Unlucky Stars Page #4

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Now turn around.

Ha!

What good is your code

of Peruvian Bushido now?

It's good for this.

Rico!

Easy. Nothing.

Oh, Rico, if you weren't

my brother...

I'm not. I'm your step-brother.

Tomas de la Cruz!

Man, I know I can make it

like you did.

And I'll never forget

what you told me that day.

Respect.

What the hell

are you doing, man?

Sorry, Mr. de la Cruz?

I'm a huge fan of yours.

I love your movies.

And "multiple impact"

is such an action classic!

- You... you've seen my films?

- Yes, sir.

All three.

And I started acting and

studying several martial arts

to be as great of an action star

as you.

R-really?

Now, see, that's funny,

'cause actually I don't even

take martial arts, man.

I just kind

of punch and kick people.

No way, man.

You must be a natural then,

because I studied 10 martial

arts to be as great as you, man.

- Dang, 10?

- And I read all 10 books twice.

Oh, I see.

So you read fighting books.

- Yes, sir.

- Well, hey, you know what?

Whatever keeps you

motivated, you know, is...

Is good, I guess.

Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, hey.

Can I take an autograph?

Uh... sure.

Can you make it out to, uh,

Sameer Yousef, please?

I can't believe

that I just met you now.

I was on my way to an audition

downtown and...

This must be a sign.

Unbelievable. There you go, man.

Thank you, sir.

Can I take one picture?

Just... just one picture?

Yeah, sure.

My friends won't believe this.

All right.

Yes!

- Hey, this is me.

- Yeah.

Oh, hey, man. You know what?

I got to go.

It was really great to meet you

and, uh,

take it easy, all right?

Is everything okay?

- Aye!

- Hey, is something wrong?

Is... is it paparazzi?

I'll create a divergence!

What are you doing?

Isn't that your...

Get on the train!

Hey, Vic.

Let's get ready to move.

Looks like they're getting

on this bus.

I swear,

if we lose these guys, you guys

are all walking back to Carl's.

What? Why?

'Cause you guys

keep asking me stupid questions.

Let's go.

I get it.

You keep pretending that people

are chasing after you

so you keep your acting sharp.

- Wow.

- Yeah, no.

It... it helps. It does.

It helps.

Wow. That is fantastic.

Hey, can you

give me any other advice?

I would really appreciate it.

- Well, it's a tough business.

- Okay.

All right, there's always gonna

be some a**hole trying to Jack

you of your opportunities,

all right?

- So don't trust anybody.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, I hope you

make your audition, man.

Thank you so much, sir.

Hey!

Hey, it's an honor!

Whatever.

Man, that was a waste of time.

He didn't even have a gun.

Don't worry about it.

Look, we've got snacks now.

Hey, man.

You got to try these chips.

Those look like not chips,

all right?

Why are we walking

through all these alleys?

I don't like to pay

for the parking.

Chinatown sucks.

Man, I don't need one of those.

What I really need right now

is... one of those?

Hey, shut up and give me

your wallets... both of you.

Man.

This is just...

what are you doing?

- I'm giving him my wallet.

- Just shut up.

And you, do the same thing...

Wallet, now.

No, I don't want to.

- What?

- Are you crazy?

Yeah, man. What are you, crazy?

No.

Look, if I give you my wallet,

can I put

these down on the ground?

Whatever.

- Wallet, now.

- You know what?

I don't want to do that 'cause

it smells like someone

took a piss here and I

don't want to mess up my chips.

- So you hold this.

- Hold this?

Hold this.

Look at that.

Yeah, uh,

it's a gun with no... no clip.

There's no bullets.

Always complaining.

Okay, come on, man.

So, this guy, Pete,

he makes fake I.D.S

yeah, there's only a few guys

that are really pro.

Right there... white door.

So, what? We just wait?

- Yep.

- All right.

- Hello?

- I told you weren't out of it.

What's up?

New martial arts film casting

for an overweight actor

who can throw a couple of kicks

and they don't care

what you look like.

Now who's the man?

- Live!

- What am I gonna do?

Take drugs through my phone?

Is there an app for that?

What right do you have to take

my phone from me anyway?

It's part of the agreement

that all patients

make when they're receiving

treatment here.

Attacking the nurse is not

the way to deal...

- Attacking?

- You stomped on her foot.

I'm sorry, okay?

After you apologize

to the right nurse.

Okay, fine!

Okay, stop it right there.

Take it back a couple

of seconds.

Yeah, what am I gonna do?

Take drugs through my phone?

Is there an app for that?

Okay, right when she

says "I hate this place,"

I want you to cut to her crying

while she's talking

about her dad's abuse.

And then I want you to cut back

to her

talking to Amy saying "I've

never had a friend like you,"

and then I want you to cut to

her slapping Amy.

I think that's gonna

play out really nicely.

Yeah, no problem.

Hello?

- Hi, Amera?

- Yeah.

Shelley's not working well

with us.

She's getting increasingly

violent.

Yeah, and you've been doing

such an amazing job with her.

Take your bad shoes and go out!

I'm placing a request

to transfer to...

oh... oh, wait, wait, wait.

No, you can't do that.

Our ratings have gone way up

since she joined the show.

You know, my contract

says I have the right

to treat these patients

as I see fit.

Okay. No problem at all.

Thank you.

You are wasting my time.

Did you not hear me?

It's looking good.

What is wrong with you?

Out! Out!

We really need to find somebody

to replace Shelley

before she goes.

Are you insane?

I was just showing him

how to do the moves properly.

Proper... y-you hit the guy

in the back of the head

with a wooden sword!

How are you gonna hit him

in the back of the head

if he's supposed

to be watching you?

Hey, I took it upon myself

to make sure

that he does his job right,

which you guys apparently

screwed it up again.

Well, apparently I don't think

this went down the way

you say it did,

because you're obviously

a no-talent poser

who was suggested to me

by a casting director

that I'm never gonna use again.

Huh? What was her name again?

Was it your cousin? Huh?

Well, you can't fire me unless

you're gonna re-shoot everything

I just did, which is gonna

end up costing you.

I'll be just fine. Thanks, man.

But you can expect a lawsuit

from this guy when he wakes up.

Now get the hell off my set.

All right, guys.

I guess we'll finish these

scenes when this guy's okay.

And we'll do the pickups when we

find a new actor, all right?

Now let's... let's start

setting up, guys.

Okay, I'm gonna

give you one last...

get the hell of my set,

you maniac!

Okay, you know what?

You're making a mistake.

You're firing

the next Tomas de la Cruz!

Who?

All right, somebody

call the police.

This is bullshit!

Hey, w-when can I get bullets

for this thing?

I mean, what is the point...

wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait. There he is.

So what do we do?

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