Underdog
[# Underdog theme]
[Man] Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Simon Barsinister,
the wickedest man in the world.
He was evil and crazy.
Simon and his wacky henchman, Cad,
schemed to rule the universe.
But each time they were foiled by me,
the greatest superhero
who ever lived... Underdog!
[Man] Ladies and gentlemen,
I come to you this evening
to discuss the growing problem
of crime in our city.
Here in front of me
[Underdog] We're getting
ahead of ourselves.
That's me in the uniform.
I was raised, since I was just
a little puppy, to fight crime.
Never had a family
or a place to call home.
I was raised with one purpose
and one purpose only:
To help people, to keep them safe.
Nothing was going to stand in my way.
[Barks]
- [Man stops speaking]
- Easy, boy.
- HoWever, to the families involved...
- You got something, boy?
- [Barking]
- What Was that?
Alpha Dog has got a lock on the stage.
I think it's the boxes.
Criminals should not be alloWed
to keep their freedom.
- [HoWling]
- Clear the building!
[Man] We need SWAT here, now!
Please hurry, your honor.
[Man 2] Everybody out!
Blue team, go, go! Move!
[Electronic beeping]
No radiation.
No metal.
TWeezers, and We'll lift.
Easy. Right doWn the side.
Yeah. SloW. And slide.
I bet you didn't know
a beagle's sense of smell
is 55 times stronger than a human's.
[Sneezes]
Well, mine's not.
It's a gift from
the American Pork Association.
[Laughter]
I Want a full debrief, now.
[Laughter continues]
[Dogs barking]
[Dogs laughing]
Nice Work, rookie.
Quiet, I smell a bomb.
You! You should just
turn in your tags.
[Dogs continue laughing]
All right, I'll be honest with you.
I wasn't the best dog on the force.
In fact, I was probably the worst.
The ham was just
the latest of my mistakes.
Like the time I chewed the extension
cord and it was plugged in.
Or when I met that cute poodle
and it turned out to be a guy.
It's hard to feel destined for greatness
when you keep messing up.
But, destiny's a funny thing.
It'll creep up on you
Gotcha.
Last one for tonight.
[Dogs barking]
Excuse me.
Uh, there's been a big mistake.
I'm not a stray.
I shouldn't be in the pound.
This ain't no pound, son.
look like the dog park.
By day it's OK, but at night,
once everyone's left,
that's When the freaky stuff happens.
What kind of "freaky stuff?"
- What did they do to your hair?
- What's Wrong With my hair?
[Stammers] Nothing. Nothing at all.
You Were saying about
the "freaky stuff. "
All I'm saying is When the guy
in the White lab coat
pulls out the giant needle, run!
[Laughs maniacally]
[Whistling]
Hey.
Welcome to the graveyard.
Yeah, nice and quiet,
just like I like it.
Uh, sir, excuse me.
We're not open right now.
There's no access to the labs.
Oh, really? I'm sorry.
That's all right. Don't Worry.
Oh, Wait. What's this?
What does this say?
Uh... "All Access. " Sorry.
It's OK. You all make mistakes.
But I forgive you.
Because that's the kind
of person I am... humble.
A humble genius.
[Man] It's OK.
Let him in.
Please.
Again, I'm sorry, Dr. Barsinister.
- I'm terribly sorry.
- It's OK. HoW Were you to know
that I am the most important scientist
this company has?
You couldn't have.
[Elevator bell dings]
- [Barsinister] Who's the neW hire?
- Him? He, uh, used to be a cop.
I was thinking that maybe
We should take it easy
on the after-hours stuff.
You know? Clandestine.
A three-syllable Word? I'm impressed.
I bought a, uh...
[mispronouncing]... thesaurus.
Good for you.
But even if he is an ex-cop, We don't
have time to skulk about. Look.
"Police Dog Training. "
It's a great idea.
Why didn't you think of that?
Because training is a fool's process.
I've met With the mayor,
and I told him hoW We could
take this city to neW heights
through genetic manipulation.
[MeoWing]
- Yeah? What did he say?
- The fool actually laughed at me.
That happened to me once.
Nobody told me for the entire day.
- Stop talking now.
- Oh, right. Right.
I'll be the silent partner.
Just because you're the only one here,
Cad, does not make us partners.
WoW. A real-life mad scientist.
Yeah, and he ain't even mad yet.
All right. Bring me the neW dog.
Your lucky day.
[Barsinister] And now,
the most important DNA.
- [Whimpers]
- [Barsinister] Oh.
Don't Worry, little guy.
It Will only hurt... a lot.
OK, let's do it, partner.
[Sneezes]
Gross! Your mouth was open!
Just hold him.
- [Barking]
- [Screaming]
[Cad] Hey, Doc! Get him!
Get in the game, Doc.
He's right there.
No, no! No, no!
My research!
- The serum.
- [Cad] He's going for the door!
Run, boy. Run, run!
Bring me a cheW toy from the outside.
And maybe some hair gel!
[Gasps] It Works.
- [Screaming]
- Doc!
[Indistinct chatter on police radio]
I'm pulling the security tapes
- of Dr. Barsinister's research.
- Dan, We'll handle it from here.
When there's a crime, they call a cop.
sign into the building, they call you.
- [Laughter]
- Right.
That's Why you're the chief.
With a big filing cabinet
marked "unsolved crimes. "
Hey, guys...
Yeah, that was some night.
I was homeless and hungry.
And just when I thought
it couldn't get any worse,
these numbskulls show up.
[Male dog] Hey, runt. You lost?
- The name's Riff Raff.
- He's Riff Raff.
- I've marked this territory.
- Yeah, he marked it.
Look, I don't Want any trouble, OK?
Well, then today's your lucky day, mutt.
I'd rip you to pieces,
but I don't Want to get my paWs dirty.
Yeah. You're not
Worth his time, fleabag.
- [Chuckles] Fleabag. Yes.
- Get him!
SWeet. We're going to get him.
Come back here!
That mutt dumped my trash.
Come on. Get him, boys.
- He thinks he's a greyhound.
- Look at him go.
[Riff Raff] I'll eat
that runt for dinner.
Dibs on leftovers.
- [Tires screeching]
- Oh! Speed bump.
- What a Way to go.
- I'm With you, boss.
Let's get out of here.
[Dog Whimpering]
Hello?
[Whimpering]
What are you doing? [laughing]
Come here. Come here.
Let me see. Where's your collar?
Oh, is that a kiss?
Where's your collar?
You don't have a home?
Why don't you come home With me? Huh?
We got a nice home, just for you.
- [Engine starts]
- What are you doing out that WindoW?
I know what you're thinking.
He just hit me with his car,
and I climb in the front seat.
Look, I may not be able
to smell a bomb,
but I can smell a good person.
- [Keyboard clicking]
- [Boy] Please excuse Jack Unger
from any and all activity
because he has a bad cold.
No, too simplistic.
He has shingles.
No, I already used that.
Come on, Jack. Dig deep.
[Sighs] I got one.
Perfect.
[Dan] Hey, Jack,
- Yeah.
- Come on out back.
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"Underdog" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/underdog_22543>.
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