Unrelated Page #5

' I am not afraid of you.

'F*** off!'

- JACK SPITS

- Out!

DOOR SLAMS:

CICADAS CHIRP:

I'm so sorry, Tom.

I've got nothing to say to you.

F*** OFF!

CICADAS CHIRP LOUDLY

Hello.

Hello. This is my father-in-law.

EXCITED CHATTER:

THEY ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Look at you! How you've grown!

Look!

Archie? Archie.

Nice to meet you.

- If ever I've got a chance with a girl, I'm really...

- A chance?

You'll never have a chance with a girl!

- What, you've never even got a chance?

- Shut up, man. Shut up!

I'm not talking to you about it.

POLITE CHATTER:

PIANO PLAYS:

- God!

- What's my mum saying? What IS my mum saying?

INAUDIBLE OVER CHATTER

HE PLAYS UPBEAT, LIGHT TUNE

MUSIC CONTINUES:

MUSIC STOPS:

THEY SPEAK IN ITALIAN

SHE RINGS A BELL

EXCITED CHATTER:

Well, about 25 years ago, this place had a terrible robbery

and they stole everything.

And so we had to find furniture to put back in here

and I was given this sofa by a friend of mine

who owned a villa called Villa Feltrinelli on Lake Garda,

where Mussolini had his Republic of Salo after the armistice.

- And, so, this was his personal sofa.

- Goodness!

And because he needed sex ...frequently,

every day, more than every day, erm,

this is probably where he had it.

After that... After that, what was our English commander called?

- Montgomery?

- Montgomery also went there

and I met the gardener who knew them all.

And I actually lay on Mussolini's bed, as well.

- Goodness.

- So, that's where the sofa comes from.

Which was sort of sagging, was it? It is very comfortable.

And in fact, I think you were shown by... Weren't you shown the shell?

- Yeah, sticking in the wall?

- Yes.

- Very curious angle.

Well it was an Allied shell.

So, when I got married, it was a bet, of course,

my father-in-law took me down and said,

"This, I believe, is yours."

So I said, "Most terribly sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

Anna, would you be so kind as to go and tell the young

that they should be thinking about getting their things together?

Not at all. Um, I don't know where they are.

- They went upstairs.

- Did they?

- That's all I know. Yeah.

- They're in the Tower Room, I think.

- Oh.

Right.

- Would you like me to come with you?

- No, that's OK, thank you.

- Are you sure?

Beatricia, that was so delicious, thank you has so, so much.

I must get...

I'd love that recipe, the ham mousse recipe, before we leave.

- It is so easy to do.

- Mmm.

I mean, you throw in a few things and you mix everything.

But, yes, very subtle taste, absolutely gorgeous.

Beatrice's from Bologna.

GENTLE BIRDSONG:

SPEECH INAUDIBLE

We've had nothing but disdain, sarcasm...nothing from that child.

- It's a cover-up, George. He's covering up.

- F*** him, f*** him.

That isn't what I've seen. That isn't what I've seen.

- I have.

- I agree, Charlie. I haven't just seen that.

Yeah, but you're...seeing it from a particular stance all the time.

My stance, yes. That's all I can see it from.

Yeah, but you're not... You're saying, you change your attitude,

I'm not going to change mine.

- I'm too old to change my attitudes.

- You're not, George.

- Oh, come on.

Look at you at the Palio.

You were like a young boy watching that Palio.

You were full of awe and wonder.

- Sure.

- And that's what HE'S like.

I didn't have my supercilious prat of a son

giving me dumb insolence all the time at the Palio.

So it was a bit of a relief. I had quite a good time.

You had a brilliant time. I just think...

- let yourself off the hook, George.

- I've left myself off the hook, actually.

I have let myself off the hook.

I've decided not to care too much about what he does with his life.

He'll be fine, he'll be fine.

Go on, one final ring of fire or something.

Come on, we've got so much booze to get through. We've got sambuca we've got to finish, vodka...

- um, that Cynar stuff. The potent red sh*t.

- OK. I'm going to bed.

- Going to bed?

- Yes.

- What?!

- Yeah.

- Last cigarette.

- Bullshit.

- I don't believe it for a second.

- Finito.

Yeah, whatever you say, man. Keep telling yourself.

- You're going to bed?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I've got to pack stuff.

- Er, pack?

- Mm-hm.

- What?!

- Yeah.

- You're going to pack?

- Yep.

- Mate, you can do that in half-an-hour. Do it in the morning.

- No, no. I've got a lot to do.

Have a good one. See you guys later.

HE LAUGHS:

Have a wild pack(!)

HE LAUGHS:

You know what? I don't really feel like staying up and getting lashed.

I'm going to go help Jack. Night, guys.

Everyone's a f***ing barrel of laughs tonight.

- You're not going to pack, are you?

- No, no.

- Pool?

- Yeah, cool.

Let's do it!

"I'm just going to pack"? It's the last night. What is that?

I know, it's lame.

- It just isn't the spirit of the holiday, you know.

- It certainly isn't.

- Cheers, man.

- Cheers.

Here's to your Italian Bella we're going to find in Siena tomorrow night.

She is going to be hot!

- She's going to be like nothing you've ever seen before.

- Yeah.

It'll break the, er, the lifelong amnesty.

HE LAUGHS:

Sorry.

DOGS BARK IN DISTANCE

ANNA'S PHONE RINGS

Hi, V.

I'm fine, V.

Yeah, honestly, I'm fine.

I-I'm in a hotel.

In Monteroni, actually.

God! This is grim.

I like it.

- Is it something I've done?

- No, V.

It must be something I've done, you've always talked to me.

Why are you not telling me what's going on?

V...

It's been...it's been years since we've talked to each other properly, hasn't it?

Well, I don't think so. I spoke to you about Anthony only a few months ago.

Well, I suppose there have been things in my life that I haven't told you about.

OK. You probably can't tell me everything. We don't see each other as much as we used to

but if it's something big, wouldn't you tell me?

If something big had happened?

I think the bigger it is, the more difficult it is to tell you.

To tell anybody.

So it's not just me, you mean you don't...

you haven't told anybody else?

What is it?

Oh, come on.

ANNA SOBS:

Don't cry.

What's happened?

ANNA SOBS:

Oh, darling, what's happened?

Come on, come on.

Is it Alex? Is it Alex? What's happened?

- Have you left him?

- No.

Has he left you?

What's happened? Please, tell me.

Anna, Anna, Anna.

What can I do with you?

You are so special. You are such a dear person.

I hate being angry with you but you have really made me

so worried this whole holiday, you have been acting so strangely.

I knew something was wrong.

Come on, tell me what it is. Please, tell me.

And I can help you, I hope I can help you.

What's happened?

I thought I was going to have a baby!

Oh, God.

What do you mean? You're...

- Are you pregnant?

- No.

- You were pregnant?

- No.

I thought I was pregnant.

Right. And then what happened?

I...I went to see...

I went to see a doctor.

- I was sure I was pregnant.

- Yep.

I did a pregnancy test and it was negative but I've known so many people with negative results,

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