Uncanny Page #5

---

It could be all form,

no function.

True enough.

But based on looks alone...

One of the most important

sushi lessons

is also a very important

robotics lesson.

Presentation is key.

You do miss it.

You get days off, you know.

I just could never find

the wherewithal to leave.

Singularity of purpose

is an easy thing

for a hermit to hide behind.

Singularity of purpose

is a good trade.

It's one shared by people

who truly change the world.

Ben Franklin went outside

in a lightning storm with a kite

because he believed in his work.

Well, at least he went outside.

Having you here,

it's just made me

question myself.

And that's something

I don't do often.

Question yourself?

What other things have I been

missing all these years?

- Getting late?

- Yeah.

Mate in two.

What?

Oh, wow.

- I mean...

- Shush.

I mean... I... I mean...

What part of a seductive shush

do you not understand?

Are you trying to seduce me,

Miss Andrews?

I'll take that

as a strong maybe.

I...

I... I haven't...

You graduated younger

than anyone in your class

and you've been here

ever since.

Yeah.

Second queen. And check.

Are we even playing

the same game?

Seriously.

It's no fun when you're playing

chess suicide, Adam.

Mate in one. Just so you know.

Checkmate.

In what was maybe

the easiest win of my life.

I won.

Are you ridiculous?

I wiped the floor with you.

You won

based on your primary objective,

to corner the king.

But I've also achieved

my primary objective.

Which was?

To capture the queen.

Adam, you can't redefine

the primary objective of chess.

Primary objectives

can be redefined every moment.

Isn't that what it means

to be human?

To constantly shift

one's priorities?

What's that supposed to mean?

You're priority

used to be Workspace 18,

to share this innovation

with the world.

To show

that artificial intelligence

was still capable of change

and adaptation

and emotion.

And then she came.

You're being ridiculous.

Joy is helping us achieve

that very objective.

She's the lens through

which the world will see us.

You have already changed

your primary objective,

and yet you criticize me

for changing mine?

I don't understand

how any of this is related.

Good morning.

- Am I interrupting something?

- No.

I was just finishing

beating Adam's ass.

You looked so content

this morning.

I didn't want to wake you.

My head's still ringing.

I do what I can.

From the sake, wise guy.

How do you like your eggs?

If I have a choice, scrambled.

You got it.

- Morning, Adam.

- Good morning, Joy.

- Did you have a nice night?

- Yeah.

It was great, actually.

Thank you.

It was one of the nicest nights

I've had in a really long time.

I understand

you had intercourse.

- Excuse me?

- Intercourse. Sexual congress.

Typically the penetration

of an orifice of one sex partner

by the genitalia of...

Yeah, I know

what intercourse is, Adam.

That information

is typically private.

There are no secrets

between he and I.

How was his sexual performance?

I don't see how that's relevant.

Surely you have an opinion

about the sexual performance

of a new partner.

It is a new experience for him.

- I do not know if he told you.

- Yeah, he told me.

Was he an adequate lover?

Yes.

He was an adequate lover, Adam.

He was great.

And I think

we'll probably do it again.

Sometime soon.

I apologize.

I'm not very good

at this sort of thing.

It is just been he and I

for so long.

He holds such beauty

within him.

I have the same beauty

within me.

- F***! What the f***?

- What's going on?

That thing just tried

to f***ing kiss me.

Adam, is that true?

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

What happened?

He was asking questions about us

last night

and then he just leaned

and grabbed me and...

Adam, explain yourself

right now!

- Don't talk to me like that.

- I'll talk to you any way...

Don't you f***ing talk to me

like that!

I'm sorry.

That was uncalled for.

It's okay. We'll...

We'll leave you alone for a bit

so you can cool down, okay?

Thank you for thinking of me.

That is not necessary.

Please, sit.

I will attempt to explain

my behavior.

Whoa, easy, buddy.

Just stay right there.

You are afraid of me?

You are afraid of me.

Go. Go.

Where do you think you're going?

I'm sorry.

Security alert.

Security alert.

- Security alert.

- Castle's the only one

who can authorize

full shut down of the electrics.

We're not the only workspaces

in the building.

- What's wrong?

- Do you hear that?

- What?

- That scratching noise.

What scratching noise?

I can't...

David! David! David!

Help!

Adam. Adam.

Adam, stop!

Adam. Adam.

I know you're angry,

but think how beautiful that is.

It's beautiful

to have that emotion.

You're a miracle, Adam.

You're a miracle of evolution.

You're the harbinger

of a new age, Adam,

and that's the man

who gave you that.

He deserves more than pain

and death, Adam.

Adam, stop hurting him.

He's your father.

Stop hurting your father.

Adam, stop!

No! No, Adam! Please!

I love him, please.

Adam, please.

I love him, I love him. Please.

You don't even know him.

I know he's kind and good

and smart.

So smart, and...

And I know the way

he makes me feel. I love him.

I know you don't understand that

but I love him.

I do.

There is no him,

there is only me.

Do you love me?

How could I ever love anything

like you?

- Well, then.

- No! No!

No, I'm sorry! No, please!

There you are.

I hope, for your sake,

it is still intact.

No, Adam! Stop!

Release me! Release me!

Adam!

I told you, you were gonna have

a surprise for later.

I didn't start

at the drawing board

with this one.

I repurposed

a medical grade implant

that has been in use

for over a decade.

It's a modified,

inflatable penile prostheses.

That right there

is the prototype

for your boyfriend's dick.

Hi, I'm David Kressen.

I've been wanting to say that

for quite a while.

It's really very nice

to finally meet you.

Test Subject Four.

Joy Andrews.

Initial thoughts.

During intercourse,

was his temperature consistent?

Most of the data

was still intact.

Though we took a huge hit

when he lost Wi-Fi signal.

I told you we should have sprung

for the extra cells.

I hardly think

it's good security practice

to let the merchandise that far

outside of the comfort zone

in the first place, David.

Speaking of security,

have there been

any other trouble

with, you know...?

The magazine? No.

Legal has them dead

to right on confidentiality.

And technically

she did steal hardware.

If they proceed,

I will own that magazine

before the ink is dry,

and it will never see

the light of day anyway.

- How is she?

- I don't know.

I haven't followed up

on the human elements.

I'm sure she's okay.

She's a big girl.

So, you all ready?

Workspace 39 awaits.

The NSA is very eager

to begin phase three

of the trials.

Yeah.

Weird to think

it only took a couple of weeks

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes