Underdog Page #2

- I can't. I'm busy.

- AW, come on.

I got something to shoW you.

- [Groaning]

- Hey, I heard that.

Yeah, you're a good dog.

Can you sit for me?

- [Sneezes]

- Oh. God bless you.

Here's your ba...

Hey, Jack. Look.

- You bought a dog?

- No, I didn't buy him.

I, uh, I found him on the street.

He's cute, isn't he?

I thought maybe We'd go for Walks,

take him on a hike.

Hikes? Oh, fun.

Hey, look at that. I think

We should call him... Shoeshine.

Considering all the other

things he probably licks,

I think that's the best call.

Jack, I just thought

he Would be good for you.

Take your mind off a feW things.

Listen, I'm telling you

I am fine, all right?

- OK.

- You don't have to keep doing this.

You've got other things to Worry about,

like being a prison guard to lab rats.

You know What?

I like the neW job.

[Phone ringing]

If you don't Want the dog, I'll

take him to the pound this afternoon.

[Door opens and closes]

- Hello?

- [Groans]

No, no, I'll come back.

All right. Thank you.

I got to go back to Work.

- What about Shoelick?

- Shoeshine.

Listen, do me a favor.

Keep an eye on him.

You know What?

Give him a chance.

- You might even like him.

- I don't think so.

All he does is eat, sleep and poop.

Then the two of you

have a lot in common, don't you?

[Barsinister] I can isolate specific

protein strands in animal DNA.

Then combine them any way I want.

This will give him

the speed of a cheetah,

the ability to fly like an eagle,

or the strength of an animal

one hundred times his weight.

Forging a doctor's note, Jack?

Is this What it's come to?

I didn't forge it.

So, you expect me to believe

that you have... "monkeypox?"

[Coughing] It's pretty bad.

OK.

I don't know What disappoints me more,

the fact that you did it,

or that you did so poorly that

you couldn't even fool a P.E. Teacher.

Ahhh. Food.

[Sniffing]

Yep. Definitely smell food.

Hmm.

It's not dog food, but it's about to be.

Oh, no.

They're going to blame this on me.

Oh, well, bon apptit.

A- ha. Homo postalis,

the Great North American Mailman.

Natural enemy of the dog.

- [Barking]

- Look, the Ungers got a neW cat.

Come on. Come on, come on.

Is that the best you got?

You Want a piece of this here?

Whoa.

[Laughing]

That's right. Run, mail-slinger, run.

And never come back here again.

- [Tires screech]

- [Cat screeches]

Great. Two for one.

Hey. Is that a tennis ball?

[Chuckles] This day just

gets better and better.

[Grunts] Whoa!

[Pants] That couch tried to kill me.

There is something

mighty peculiar going on here.

- [Door opening]

- Huh?

- What did you do?

- [Whimpering]

Dad is going to kill you.

And then me.

Oh!

I really hope this is chili.

Give me a break.

It was an accident.

[Jack] Hello?

Dad? Is that you?

Hello?

Come here, boy.

- Did you hear something?

- No. Did you?

- Did you just talk?

- Huh? What? Hmm?

Whoa, Whoa... Wait a minute.

You can understand me?

[Both screaming]

[Hyperventilating]

OK. OK. Deep breaths.

Get some fresh air to the brain.

You're just imagining this.

- Wait. You...

- Bad dog. Stop talking.

Wait. Stop.

Person, heel.

Come on, Who trained you?

Person, just Wait.

- What did you just call me?

- Sorry. I don't know your name.

Jack. Nothing. Stop talking to me.

Look, I can't stop talking to you,

Jack Nothing,

because I'm freaking out here.

If We're going for a Walk,

you may Want to get a poop bag.

- What?

- I have that special feeling.

Maybe you're the problem.

A Weirdo kid Who can

suddenly talk to dogs.

HoW did you learn to speak English?

- HoW should I know?

- Can you speak other languages?

A little retriever. Some shih tzu.

My Chihuahua is a little rusty, though.

- OK, I mean other human languages.

- So English isn't enough for you?

Jack?

Shh! That's Molly,

a reporter for the school paper.

She'll have a field day With you.

Just speak dog.

Arf. Arf.

- Hey, hoW's it going?

- Good.

- Were you just talking to someone?

- Just my dog.

I've got my dog, too. Polly!

[# Styx:
Lady]

OK, here We go.

Uh, hello. I'm Shoeshine.

Oh, Well, hello. I'm Polly.

- [Barking]

- [Laughing]

I think she likes him.

I've never seen you.

Are you neW to this park?

Oh, yeah, I just, uh, relocated.

You smell Wonderful.

Like a half-eaten pig's ear.

Excuse me. "Pig's ear?"

Is that What passes for a pick-up line?

No, no. I, uh...

Well, I've got to get going.

Come on, Polly.

- Master calls.

- So, uh, Will I see you again?

Look, you're a cute beagle and all,

but I Want a little pizzazz

in a relationship.

A guy Who can sWeep me

off my feet, you know?

- Hmm...

- But We can be friends, OK?

- See you later.

- Yeah. See you later.

"Friends?" "Friends?"

I don't Want to be friends.

I'm looking to settle doWn,

to find Mrs. Right.

She could be Polly Shoeshine.

Or is it Polly Shine? Or is it...

Hey, Frisbee!

- What was that?

- It's my instincts.

I just can't help myself.

Whoo! What a rush.

OK. What else do you do?

now bury the bone. Let's go.

Good boy. Bury the bone.

Uh, excuse me. You Want to tell me

Why you're talking to me like that?

What? It's doggy talk.

Well, it's demeaning.

Give me the stick.

- Hey, I think I struck oil.

- Shoeshine, get out of there. Come on.

I hope no one saW that.

What else do dogs do?

Hey, they smell.

- HoW's your smelling?

- My schnoz ain't too good.

Got me fired from my last job.

That's ridiculous.

Come on, just try it.

Smelling makes me nervous, and I...

Ah... ah... ah-choo!

Glad I didn't try

to hold that one in.

I Would have bloWn my brains

out of my ears.

OK. Um, What are they saying?

[Indistinct voices becoming clearer]

[Girl]... When I talk like that.

I'm not gonna spend...

I know. We'll talk later. Bye.

Catch the ball

right in the Web of the glove.

Maybe We should see other people.

He thinks it Would be better

if they saW other people.

She says for all she cares

he can go eat...

- People eat that, too?

- [Chuckles]

[Crying] Help! Let me go.

It's Polly and that girl

Who folloWs her around.

- Molly.

- She's With two other guys.

They're stealing

her backpack. This Way.

Hey! Wait.

- SloW doWn.

- No, you speed up. Use all four legs.

- [Tires screeching]

- [Horns honking]

This is incredible.

I've never run this fast before.

It feels like my feet aren't

even touching the ground...

- YeoW!

- [Horns honking]

Whoo!

[Gasps] I can fly?

Hey!

Whoa! Look out!

Whoo!

This is Way better than

sticking your head out of a moving car.

- Whoo hoo!

- [Truck horn honking]

Oh, no! I'm blind.

I can't see. Oh, no.

I don't Want to see.

Sorry.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. Out of the Way.

I'm good. I'm good.

Whoo!

[Groans] Spicy mustard.

OW! Where are the brakes on this thing?

- I got a camera.

- Hurry up.

Whoo!

Whoa!

Ahhh!

[Molly] Hello? 911?

[Murmuring]

Uh-huh. Someone just

sWooped in and saved you?

You think you could describe him?

Yes. He was White.

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