Used Cars Page #7

How are you gonna get them home?

I have 250 drivers.

What have i done to the children?

- You want that one too?

- All of them, everything you got.

How about some marijuana? Some rifles?

- Anything that doesn't start, we'll tow.

- Listen, take him up on the reefer.

This had better work!

You told me that your students

needed some road experience, right?

They're gonna get a crash course.

Hey, you, amigo!

How about some rifles for your students?

Chico! Bring some rifles!

Take your hands off me, sir!

I don't believe in violence!

Forget about the rifles...

i think she skipped town.

Good! I'll win the damn thing

on a default. This calls for a toast...

to the man who in two hours will be

the biggest car dealer in the southwest.

Me. Roy I. Fuchs.

Straighten that out, carmine.

Drivers! To your cars!

Jeff, do you read me?

I just finished measuring these.

If we throw in the 26 cars on the lot, -

- that gives us 18 feet

safety margin. That's one car.

- That's playing it pretty close.

- Are we going to make it in two hours?

You girls ready for some

heavy duty driving?

Let's see, left hand at 10 o'clock

and right hand at 2 o'clock.

Jeff, do you read?

Yeah, you got your own "back door man",

i'll be bringing it up to your rear...

will you watch

where the hell you're standing!

You gotta find yourself

another car, n*gger!

This is the only cadillac here and i don't

drive in nothin' but a cadillac.

We're towing a car!

Have you ever towed a car before?

- No.

- Oh great!

Drivers! Start your engines!

I'm gonna have to take one hand

off the wheel to start the car...

you're not gonna

flunk me for that, are you?

Just start the car.

- You ready?

- Let's go.

Let's move 'em out!

Come on, baby, let's go!

- How fast are we going?

- Fifty-five.

At this rate, i think we're

going to be about half an hour late.

Everybody listen up! We're gonna have

a lesson in driving history!

This is how we used to drive

on the highways:
At seventy-five mph!

- Everybody seventy-five mph!

- Seventy-five!

Put that pedal on the floor!

I've got this motherf***er wide open!

This dude ain't no driving teacher,

he's some kind of con man.

That's 20 miles over the speed limit.

At $10 a mile, that's a $200 fine.

They can't fine us,

we don't have our license yet.

It's the police! Stop!

Oh sh*t! Wait...

"at the scene of an accident,

always wait for the police to arrive. "

- This is eleven forty-four...

- they're here.

Rudy, we just lost

our one-car safety margin, pal.

You'd better scout ahead for more cops.

We can't take any more chances.

Okay, ten-four.

- How much do you owe me now, carmine?

- Twenty-seven.

Look at that...

i just heard some crazy sh*t

on my police scanner.

There's a whole shitload of used cars

headed this way. You care about that?

Sh*t!

Rudy, i hope you read me

'cause we got a real big problem.

- What is it?

- Police roadblock.

- What the hell are you gonna do?

- We're going to take a short cut.

What are you... oh, hi, roy.

Did you see about

No, we haven't seen 'em yet.

- Where the hell are they?

- Who cares? They'll never make it.

Yeah, the only way they can get there

on time is to drive as the crow flies.

- I wouldn't worry about it.

- What did you say?

Never mind!

Back up there and take a left!

You pea-brained ignoramus!

What a beautiful day.

Two thirty... whose idea was it,

going out to this used car lot?

I could have been out playing golf.

There they are!

Head for the lead truck!

Hey, rudy, looks like we got company.

Fuchs! What the hell is this?

Get out and get in the back!

Get in the damn back!

You're crazy!

Don't give me no goddam lip!

Get in the goddam back now!

What the hell is he doing?

Hey, rudy!

You want me to ram the son of a b*tch?

No! Keep going!

We're running out of time!

Pull over closer!

Pull in behind them!

Pull in behind them!

Keep it going! Don't stop for anything!

He's got a gun!

- Shoot the son of a b*tch!

- You motherf***er, you!

- Pull over!

- Get off of there!

You motherf***er!

Keep going!

Slow down...

i want you bad, you fat-ass!

I want you, man! I want you!

I gotta have you! I'm gonna get you!

- Heavy duty, brother!

- Follow the black car!

Thanks for dropping in!

Get away from me!

Stop that truck!

What am i supposed to do when someone's

standing on the hood of my car?

Close in! Faster!

Move it up closer!

Let go of him!

You all right?

Billingham, let's move this chariot.

I still may be able

to get in eight holes.

What the hell is this now?

A mirror truck?

I hope none of them's cracked...

let's go! That's it!

That's it!

We made it! Nice job!

That was some pretty heavy driving!

- We missed page 35!

- We're here, aren't we?

- This motherf***er's all right.

- This car is bad, i tell you, man!

Well, did i pass the test, mr ghertner?

Yes, as long as you promise

to get your license in another state.

I think we got plenty of time.

Look who's coming!

We made it!

I know you're seeing the same thing with

those itty-bitty beady eyes of yours.

I tell ya, that sure looks

like a mile of cars to me.

Let's just make sure, your honour.

Measure them! Every one of them!

No, sir! That's it!

I mean, that's a red car...

i'm sorry, i tried...

no, no, no, it's a red car.

If jeff don't get here,

we're going to be 18 feet short.

Dammit...

jeff, come in!

Jeff, come in! Are you there?

Come in! Are you there?

Are you there?

- Jeff, come in, please!

- Where is he?

- Yeah, rudy, i'm here.

- Where's here?

I'm parked near the railroad crossing

on valley road, near highway 9.

Get over here! We're in a hurry!

Without your car we're 18 feet short!

Can't they measure them any faster?

What do you expect me to do?

Put roller skates on them boys?

The paint washed off, rudy,

and there's red paint underneath, -

- you see, i can't drive it,

it's a red car!

Jeff, you've been driving it all day.

It's all in your mind, you can do it...

- which side of the tracks are you on?

- East.

He's on the wrong side. The 2.45

is coming through. You've got to do it!

- I can't do it.

- Red cars don't mean sh*t!

I'm sorry... listen to me...

there's grey primer underneath that red

paint, you're really driving a grey car.

Please, jeff,

if you don't get here, we lose the lot.

- Fourteen seven!

- Seventeen feet, nine inches.

What do you think, toby?

Sh*t! Wouldn't you know it?

For once the train's on time.

- Seventeen six.

- Eighteen feet, four inches.

- Seventeen feet, nine inches.

- Fourteen four.

Come on!

Eighteen feet, four inches.

Is that the last car?

What's the final total?

Come on! One of these...

well, it'd better be a grey car...

you cheated! You cheated!

You cheated, you bastards!

Easy, roy, they're on

the last car and they're short.

Five thousand two hundred and sixty-two

and... eighteen will make a mile...

here it is, right there!

You're eighteen feet short.

Take it from the bumper!

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