Up in the Air Page #5

27.

NED:

Well, what happens now?

NATALIE:

This is the first step of a process

that will end with you in a new job

that fulfills you.

NED:

Yeah, but, how does it work?

NATALIE:

I want you to take that packet in

front of you.

Ned picks up the packet.

NATALIE (CONT’D)

Review it. All the answers you’re

looking for are inside. Start

filling out the necessary

information and before you know it,

you’ll be on your way to new

opportunities.

Ned starts to peruse the packet with fake interest.

NATALIE (CONT’D)

Now Ned, I’m going to need you to

go back to your desk and start

putting together your things. As a

favor to me, I’d appreciate it if

you didn’t spread the news just

yet. Panic doesn’t help anybody.

NED:

I understand.

NATALIE:

Have a good day, Mr. Laskin and

good luck with your future.

NED:

Thank you.

Ned gets up and goes to leave.

NATALIE:

Give it up for Ned.

People clap and tease him a little.

28.

POWER POINT:
An animation of one monitor becoming multiple

monitors, all tied into a central switch board in the middle

of a map of the country.

NATALIE (CONT’D)

You can start the morning in

Boston, stop in Dallas over lunch

and finish the day in San

Francisco. All for the price of a

T1 line. Our inflated travel budget

is eviscerated by eighty-five

percent... And most importantly to

you guys on the road... No more

Christmases in a hotel in Tulsa...

No more hours lost to weather

delays... You get to come home.

Ryan is in a state of silent panic.

INT. CRAIG GREGORY’S OFFICE, CTC - MOMENTS LATER

Ryan enters and stops short.

RYAN:

Tell me you’re not taking this

seriously.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Yeah, that’s why we brought the

entire company in from the road -

Because we’re not taking this

seriously.

RYAN:

It doesn’t make any sense. It’s...

(searching)

... completely impersonal.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Who am I even talking to?

RYAN:

There’s a methodology to what I do.

A reason why it works.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Ryan, Coke and IBM have been doing

it for years. Just like anything,

there’s a few months of transition,

but everyone settles in.

RYAN:

Who are you taking off the road?

29.

A beat.

CRAIG GREGORY:

You don’t get it. You’re grounded, Ryan.

Everyone is. It’s done.

RYAN:

Okay, what we do here is brutal and

leaves people devastated, but there’s

a dignity to the way I do it.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Stabbing people in the chest

instead of the back?

Ryan rolls his eyes.

Craig’s door opens and Natalie pops her head in.

NATALIE:

You wanted to see me?

Craig goes to wave her off.

RYAN:

Yeah, why don’t you come in.

Natalie is confused but takes the chair next to Ryan.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Great job in there, Nat.

NATALIE:

Thank you. How’s everyone taking it?

Natalie and Ryan hold a look for a second.

RYAN:

(to Natalie)

Look, I appreciate your... zeal. And

you have some good ideas. But you

know nothing of the realities of my

job. Sure, you can set up an iChat...

but you don’t know how people think.

NATALIE:

Actually, I minored in psychology.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Nice.

RYAN:

(to Natalie)

Okay kiddo, fire me.

30.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Ryan, stop it.

RYAN:

She’s going to be doing this on a

regular basis. You don’t want to

know if she can fire somebody?

CRAIG GREGORY:

She just fired Ned.

RYAN:

My dog could fire Ned.

(to Natalie)

Fire me.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Ryan.

NATALIE:

It’s okay, I got this.

Ryan and Natalie turn to face each other.

NATALIE (CONT’D)

Mr. Bingham, I regret to inform you

that your position is no longer

available.

RYAN:

Who the hell are you?

NATALIE:

My name is Miss Keener and I’m here

today to discuss your future.

RYAN:

My future? I don’t know you. The

only person who can fire me is

Craig Gregory.

NATALIE:

Mr. Gregory hired me to handle this

for him.

RYAN:

Handle what? Handle me? Mr. Gregory

hired me and he’s the only one who can

fire me. I’m going to talk to him.

Ryan gets up. Natalie gets up too.

NATALIE:

Mr. Bingham...

31.

RYAN:

You can’t follow me... You’re on a

computer screen. Remember?

NATALIE:

(frustrated)

Ryan...

Ryan sits back down.

RYAN:

Try again. Fire me.

NATALIE:

I just did.

RYAN:

Actually, you didn’t. Now, fire me.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Stop it, Ryan.

NATALIE:

(ignores Craig)

Mr. Bingham, I’m here today to

inform you that your position is no

longer available.

RYAN:

I’m fired?

NATALIE:

Yes, you’re fired.

RYAN:

(aside)

Never say fired.

NATALIE:

You’ve been let go.

RYAN:

Why?

NATALIE:

(breaks the moment)

This is a mythical situation. How

could I possibly know why?

RYAN:

You never know why. Why doesn’t

matter.

32.

NATALIE:

(back on track)

It’s important not to focus on the

“why” and rather to spend your

energy thinking about your future.

RYAN:

I’m going to spend my energy on

suing you if you don’t give me a

reason that you’re firing me.

NATALIE:

Mr. Bingham, the reason is not

important.

RYAN:

Oh, so you’re firing me without

grounds.

(to Craig)

Now, I really have a lawsuit.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Ryan, I think we know what you’re

trying to say...

NATALIE:

(still in character)

Don’t take this personally, Mr.

Bingham.

Ryan stops.

RYAN:

Personally?

(quiet and calm)

This is the most personal situation

you will ever enter. So before you

try to revolutionize my business,

I’d like to know that you actually

know my business.

INT. RYAN’S OFFICE, CTC - DAY

Ryan is staring out his window watching a plane take flight.

Craig enters.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Hell-of-a-way to welcome her to the

team.

33.

RYAN:

Am I the only one who sees that by

automating our own business, we’re

making ourselves irrelevant.

CRAIG GREGORY:

(frankly...)

No... We’re making you irrelevant.

Ryan shoots a look.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT’D)

Hey, don’t blame me. Blame fuel

costs. Blame insurance premiums.

Blame technology.

(a beat)

Watch yourself, Ryan. You’re too

young to be a dinosaur...

RYAN:

I’m not... I’m not a dinosaur.

CRAIG GREGORY:

I want you to show her the ropes.

RYAN:

What do I know about what happens

around here? Have Ferguson do it.

CRAIG GREGORY:

I’m not talking about here.

A beat as Ryan registers what Craig means: The Road.

RYAN:

No.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Hey, you seem pretty confident that this

girl doesn’t know what she’s doing...

RYAN:

Excuse me. I just don’t think a

MySpace page qualifies you to

rewire an entire company.

CRAIG GREGORY:

Great. Well, here’s your chance.

Show her the magic. Take her

through the paces.

RYAN:

I’m not a f***ing tour guide.

34.

Craig cups one of his hands and places a FOLDED POST-IT

between his fingers like a ship’s sail.

CRAIG GREGORY:

(re:
his hand)

This is the boat.

Craig raises his other finger far away.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT’D)

(re:
his finger)

This is you.

A beat of Ryan taking in this ridiculous illustration.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT’D)

Do you want to be in the boat?

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