Uhf Page #2
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1989
- 97 min
- 976 Views
Oh no
You ok in there Pam?
Yes. If it's not one thing, it's another.
You know that mailman's really got a screw loose.
He delivers us this package that's suppose to go to R.J. Fletcher.
Who?
R.J Fletcher. He runs channel 8.
You know, the net work affiliate downtown.
Oh well, I'll just have to
send it back to him tomorrow.
No, that's okay, I'll
take it over myself.
It'll be a good chance to meet the competition.
You know George, I'll tell you I don't really think
that's such a good idea
I heard he's not the nicest guy in the world.
Oh, come on, he can't be all that bad.
You just gotta know how to talk to those guys.
You idiot! Can't you do anything I tell you to do?!
Does this look like a Number Two pencil?
No, I... I just thought-
You thought?! I don't pay you to think!
But, Dad
Shut up!! Let's get back to the meeting.
Alright, who's got the research report?
I left the report on your desk, sir.
I don't see it. When did you put it here?
Yesterday, before I left, sir.
The janitor. It must have been the janitor.
He probably threw it out when he was cleaning up in here.
Send in the janitor!
I'm going to get to the bottom of this!
I will not tolerate this type of behavior at Channel 8!
This is a business, not a home for irresponsible pus brains!
You wanted me, sir?
That's right. I guess you know why I called you in here.
Because you're lonely?
No, you moron!
Now look carefully.
Do you see anything missing from this desk?
Uh... that stapler?
No!
Now... listen to me!
There was a very important file on this desk.
A file that represented two months of intensive research.
It's my guess that you threw it out.
Why, no, sir, no um.
Were you in here cleaning up last night?
Yes sir, yes sir I was.
Do you see the file on my desk now?
Gee, I don't know I..
You are a worthless human being, Mr..
Spadowski. Stanley Spadowski.
May I call you Stanley?
- Okay
- Stanley...
- You're fired!
- But... I... I didn't
- Get out!!
- But I...
People are..
I can't believe the incompetence in this place!
People like that should be put to sleep.
Well, what do you know? The research file!
Here it is! I've been sitting here all the time!
Betty, hold my calls.
Yes, Mr. Fletcher.
Hey! R.J.!
Hi! George Newman, U62. Say, nice place you got here.
You know, I was just thinking, since we're both in the business...
Where'd you get this?
Don't you know that stealing mail is a federal offense?
Hold on, you don't understand...
No, you don't understand how serious a crime this is!
I think you'd better just clean out your desk right now and get out!
You're through, mister!
But I don't work here.
Trespassing, huh? I'll give you ten seconds to get out before I call the police.
Look, I just thought we could...
... five... four...
Gee, look at the time.
Well, gotta go. Keep in touch.
No... No.. No please... it's all I've got left...
Let go! This is station property!
NO! NO! It's my, mop!
Let go, let go you idiot
That's my mop!
Not any more, buddy!
Hey, are you all right?
It's just not fair...
Come on, forget about it. It's only a mop.
Only a mop? Only a mop?! Oh, You don't understand.
That mop was given to me for my birthday when I was 8 years old.
We've never been apart!
And now... now I don't even have a job anymore!
After fifteen years, they toss me out like a bag of moldy tangerines!
What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
Well... maybe you could come work for me...
Really? You mean it?
Uh... sure, I guess we could use a janitor.
Stanley Spadowski.
George Newman.
I'm mighty glad to meet you, George.
I'm going to do a realy great job, you won't be sorry. I'm really going to do a good job for you.
I'm a good janitor, I'm a realy good janitor.
Want me to clean your glasses for you?
- No, I...
I'm make them shiny, nice and shiny. Cause we're friends aren't we George.
No!
- Is this it...?
- No!
- Is this it...?
- No!
- Is this it?
- No, George, I can't delay the broadcast,
because the mayor is suppose to be coming any minute.
Where is he...? No, I've looked all over.
- I don't see a "Noodles" Maclntire
- Macintosh! At your service!
Yah, George, Never mind. I think I found him.
Come on, come on!
We now go live to U62's Pamela Finklestein on the steps at City Hall.
Thank you. HI! Pamela Finklestein here.
Boy it's quite a scene this morning on the front steps of City Hall.
We're awaiting the emergence of Mayor Thompson from his annual city budget meeting...
Oh, I think he.... oh yah, here comes the mayor now....
let's go over and maybe we can get a few words out of him.
Aww, did I do that? Oopsie!
Hey, Noodles, those things are pretty fragile. You should be more careful.
Here he comes now... I think we should be able to...
Hey, sweet heart, take my advice... Broads don't belong in broadcasting.
Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! Richard Fletcher, channel 8 news, how are you?
Yah but, yah but..'Broads don't belong in broadcasting'?!
Is that the kind of professional courtesy you teach your news department?
Why, that's just terrible.
I don't know how many times I've told those boys...
never call chicks 'broads.'
Why, you slimy
Hello, and welcome to 'Town Talk.'
I'm George Newman and today our special guest
is local high school shop teacher Joe Earley.
Thank you homeboy.
Well, I see you've brought some equipment with you today.
Would you mind giving us a demonstration?
Not at all.
There's only a few simple principles
you must bare in mind before attempting
to operate a sophisticated piece of machinery, like this...
Table saw.
You know, lots of times, when my students first learn to..
What? oh, Can you believe this?
wouldja look at that.
Just call me Mr. Butterfingers.
Oh I think its on the floor somewhere...
Is my face red.
Honey, where's the spatula?
Ok, kids, let's go!
There's just one place to go for all of your spatula needs
Spatula City
A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.
Thousands to choose from in every shape, size, and color.
Thousands to choose from in every shape, size, and color.
Thousands to choose from in every shape, size, and color.
And because we eliminate the middle man,
we can sell all our spatulas
factory direct to you.
Where do you go if you want to buy
fraction of retail cost?
Spatula City
And this weekend only, take advantage of our special liquidation sale.
Buy nine spatulas, get the tenth one for just one penny.
Don't forget, they make great Christmas presents.
And what better way to say "I love you." than with the gift of a spatula?
Spatula City
Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City.
I liked their spatulas so much, I bought the company.
Spatula City - seven locations;
we're in the yellow pages under "spatulas".
My, where did you get that lovely spatula?
Spatula City We sell spatulas, and that's all.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Uhf" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/uhf_22453>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In