Underdog Page #3

- Molly, hey. Um, are you all right?

- Mm-hmm.

- OK, so he's a Caucasian?

- Actually, I think he was broWn.

He was light broWn With White spots

on his belly, paWs and tail.

He had black Whiskers,

broWn eyes and a Wet nose.

Like this?

[Jack] Shoeshine? Shoeshine.

- Shoeshine, you here?

- [Whimpering]

Sorry, Jack.

I didn't mean to break those cars

or those garbage cans or that building.

Shoeshine, you're a hero.

No, I don't Want to be a hero.

I'll screW it up.

Trust me on this one.

[Sighs] I just Wanted a home,

a place Where I belonged.

Just because I have these poWers

doesn't make me a hero.

Shoeshine, it depends

on What you do With them.

Maybe. But promise me,

no one can find out.

- Not even your dad.

- Oh, my dad.

Easy. Easy.

Do you see a tennis ball anywhere?

[Doorbell rings]

Just put it in the corner.

You know, traditionally,

the dog makes the mess

and the human cleans it up.

I'm looking for my beagle.

He, uh, does tricks and stuff.

I'm... I'm sorry. I haven't seen him.

[Crashing]

- What was that?

- That was my, um... my grandpa.

He's blind, and We're just

rearranging the furniture.

- Are you all right in there, Gramps?

- Who you calling Gramps?

Get back in here

and help me move the couch.

[Crashing]

You're making your blind

grandfather move a couch?

It was either that

or repave the driveWay. His choice.

Good luck finding your dog.

- Do you belong to that guy?

- What? Me? No.

- Then Who was he?

- HoW should I know?

All you humans look alike.

Oh, it's my dad.

OK. I'm going to go

out there and stall him,

and you try and make things

look as normal as possible in here.

Talking dog Will try

to make things normal. Check.

[Sighs] All clean.

- Dad, Dad, hey.

- Hey, hoW are you? What's up?

- Do you need help?

- Sure, yeah. Thanks.

Wait. I'm going to put these inside,

and then We're going to go for a Walk.

A Walk?

You and me are going to go for a Walk?

Yeah. You know, just chill, talk?

Hang out?

OK. Come on.

What happened there?

- [Jack] Dad, Wait.

- [Dan] No, Jack.

- What?

- [Glass breaking]

Yeah, hang out.

- Dad, look, I can explain.

- Don't tell me the dog did it.

We'll talk about it later.

I'm going to take that dog to the pound.

Dad, no! No, please.

I Want to keep him.

You told me you didn't Want the dog.

Me? No Way.

I told you I've Wanted a dog

since I was, like, eight.

[Whimpering]

All right, but it's your responsibility.

You got to feed it, brush it, Walk it.

You got to train it.

Trust me, Dad. This dog Will do things

that Will bloW your mind.

- [Dan] This better be chili.

- [GroWls]

[Rats squeaking]

[Barsinister] Yes. Yes, brilliant.

Already the flames of inspiration

are licking at my brain.

Unencumbered,

in this, my neW laboratory.

- Kind of smells like a men's room.

- So much the better.

It seems like the Wrong vibe

for our Work.

Seems a little precocious.

- Perspicacious.

- What?

Peppery? Prim?

Most of my thesaurus

burned up in the fire.

All I've got left are the P's.

- Perfect.

- Ooh. That's a good one.

Can I use that?

The material I require

is going to be expensive.

We're going to need to find Ways

to subsidize my Work.

I know some guys Who just

got out of the clink Who can help us.

Perhaps. Bam!

- Ahhh!

- Nailed it.

Jack and I became good buddies.

For the first time in my life,

I really felt like Man's Best Friend.

[Man] Hot dogs, nice and hot!

Come on.

Bite into a nice juicy hot dog.

What? What?

Oh, my gosh, they're made of dog!

Are you people crazy?

Shoeshine, come here.

It's not real dog.

- What is it then?

- It's just animal parts.

You know, like noses,

hooves, intestines.

Well, in that case, I'll take two.

Hot dogs! Hot dogs!

That's What I got!

Hot dogs! Hot dogs!

Nice and hot!

- Why is he talking like that?

- He's rhyming.

It's a gimmick.

To get people's attention.

That seems like a strange convention

for you to mention.

And this is Where I'm bored

out of my mind, eight hours a day.

Whenever I'm bored

I just chase my tail.

If you're lucky

you throW up and bingo!

Lunch, part two.

- Nice.

- What?

Sticks, balls, and running in one game?

- So clever. So inspired.

- Not our team.

We're alWays the underdogs.

Never heard of that breed.

Is that a dog from Australia?

No. Look,

an underdog is someone

Who has been counted out

and nobody expects them to Win.

- Yeah, I know the feeling. Huh?

- [Cat meoWs]

[Shoeshine] There goes the neighborhood.

- Shoeshine, no.

- [Groans]

- Freak.

- What?

See?

- So, What's the score?

- I told you no.

But every molecule of me

was screaming "yes. "

It's time to teach you some manners.

Right. I'm going to learn manners

from a guy Who pees

in my White porcelain drinking boWI.

All right. Basic commands.

Chapter one:
Sit.

Let's start With a tough one.

- Chapter two:
Lie doWn.

- Fine.

I was going to do that anyway.

Chapter three:
Roll over.

This book doesn't have

much of a plot, does it?

And chapter four: Speak.

Arf. Arf.

You can't be serious With this.

Four Weeks of lessons

in four seconds?

We're on a good pace.

Chapter five:

Return the book and get your money back.

- I got you something.

- Oh. Never had one of these before.

If you ever get lost

they'll know Where to bring you home.

"Home. "

WoW, this is great!

Oh, eW! Oh, that breath is horrible.

What have you been eating?

Not sure. I dug it out

from under the house.

Suddenly I had a home and a family.

I had all that I ever wanted.

The only thing that could mess this up

was if a mad scientist bent on revenge

was living underneath the city.

Well, guess what?

Oh, the price I've paid.

[Sighs] So be it.

Hi. HoW's it going?

I'd love to, baby, but I'm busy.

Work out? Yeah, I Work out.

I think of my body as a Buddhist temple.

[Barsinister] Cad, stop talking to

your imaginary friend and get in here!

[Elevator bell dings]

[Banging]

[Man on radio] Dan, it's Les.

You got a shipment at the loading docks.

- Can you buzz them in?

- All right.

I'm on my Way.

[Elevator bell dings]

Is this thing going

to help us make another super dog?

Why settle for just one

When I can create a plethora?

That's a "P" Word.

I bet I have that one.

Just pick it up, you ape.

[Shoeshine] Give the dog your food.

Give the dog your food.

Give the dog your food.

You are in my poWer.

You Will do as I command.

Sorry, you didn't

get the poWer of hypnotism.

A- ha. Not yet, I didn't.

Give the dog your food.

- [Toy squeaking]

- [newscast plays on TV]

Rubber? What kind of sick joke is this?

...this demonstration will

convince international leaders

that the Capitol City K-9 Academy

is the future for K-9 crime fighters.

Maybe I should sign you up.

I don't think that's a good idea.

My dad used to be on the force.

He was twice decorated

by the mayor for bravery.

- He was a real hero.

- What happened?

He quit.

- That a big deal?

- A big deal?

Yeah.

OK, he says he quit his job

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes