Vacation Page #7

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Yes, we're here to see Mr. Roy Walley.

What is your name, sir?

Clark W. Griswold.

What is this regarding, Mr. Griswold?

It's a public... business...

summer inspection...

Personal matter.

Well, nobody notified

this office of anything!

Well, I'm notifying you.

I'll need more than that, sir.

Have you lost your mind?

Where did you get that?

At the sporting goods store.

You listen to me, fat ass.

You do what I say and there won't be

any problems, okay?

We drove 2,460 miles, just for

a little Roy Walley entertainment.

The Moose says you're closed.

I say you're open.

We're not really violent people.

This is our first gun.

No, it isn't.

What's going on here?

You! Freeze! Freeze!

Sit! Sit!

Lie down! Let's go, lie down!

Roll over!

Stay!

Okay! Let's ride! Let's ride!

Come on!

Stay!

This is scary isn't it?

You boys and girls make sure...

...you keep your hands on

the handlebars at all times.

We don't want any accidents!

Is that a real gun, Mom?

I don't know.

But when this is all over...

...your father may be going away

for a little while.

Boy, I sure am bushed!

Have you had enough yet, sir?

What do you mean "bushed"?

Where are the big rides?

The big ones?

Let's go. Get in the front.

Come on.

Has your father ever

killed anyone before?

Just a dog.

Oh, and my Aunt Edna.

Hey! You can't prove that, Rusty.

Rusty? May I call you Rusty?

I had a bad experience

on this ride once before.

What happened?

I threw up.

Now, don't do that again!

Goodie, goodie, goodie!

The Loop-D-Loop!

Come on, get in there.

Let's go, huh, kids?

Please, don't push!

Come on, Audrey.

Isn't this fun, honey?

That's not a real gun, is it, Clark?

What? Are you kidding?!

This is a Magnum P.I.!

It's a BB-gun!

Don't try me.

I could put your eye out with this.

You couldn't even break skin with that.

It could! It could break the skin.

It could put a lodge under the skin

and cause a bad infection.

That's an old wives' tale, Clark!

I'm telling.

See, I told you! I warned you!

If you wrecked the pants,

you'll pay for them!

Yeah, I'll pay for 'em.

Freeze!

Don't shoot!

Hands behind your heads!

Spread your legs!

Move up against the wall!

You two, over there!

It's just a BB-gun!

You are all under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

Watch your hands, mister!

How many are there?

A lot of them?

Whatever they want...

We'll pay 'em! We'll pay 'em!

Tell me, what is going on?

Everything's under control, sir.

They are terrorists!

Where?

Them?

He treated me like a dog!

He humiliated me!

What did he do with your dog?

He kidnapped me, Mr. Wally,

but I gotta tell you...

...I had a great time on your rides.

It was the most fantastic

experience I've ever had!

I like the part where you go

really way up high...

I'm glad you liked it.

Now, what's happening?

That is Roy Walley, honey!

I'm Russ Lasky. I met you

at the summer picnic last year.

I don't remember.

They kidnapped one of my men.

I was the one who got sick.

Anyway Mr. Wally,

I went on all the rides...

...I didn't get sick this time.

Normally I get sick on all your rides...

Quiet!

Mr. Walley... Roy?

I think I can make

some sense out of this.

Well, someone had better explain!

Or there will be a lot

of explaining to do!

I'm Clark W. Griswold.

This is my wife, Ellen.

Hi. We're big fans of yours.

We watch your show all the time.

These are my children, Audrey and Rusty.

Nice family.

We're from Chicago, Roy.

"The Windy City. "

I've been there many times.

We just spent two weeks

of living hell, driving out here.

We lost a dear member

of the family on the way.

But, the important thing,

Roy, is that...

...we could have gone anywhere

we wanted to this summer.

Anywhere in the world.

But when I asked my kids...

Kids, remember when I asked you

where you wanted to go on vacation?

What did you say?

Hawaii?

Shut up, Russ.

Audrey, you remember?

Walley World, Dad?

"Walley World, Dad! "

Roy Walley World.

Do you have any children, Mr. Walley?

Are you kidding? I have seven.

I thought so.

Seven, did you hear that, honey?

You look so young!

Did you ever drive them across country?

I took the whole clan

to Florida one year.

The worst two weeks

I ever had in my life.

The smell from the backseat

was too unbearable.

I know that smell.

Imagine how your kids would

have felt if Florida had been closed.

They don't close Florida.

I know they don't close

the state of Florida.

When we got here,

to Roy Walley World...

...and it was closed down...

If you had seen the look

on my kids faces.

I guess I went a little haywire.

You went a lot haywire,

if you ask me!

I'm very sorry, sir.

I'm sorry to all these people.

I didn't mean any harm.

I want you to ask yourself one thing.

If you were me...

...wouldn't you have done

the same thing for your children?

No.

Mr. Walley, do you want me to take

them downtown and book them?

No... no.

Forget it, officer.

I'm not going to press any charges.

What did I tell ya?

Did I say trust me?

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