Two Weeks Page #6

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the end of problem.

What if there had been

a fire?

Oh, my God.

How did I raise

such a bunch of wusses?

You guys, you grew up

without seatbelts,

breathing secondhand smoke.

I spanked you

a couple of times.

Yes, I think I even had

an occasional glass of wine

when I was pregnant,

and you all turned out fine.

Except, of course,

for the psychological damage.

Let me give you

one really great lesson,

don't judge us too much.

We didn't do it all wrong.

We did the best we could.

And so will you.

That's all there is.

Don't overthink it.

Not me.

Especially you.

You read the book?

No.

None of them?

Nope.

So you're not dealing

with this at all?

Don't "big sister" me.

Why not? I'm your big sister.

I'll deal with it

my own way.

Katrina and I talk.

Uh-huh.

Leave it alone, Em.

There's no food in this house

invented after 1967.

You left your cell phone.

Yeah.

Don't you think

we should bring it?

Do you want to find out

your mother died

in the cereal aisle

of Sir Buy A Lot?

Nope.

Wait a minute. Excuse me.

That orange juice is on sale.

Well, do you have

a Sir Buy A Lot club card?

No.

Then I'm afraid

it's not on sale.

But the sign on the shelf

said that it was just on sale.

Well, that's

club members only.

Fine, so, um,

how do I join

the Sir Buy A Lot club?

I hear it's very

tough to get in.

Well, that's right.

Look, the woman next to you

just scanned a spare card

for somebody.

Well, that's against

store policy.

I'm seeing a no-win here.

I'm having

a bad week, okay?

And my mother

brought me up to believe

that there is, uh,

a solution to every problem

if we all just

try hard enough.

So tell me, please, please,

who do I have to f***

to get the Sir Buy

A Lot club price

on my orange juice?

I've never been thrown out

of a grocery store.

You get used to it.

KEITH:
And any more?

What?

Regrets.

Yes.

Regrets?

I regret that

I won't be around

to torture you like this

when you're old and sick.

Hey, hey.

So, how do you feel

about your mother dying?

Come on, Mom.

I'm waiting.

Fine. I'm thrilled.

This is a growth experience

second to none,

and I thank God every day

I get to go through it.

You're not gonna answer me,

are you?

This video's not about me.

Bowel obstruction's gone.

Mom, um, took a sh*t.

Great. Let's wake her up

and feed her breakfast.

No, it's not like that.

Look. No, babe,

I know you don't

get along with them, but...

They respect me.

They just don't always...

No, they do listen to me.

It's just not a good time

to bring sh*t up, okay?

Mom's...

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm scared.

I just wish you were here.

Her heart rate,

pulse and breathing

are steady and strong.

But she hasn't eaten

anything in three weeks.

Yeah.

She's been off

of IV for days.

She had a lot of swelling

from the disease and

steroids she was on.

Swelling is just

water collecting

in the tissues.

Maybe that has something

to do with it.

So...

So she's like a camel,

living off her hump.

Could be.

What if she's

getting better?

Keith.

Seriously.

You know, maybe starvation

is some kind of cure

for cancer.

Keith.

No. What if...

What if it's the morphine

and the starvation

that are killing her?

What if we're doing

the wrong thing?

Come with me.

What if we're doing

the wrong thing?

No. Come on.

Look.

That's cancer.

She's got so much in her,

it's coming out.

You fix one

bowel obstruction,

another one grows.

I didn't know.

You can't do anything.

We tried it all before.

We're doing what

she wants, okay?

So, anyway,

I have started to prepare

a list of things

that I want you to do

in your lifetime,

things that I won't be here

to make sure you do.

You know, kind of a model

of how to live.

A mother can't be too careful.

So, this is yours.

I've made some

for each of you.

I've just begun, too.

It's gonna get bigger.

Much bigger.

MATTHEW:

Why would we play this?

EMILY:
It's one of

her favorites!

MATTHEW:
Over my dead body.

I can't even stand listening

to it right now.

Is this Neil Diamond?

Tony Orlando and Dawn, 1973.

I'll handle this.

I mean, it's just,

you don't play

something like this

at a memorial service.

Sometimes you do.

Some...

This is our mom's

memorial service

and you want...

What are you

kids doing?

He doesn't want me

to put this on the tape

for the memorial service.

And she loves this song.

Well, she loves

the Oscar Mayer

wiener song, too.

Do you wanna put that

on the memorial tape?

Would you like

one man's opinion?

Absolutely.

Not really.

Why don't we save it

for your funeral?

EMILY:
You can't respect

an original for what it is,

but if somebody like U2

decided to remake it,

suddenly it would

seem brilliant.

MATTHEW:
I must've missed

when they announced that

on their Web site.

Punch out.

I'm okay

for a couple of hours.

Nah, it's cool. I'm up.

Well, maybe you should

wake me at 3:
00 then.

Barry's turn.

Okay.

Did you give her morphine?

Oh, sh*t!

It's been 10 minutes.

I must be really tired.

Oh, God.

We killed her.

What do we do?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Oh, Mom.

I always thought

if I could picture it,

that meant it was going to be.

Like on an airplane,

if I could picture

getting up on the other side,

then I knew I would be safe.

The funny thing is, I can...

I can...

I can picture

the rest of my life,

how I will be at 70 and 80

and 90, like Nana.

Then why don't

I get to live it?

I wanna see

how it turns out, damn it.

I can't stand not seeing

my grandchildren grow up.

I haven't been bad.

Not worse than anyone else.

Not really.

I deserve to see

how it turns out, don't I?

To Mom.

To Mom.

I've got to make a call.

Um, Carol? What...

No. No way.

I give you the letter.

The letter.

The letter.

"Dear Keith, Barry,

Matthew, Emily,

"I have never made a secret

of my love for you

"or how important

you are to me,

"but maybe I've never

come right out

and said, 'Thank you.'

"Thank you for turning out

to be such fantastic people.

"Thank you for

putting up with me

"even though I upset

your lives through a divorce

even I can't explain.

"And thank you

for being there for me

in all the best ways

"that kids can be there

for their parents.

KEITH:
"I know

you'll be sad now,

"because, after all,

I am your mother,

"but we've had a lot of fun

and good times

"and that's how I'd like

to be remembered.

"Use your own judgment

about the memorial service.

I like it small,

"but it seems to be

more your decision

on saying goodbye than mine."

I love you.

"On the next page,

I've divided up

"all the important items

that can't be shared.

"I trust you to share

the rest equally.

"Much love.

"I'll always be with you.

"Mom."

All those days

when you lay here

unconscious,

I felt like when

I was talking to you,

it was like

you were really there.

And now...

Now, I don't feel...

I don't feel...

I don't...

Uh...

Goodbye, Mom.

It's normal out,

isn't it?

Yeah.

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