Please?.

I'm gonna end this relationship right

now, okay,? It'sjust masochistic.

Look. Before you end it,

could I have a towel?.

- Wait there. Okay?. Don't move.

- I 'll drip right here.

Good.

- Thankyou.

- So what happened?.

I don't know. The maitre

d' said that a pipe broke.

A pipe broke?.

In your apartment?.

No, stupid. In the Plaza.

I can't stand that guy.

Now, what's going on?

Stuart grabbed the money, it went

all over the place, and now I'm broke.

So what do you want?. What

did you come here for?.

- You wanted a towel, right?. -

That-- That's exactly the reason.

That's it!

This is interesting. It say,s that human

intelligence hasn't changed in 10,000y,ears.

Yeah, we're just as dumb now as we were

then. We just know a few more facts.

How is it that I'm in there,

hanging up your clothes, and you're--

How is it that I'm in there,

hanging upyour clothes, and you're--

I'm hanging upyourwashing, and

you're lying there reading my book?.

Well, according to

this book, itwould be...

because men have larger

brains than women.

You'd better read on, because it also

says that it's relative to body size...

and that a woman's brain is equal to

if not slightly larger than a man's.

- Good night.

- Come on.

- Oop!

- Come on, Debbie.

- Bedtime.

- Don't go to bed.

It's time to sleep. Come on.

- Aren't we having fun?.

- A wonderful time, but good night.

- I heard your cat.

- You did?.

- Yeah. It's outside.

- You sure?.

- Definitely.

- Poor Brando.

- I don'tsee him.

- That's all right. He'll come back.

Miss Wylder?.

Would you care to dance?.

I'm sorry, but, uh, I promised

this dance to a gentleman.

Oh, well, then I guess

I'll go home to the sewer.

Uh, but he's a little late,

so I'll slum it for one number.

- What ifyou getyour hands dirty?.

- Song's almost over.

You smell good.

- So doyou... now.

- Do I?.

Oh. Now.

- Let me look.

- Forget about them down there.

- Please.

- Finish your apple. Don't eat it so loud.

Shame on you.

But I was just seein' if

everything's gonna be okay.

- Mmm. You feel so good.

- Mmm. Zack, don't do that.

It's no good. We're just

drivin' each other crazy.

I don't mind gettin' crazy.

I do.

I'm not gonna make love.

All right.Just don't

stop touching me, okay?.

Oh. That's right.

- You feel good.

- Don't. Stop.

- You want me to stop?.

- Yes. No.

Oh, God.

No. We'll end up making love.

- We won't do anything

you don't wanna do.

- That's a bad line.

- It's not a line. I mean it.

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