Unlucky Stars Page #5

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Do we... do we call Carl

now or what?

No, no, no, no.

He's gonna be in an out

and on his way.

So we'll just wait right here

and then follow him

to wherever he's staying.

Thanks.

Oh. Here we go.

- Hello?

- Yeah, we found Tomas.

He's at 2135 green street.

It's an apartment building.

Nice going, Kenny.

Uh, we tailed him from a guy

who makes fake I.D.S,

so I'm guessing he's not

gonna be here for very long.

I'll have some guys there soon.

All right.

Last chance,

then you're digging ditches.

Change first, but whatever.

What happens now?

Well,

he's sending some guys over,

so all we got to do is make sure

Tomas doesn't leave.

See that dude in front there?

That's that prick

I was talking about.

Oh, rich?

That little guy in the middle?

Yeah?

He's been wanting

to fight me since day one.

I don't know

what his problem is.

I almost feel bad

that we're helping these guys.

Listen, um...

I'm probably not gonna be

seeing you again anytime soon.

What do you mean?

God, whatever, Tomas.

You know what?

You're being just like any other

guy with your bullshit.

- Will you just wait a second?

- No.

I will not wait a second.

And I will not wait

for your explanation.

I got to admit, though.

I have never heard the "bookie's

after me for $15,000" excuse.

Lame.

I really wish you'd just

listen to me for a second.

Yeah? Can I help you guys?

- No, but he can.

- Okay.

All right, all right, all right.

You know what?

Just... can we take

this outside?

Why? Is that

where you keep your money?

I don't have it right now,

all right?

But I'm gonna get it.

Why don't you just

call your buddy here

and have him bring it instead?

- My buddy?

- We saw you guys last week

by the piers.

You were giving him something.

That's not my buddy, all right.

That's just some fan

who wanted an autograph.

Can we get your autograph, too?

All right, this is crazy.

I'm gonna call the police.

Aw, now

why you got to go do that?

So, how long's it take

three punks to kick the crap

out of one action star?

What? Let's go.

What do we do? What do we do?

What do we do?

Call an ambulance.

Yeah, yeah...

Hey! Who you calling? Huh?

You gonna come

kick this phone away from me?

- What if I do?

- See what happens.

I'll get you later.

Welcome back to "celebrity

action rehab live!"

Now we will meditate

to the music

as our anger

and tension melt away.

- Guess who I saw yesterday.

- Who did you see?

- Sylvester wonton.

- No way.

Oh, what was the name

of that last movie he did?

- "Garbage man."

- Did anybody go see that?

Yeah, I did.

It was like being a tampon

in a heavy flow,

but you needed another one.

I needed to call for backup.

Well, Ivan's dead.

I can't kill rich and Vic now.

Not... "let's all three

of them," you know?

It doesn't feel right.

They're like the three brothers,

the three amigos,

three compadres.

And when I started bugging him,

he got pissed at me 'cause

his friend died.

And I'm like, "am I supposed

to care about that?"

He'd be perfect for the show.

I'll be right back.

Are you just stupid?

Is that what the problem is?

He put Manny in the hospital.

He just threw Ivan

out of a window.

So you thought, "kill

this guy... an eye for an eye."

Cover your tracks really well

"and everything

will be just fine?"

Never mind the 15 grand,

so long as you teach someone

a lesson?

That's what the goal is here?

He just killed Ivan.

Ivan was a prick

and he slept with your sister.

Ask him.

Why don't you speak English...

hey, why don't you shut up

or I'll kill you right here?

How about that?

Look, let

me just explain to Carl, okay?

I said shut up or I will drop

you in the street.

You're not explaining anything

to my dad.

In fact, he doesn't want you

anywhere near his curb.

Here's what you two

are gonna do... you're gonna

find Ken and his little buddy

and you're gonna follow them

wherever they go.

And you better hope

Ken finds Sameer,

and you really better hope

Sameer has that money

you're so sure he has.

What if Ken

doesn't find anything?

Did I not tell him to shut up

or I'll kill him?

Do not speak in my presence

any more.

Find Ken.

Then your life

depends on him finding Sameer.

And you,

call me when it's an order.

Or a text.

Shoot me a text.

Go.

Aren't you tired?

I haven't pulled an all-nighter

in a long time, you know?

If you want to take off

and get some rest,

it's cool with me if you don't

mind walking or taking a bus.

All right.

Hey, listen, man.

Um, I don't know what you're

planning on doing now, but I...

I don't think I can help you

find that other guy for Carl.

I-I didn't expect this job

to be like this.

- Hello?

- Kenny, my man.

Excellent work last night.

My pops sent over Doe

with the payment.

I hope Tomas's fan

won't be too hard to find.

Yeah, shouldn't be a problem.

Great.

Okay, thank you.

No, thank you.

Carl put double payment

in my drop box.

You won't have

to worry about rent for months.

What?

I just... I don't know

how I feel about that.

What happened

to honorable judge Josh?

Didn't Tomas deserve this?

Doesn't Sameer deserve his, too?

Because... yeah,

I said that people

should choose their friends

better if their friends

get them into trouble,

but I don't want somebody

to die just to prove my point.

I don't want

anybody dying for anything.

I mean, maybe to you, Stan,

and Nick,

this is like normal everyday...

this isn't normal for me, okay?

I've been doing this

for a few years now,

and besides Carl's guys

roughing up a few people

here and there,

the worst I've ever seen

is some property damage

or a few broken hearts.

Everything else was for show.

All the clients Nick

and I've had,

talking about getting back

at people,

nothing has ever gone this far.

Well, that's what I'm saying,

man, I just...

I don't think I could continue

this case with you

if it's gonna go that far.

Well, me neither.

I get what you're saying.

I just feel like if I

don't get to Sameer first,

somebody else will.

So, if you want to help,

I could use it.

But if not, hey, I understand.

All right, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, come see this.

The death of Tomas de la Cruz.

In the life after death...

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Hey, I'm just showing her

this guy's web blogs.

He's supposedly an action star

from the middle east

or something.

And he's all depressed

about his idol's murder.

It's got to be a joke.

My friend worked as a P.A.

On an indie film this guy

was a star of,

and he supposedly fought on-set

with his own stunt double.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Do you want to see

him talk about it?

- It's hilarious.

- Yeah.

Actually, does he have

any contact information

on his channel?

They're gonna be my road hunt.

So, again, for the camera,

if you don't mind.

Okay, after doing a long set

of some fight choreography

that I did.

So I walk off and...

And I'm going straight

to grab my water bottle,

and here he comes...

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