Uhf Page #6

OK.

What did the police say?

They're doing everything they can.I'm telling you, George, Fletcher's behind this, I just know it.

Okay, I'm thinking Of something... orange.

Something orange... orange... Ya give up? It's an orange!

Get it? This is fun, huh? Okay, now I'm thinking of something blue... something... blue...

Let me kill him. Please let me kill him.

What! Don't you like Baonaza!?

Ok Philo, go to commercial.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK...

Next week on U62...

He's back

And this time

He's mad

No more mister passive resistance

He's out to kick some butt

This is one bad mother you don't wanna mess with

Don't move, slimeball

He's a one man recking crew

But he also knows how to party

Gimme a steak, medium rare

Hey, Baldy!

There is only one law

His law

Hey, mister! Change? You got change?

Do you mind? Get out of my way.

Hey, come on, can't you help a guy out? Anything...

Don't spend it all in one place.

Wow! Oh I can't believe it. Thanks, mister! Thanks a lot!

Um, Mr. Fletcher, may I speak to you for a moment?

Personnel is that way, young lady.

No, I'm not here about a job, I'd like to speak to you about Channel 62.

Channel 62? Oh yes, my demolition team is looking forward

to turning it into a rubble heap on Saturday morning.

Wait a minute. Would you please just listen.

George Newman has turned that little station into something

this community cares about.

George Newman is a two-bit

little punk who should never have stuck his nose where it didn't belong

and if he sent you here to try and make a deal...

George doesn't know I'm here.

Look, it just seems to me there's more than enough room for the both of you in this town.

Besides, a little competition is always good for the community.

The community? Let me tell you something.

This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot!

You guys...? Hey, you guys...? My blindfold fell off!

You better come fix it. I didn't mean for it ..

HEY... MY SHIRT GLOWS IN THE DARK! WOW!!

Would you shut him up?

I got an itch I got an itch I got an itch I got an itch I got an itch...

I got an itch I got an itch

Stanley, I don't want to have to tell you this again.

Shut up! You're makin' us nuts.

Now I got three guys out here

that would love to cut your tongue out.

But I don't want them to do that. I told them not to complain about all this...

... Stanley, be nice.

MY MOP!!

Please!

It's a mop

??

Yeah.

Stanley!

Don't move, Spadowski.

Don't even breathe.

What are we gonna do now?

I'll handle this.

HELICOPTER RIDES- $20

Who's this guy?

I'm you're worst nightmare

Listen, I can see you guys are pretty busy...how about if I just come back later?

Forget it, pal. We're all goin' for a little ride.

Oh. Well, we're gonna have to take your car... mine's a two-seater.

Just shut up, kid. You know, you really botched thing up.

If you hadn'ta stuck your face in our business,

we'd all be goin' home soon.

But now I'm gonna have to put you and your friend out of commission... for good.

Red rum! Red rum!

What was that?

Hold on. Though hear something?

What?

I don't know...

SUPPLIES:

Supplies !!!

Hey, everybody! They're back!

Friends, there comes a time in every man's life

where he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye.

There's a powerful evil force in the universe, and it lives at Channel 8.

I've seen it. And I don't want it to pop its ugly, greasy head here. Do you?

No!

I can't hear you!

No! !

I can't hear you!!!

No! ! !

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Alright, say it again!

No! ! !

Alright!

And now, a Special Report from the owner and General Manager of Channel 8, R.J. Fletcher.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

I come before you tonight

to speak on a matter which is of grave concern to us all.

I want to show you how one small television station can single-handedly

disrupt and destroy the moral fiber of an entire community.

SIGNAL OVER-RIDE

STAND BY:

The following may upset you. It may even shock you.

But I feel it is my duty as a concerned cititizan to bring you this important massage.

This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot!

You think I care about the pea-brained yokels in this town?

If you took their combined IQ and multiplied it by a hundred,

you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe,if you didn't

drool all over yourself first.I can't stand those snivelling maggots. They make me want

to puke.But there is one good thing about broadcasting to a town full of mindless

sheep.I always know I've got them exactly where I want them.

Seventy-three thousand dollars! WOHOO!

We just hit the seventy-three thousand dollar mark!

OK Mouseketeers, Come on! We can do it!

Whaddaya say, stranger.

Teri? What are you doing here? I thought you never wanted to see me again.

Well what ever gave you that idea?

Well, I think my first clue was when you said you never wanted to see me again.

Oh. Well, George no matter what happens tonight

I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you.

Uncle Harvey! Listen, we'll definitely have the money for you.

It just may take a few minutes longer than we expected...

Look, kid, if it were up to me, I'd let you have all the time you wanted.

But you know, Big Louie is a punctual kinda guy.I wouldn't want to keep him waiting...

Okay, Okay, I know a lot of you people probably like to wait until the last minute.

Well, this is it! This is the last minute!

What are you doing here? Disturbing the peace. Come on.

Why aren't you home in bed? Stand back. Out of my way. Look out.

This party is over, Mr. Newman.

You can say that again...

Okay, Fletcher, you win... give me the money.

Settle down... All in good time MR. Bilick.

What are you crazy?! Give me the money!

Please! If you don't mind, there are a few things I'd like to say

to these people before this transaction takes place...

Dear friends. I'm sure that one day you'll realize that

by shutting down this hot bed of subversive activity...

Hey, Mister...

Not now, okay...?

I was just wondering if it was too late to buy shares.

- I'll take whatever you got left.

- How much is that?

Two thousand dollars. Keep the change.

Uh... Mr. Big Louie, sir? My Uncle Harvey wanted you to have this.

Seventy-five thousand dollars... it's all here.

Uncle Harvey...

Hey! What's going on here?

Now wait just one minute here! What do you think you're doing?

We did it! The station's ours!

Wow look that

You can't do this! We had an agreement, remember? An oral contract! I'll sue!

Aw, blow it out your ear scuz bag.

R.J. Fletcher?

So what if I am?

I'm John Vickers, FCC.

I've noticed that your station is late in filing for its license renewal this year.

Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine,

but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me.

Yah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

HI! Pamela Finklestein here coming to you with a most incredible

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