Uptown Saturday Night Page #4

All we got to do is go inside,

see this Little Seymour...

and ask him about our property.

Now, come on.

-You see what I saw?

-Yes, I saw what you saw...

and don't worry about nothing...

because the dude mess with me,

I'll knock him out.

You know why?

Because I'm from off the corners.

Now, come on.

You just let some cat look funny at me

and see if I ain't on his case.

That's right!

Because my money

is in this place someplace, too.

That's right, and where my money

is concerned, I don't play.

I get mean when you mess with my green.

Now, you see if I'm kidding.

Say, man.

Say, brother.

-Say, I'm talking to you, man.

-What you want?

You seen Big Percy around here?

-Who wants to know?

-I'm asking the questions, sissy.

Sissy!

-I asked you a question, chump!

-He ain't here.

Why didn't you say that in the first place?

You dig it? You knock a dude down,

you get some respect.

Come on.

Yeah. Now, you understand

what I'm talking about?

That's the only way to do it.

The American way.

You understand that?

Now, the dude said that Big Percy...

Little Seymour's bodyguard, ain't here.

So let's go get Little Seymour!

-You understand? Go ahead.

-Let's get him.

Now listen here, you all...

I'm looking for...

a corny little runt

named Seymour Petigreau.

I know you're in here, Seymour,

so come on out!

I hear you're so ugly...

till the sun refuse to shine

every time you come out.

You're so ugly...

till it's against the law in 20 states

to marry you.

Yeah, that's it, Steve. You're cooking.

You keep on talking.

He's in here somewhere...

and just remember, I got your back.

And dig, say something about his mama.

-Gotcha.

-That'll get him.

I hear your breath's so bad...

till you put the three leading toothpastes

out of business.

Seymour Petigreau....

Come out!

I'm Little Seymour.

And I'm Big Percy.

What do you turkeys want?

Mr. Seymour, I just got out the hospital.

I was in the war. Veteran.

See, I mean, every once in a while...

I have these fits, you know.

And the fits are....

I mean, I be jumping bad...

and trying to make an impression

on people.

But it's them fits that's doing it.

But then, every once in a while...

they just go down

and then I be myseIf again...

and I don't be jumping bad.

But it's not my fault, Mr. Seymour.

But I'm not reaching for a gun. I got a card.

See, the card says, "If in case of a fit...

"please put this man unharmed in a cab

and send him home to his wife.

"She pay the bill."

So I didn't want you

to get the wrong impression.

You loud-talked me.

Nobody loud-talks Little Seymour.

See, Mr. Seymour, that's.... See, I didn't....

He's the one who loud-talked you.

But, first of all, you got to understand

about his grandmother.

His grandmother brought up him...

and his sisters.

Ever since they was down there

picking cotton, Mr. Seymour.

I know you can identify

with picking cotton.

If you can't, then I can dig that.

But anyway, see, what happens

is the grandmother's an old lady, you dig?

And so his sister's been keeping

life savings on her...

because she don't trust the bank too deep.

Banks are ripping people off and stuff.

And then she went to Zenobia's, you dig?

And in Zenobia's...

was robbed of the money.

And the life savings just went.

So my man said,

"Let's go check out Mr. Seymour."

Because you're highly thought of

in our community, you dig?

I mean, you're even bigger

than Geechie Dan Beauford, you dig?

Anyway he's desperate to talk to you.

That's why he's calling you

all them names.

But if you notice, Mr. Seymour,

he never said nothing about your mother.

So he wasn't that desperate, you see?

Steve, come over here

and apologize to Mr. Seymour.

This is my friend, Steve,

who's going to apologize to you.

Let's get a few things straight.

First, whoever hit Zenobia

is going to pay for it...

with the skin off their tail

when I find out who it is...

because me and her is tight.

And second, that story

you just told me is bullshit.

Yes, sir.

And third...

here's a little something

for n*ggers who loud-talk Little Seymour.

-Hi, girl.

-Hi, Irma.

-Where are they?

-ln there, child.

-What are we gonna do with these fools?

-I don't know.

No, wait a minute. See, because

first of all, that was the hardest-hitting...

fastest, baddest little black man

of colored descent...

I have ever seen in my life.

-But I had him on the run, didn't l?

-Didn't you?

-Did he hit me with his foot or his hand?

-Both of them, at the same time.

Wardell, honey.

Your imagination's going to get you killed

one of these days.

Now, get up and let me take you home

and try to patch you up.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Don't forget, tomorrow we going after

big-time Geechie Dan Beauford.

You got it.

I'm here to see Mr. Geechie Dan.

Wait here.

A man's here to see you, boss.

Bring him over here and sit him down.

Sit down.

Now, what do you want?

Sir, see, it's like this.

Some property of mine was stolen...

and I need some help.

So what you coming to me for?

I heard that don't nothing go down

unless you know about it.

Man, get out of my face.

No. Just a minute, Geechie Dan.

Mr. Beauford.

If you don't get away from here soon...

they are going to be picking up your head

from across the street.

Now move out, sucker.

Wait one minute. Don't be pulling....

Mr. Beauford, please, sir. Please.

Move it!

All right, let's start all over again.

-You all going to tell me something.

-What?

-Anything I want to know.

-We don't know nothing.

Somebody hired you to finger me...

-and I want to know who.

-Nobody hired us to do nothing.

I just came to you

because I was looking for help.

-You're a lying dog, sucker.

-No. I ain't. We told you...

-we don't know nothing about them guns--

-N*gger!

And you, too, hot lips.

I'll talk!

If we talk, are you going to let us go?

How we know you ain't lying?

First off, I don't want you.

I want your boss. And second...

I like you.

And third...

if you all don't tell me everything

I want to know...

we gonna beat

all the black off both of you.

-What you want to know?

-Silky Slim sent you, didn't he?

He wants to control all my territory,

don't he?

That's what I figured.

You all take these two dogs somewhere,

put them to sleep.

-You said you was going to let us go.

-You just confessed, turkey.

-Your ass is grass.

-No.

I can prove who we are.

There's my stub from my paycheck.

My name's on it.

My name.

My bowling club lD, see?

So you are only finger men? So what?

You know too much. Get them out of here.

-Why don't we hit Slim?

-I thought about it...

-but he's hard as hell to get.

-Anyone can be gotten to.

It's funny, man.

One day, I'm on top of the world.

And now this thing with Silky Slim.

He must be crazy!

Think I'll let him move in on my territory

and do nothing about it?

-Right.

-Who does he think he is?

-He's messing with Geechie Dan Beauford!

-Right.

I will kill the punk!

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