Unlucky Stars Page #3

---

Did you move my stuff?

Why would I move... Oh, really?

What's this? Ladies, ladies.

Are we here to fight addictions

or are we here

to fight each other?

Hey, you down to make

a couple extra g's tonight?

Uh, yeah.

What... what's going on?

Uh, my buddy needs backup.

W-what does that mean, "backup"?

Uh, we're probably just gonna

make sure he doesn't,

uh... nothing goes crazy.

Whatever.

Hey, you ever see that show,

"celebrity action rehab"?

- No, what...

- It's stupid.

- But what are we gonna do?

- Prime time slot.

Let's go.

I'll tell you in the car.

W-wha...

you're real smart, b*tch.

I... I just want to know

who we're backing up.

Hey!

Thanks man.

Why you always messing

with my car?

Who is this?

- So, what's up?

- Some guy stole a Van

full of missing artwork

on the way to the museum.

I've been telling him

for an hour now...

Three guys,

didn't really recognize them.

They're probably buyers.

Okay, so, who hired you?

The museum?

No, actually,

this is the delivery company.

They figure the missing Van

would be low priority

for the police.

So u-haul hires bounty hunters?

Was I talking to you?

I'm just saying

it's kind of funny,

a delivery company's hiring...

if you want

a cut of this money,

you better watch your mouth.

I'm not even saying anything

about you, man.

Yeah, I didn't figure

you'd want this again.

Again?

You're memory's a little

altered there, buddy.

Hey, hey. Come on.

Look, we're here

to get your back,

okay? Relax.

- Let's go.

- All right.

So, anyway, like I was saying...

All right, there's four guys.

They're unloading the artwork

right now.

These guys are low-level.

The leader looks like he's young

noir or something like that.

Three guys in there look

like they're going clubbing

- afterwards.

- Wait, wait.

How many guys

you trying to catch?

I don't know.

Why don't you get a calculator

and go figure it out?

- Hey, I'm just...

- So, what's the plan?

My client's paying me to get

the artwork back.

The Van they sold.

And whatever happens, happens.

Question... why wouldn't

any of these guys have guns

or something? They probably do.

But if they do, then so do we.

Yeah, well, I don't.

Oh, yeah.

What did you expect, you idiot?

Don't worry about it.

There's two of us.

We got your back.

If people start shooting,

just hang back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hang back and see

if you get a cut of the money.

Don't worry.

Just do what you do.

Oh, what are they doing here?

- Who?

- Those three guys in black.

Those are Carl's guys. Oh, good.

So we don't have

to worry about them?

I don't know.

I'm not buddies

with them or anything.

I'm just saying

I know them and they know me.

So what now?

Well, I'm guessing they're here

to do some kind of deal,

and since we're trying to stop

that from happening...

all right, all right, all

right. Well, we'll see.

All right, hey,

I'm gonna go take those three.

Fine.

I got the guys on the left.

- W-what about the other guys?

- Okay.

On three?

Hey!

Everybody get on the ground!

Ken?

Hey, man.

I'm just helping my buddy

with these guys.

We're not here for you.

Hey, get on the ground.

Stan, just one second.

Carl sent us here

to pick up some stuff.

Think you know what that means.

Yeah, well, my buddy's here

to get that stuff back,

so I'm sure you understand.

I'm sure Carl will, too.

I don't think Carl likes you

as much as you think he does.

Hey, man, I'm still

working for him just like you.

Come on, guys. Let's go.

Hey! Why isn't dick face

on the ground? What did you say?

I said, "why are you

on the ground, dick face?"

Stan, relax.

Guns are for pussies.

And you, my friend, are a p*ssy.

I would own you. Oh, would you?

Just calm down, Stan!

Oh.

Whoops.

Nick's substitute, right?

Thanks.

You didn't seem yourself

while you were training today.

What's the problem?

This last film

I worked on didn't go too well.

First the director

made a comment about my weight.

David, shape and size cannot

hide talent.

It adds character,

and your father

was the living proof of that.

Yeah, but he didn't try to make

it the entertainment industry.

I bet he could have

if that's what he wanted to do.

Before he passed away,

he did everything

he wanted to do in life.

He never let anyone tell him

he couldn't do anything,

like you when you first

started training with me.

That's training here with you.

Out there,

it's a different world.

During break, the lead

tried to pick a fight with me.

Jealous of your talent, maybe?

He seemed pretty confident

to me.

People who pick fights

usually don't have someone

to fight with them,

and people

who talk down to people

usually need someone to listen.

So what am I supposed to do?

Defend someone that wants

to fight me and lend my ear

to someone that's insulted me?

Not challenging enough for you?

Hello?

- Hey, David. It's frank.

- Yeah.

Yeah,

about that Sameer thing, well,

here's the deal...

Nobody saw nothing,

so unfortunately, it's

Sameer's word against yours.

And what did he say?

Well, apparently he says

he was talking to you

about martial arts,

you somehow became offended

and attacked him.

What an a**hole.

Yeah, basically he's told

everyone on set that, you know,

he refuses to work

around a maniac.

So what does that mean for me?

Well, since he's the lead,

they're just gonna go

with another stunt double.

But, hey,

d-don't worry about it.

You know,

I'll keep an eye out for you.

And besides,

think about it this way...

As long as people

keep eating all that fast food,

- you'll have work.

- Okay.

Hey, listen,

I had a breakfast burrito

and that thing's working its way

through me.

I got to get to a toilet fast.

Yeah. Bye.

Yeah, talk to you soon, buddy.

- What's up?

- Oh, hey.

How's it going? Who's this guy?

Uh, it's... bill

no, I'm Tony.

Might want to make sure

it's actually bill.

I don't want to keep you...

You're busy...

But is my dad here?

- Yeah, what's up?

- Rich, Vic,

and Ivan were supposed to

pick up some artwork for my dad,

but they screwed it up.

I can give them one more chance,

but then I have to kill

all three of them.

And then that's a bummer

because you got to take care

of the bodies... you know,

digging all the ditches

and however you do it.

It's not my... you know what?

I'll handle it.

Well, see you around...

William. Um...

Well, actually, I probably

won't ever see you again.

But see you.

Isn't this fun? Huh?

Aren't we all having fun? Right?

Silence!

Rico, my old friend.

- Hyena.

- I thought you were dead.

Didn't take.

Ha ha ha.

Get out of my way.

You're just in time.

We're having a little party

for this b*tch.

Well, you know what they say...

"It's not a b*tch party

without a b*tch."

Indeed.

One moment.

Hyena, there's just one problem.

Yes?

This b*tch is my sister.

My nuts!

Oh!

Drop the gun.

I'm British.

I thought you were German.

Well, people change.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes